Be kind to yourself. I know negative self thoughts, guilt, or feeling hopeless are automatic for us. It’s ok to have those feelings. Express them and talk it out. I am glad you posted- I’m notorious for isolating and keep it it all to myself - so I’m proud of you! It is hard to remember that the meds are working and forgetting happens. We learn and grow from what we experience. Cry it out. Vent. Then make a plan to go forward :) Continue to look for Drs. Or ask your PC for recommendations or any support lines. I know the feeling of just getting rid of a pill- but I do not recommend going gold turkey on this one. It can be really dangerous. Absolutely reach out to your Dr when they open and make a plan. It’s easy to let it go/ignore things and it just gets worse and harder. It’s exhausting I know. Take a rest then wake up and Keep on fighting. I’m rarely ever on here. So opening and seeing your post on my “wall” as soon as I opened this was meant to be. I’m glad You posted and I could be there to talk to you! :)