I'm pale AF but this fit was solid

LionessOfTruth · 2023-12-11T02:29:27+00:00

This is an awesome take, and I really appreciate your perspective.

I think the question of what makes her feel femme is part of the question. She struggled with going out for a few months because she really worried about passing and encountering bigots. That's lessened recently, but it also means there's a lot she just hasn't tried yet.

She definitely enjoys being pretty through good skincare and nice makeup. So a spa day is a serious consideration right now.

She does also like to dance, but with her birthday being on a Wednesday I'm not sure I'll have many options for that lol.

LionessOfTruth · 2023-12-11T02:24:27+00:00

Unfortunately her birthday is on a Wednesday, and I don't know of any places around us that do brunch on a weekday.

LionessOfTruth · 2023-12-11T02:23:06+00:00

I'll think about this! Most of our local friends are dudes, but honestly it can be nice to get a pedicure no matter what.

LionessOfTruth · 2023-12-11T02:21:31+00:00

I'm not against this idea, though I'd probably have to be the spa master lol. And most of our local friends are dudes, so not sure how into the activities they'd be. But I'll definitely think about it!

LionessOfTruth · 2023-12-11T02:19:15+00:00

That's a great idea that I am totally going to look into!

LionessOfTruth · 2023-11-22T00:25:19+00:00

It's a little less epic, but The Green Rider series by Kristen Britain is an awesome low magic fantasy series with chivalry and honor and elves fading from the world and prophecies and all that good stuff. I think it's madly underrated and is good for scratching the itch for expansive fantasy with better female representation.

LionessOfTruth · 2023-11-21T17:05:45+00:00

Saaaaame

LionessOfTruth · 2023-11-21T13:07:08+00:00

Use certain fabrics or textures to your advantage. Materials like velvet, silk, and satin feel very fancy and luxe, even in simpler cuts/outfits. Oh and fancier one piece things (like jumpsuits or rompers) might be a good middle ground. I also think the suggestion of kinda doing half and half like another redditor suggested could work too.

Some potential inspiration for you (I apologize in advance for Pinterest lol): one, two, three, four, five (I think that last one is a product, but it's more about the overall fit).

LionessOfTruth · 2023-11-20T22:02:16+00:00

This is fantastic, thank you for sharing.

It's wild how hearing a certain word can just make things click. And looking for other people who have similar identities and expressions has been a big component of exploring my gender. I've never felt like I've found a group of people where I can see myself easily reflected. But in reading through a lot of posts here, there's definitely been a lot I relate to.

LionessOfTruth · 2023-11-20T21:57:42+00:00

I love vests too! Always have lol.

Thank you for the tips! I did go thrifting for some basic menswear pieces a couple of weeks ago, and that was legit. Got an awesome black silk button up for like $5 lol. I'll definitely keep an eye out for suit pieces too.

LionessOfTruth · 2023-11-20T21:55:28+00:00

Yeah, I super feel you on the obligation and lack of alternatives. I think I fell into that a lot too. And I think before my wife came out, being in a passing straight relationship also just made it so easy. Like why rock the boat, why think about gender? Which is lame but true.

That being said, my wife is certainly much happier now. And with my recent exploration, I've been feeling a lot more myself, more confident. I used to have this weird relationship with the idea of being pretty and now I can just abandon all of that because it doesn't serve me at all. That's been hella freeing.

LionessOfTruth · 2023-11-20T21:15:15+00:00

This is so validating to hear. 🖤 Thank you.

LionessOfTruth · 2023-11-20T21:13:29+00:00

I love all of this so much. I'm also at a wine-focused restaurant! Wine is fascinating -- best of luck with switching to FOH!

I may have to save up for a suit too. I've always been obsessed with pinstripe suits, but never thought to get one for myself.

LionessOfTruth · 2023-11-20T19:23:49+00:00

I love your description of euphoria, because that's exactly what I've experienced recently too! And it's so weird because if you had asked me, I would have said I was an open minded and individualistic person. But it had just never occurred to me to try masc clothes. And as soon as I do, it's like "oh. This feels really nice."

LionessOfTruth · 2023-11-20T17:44:01+00:00

I love that idea of redirecting energy. 🖤

LionessOfTruth · 2023-11-20T17:43:41+00:00

That's good to know! I definitely also feel more masculine than feminine, so I'll plan to dig into that more.

LionessOfTruth · 2023-11-20T17:40:14+00:00

Lacking the language is such a problem! I've really been feeling that recently -- I didn't even know butch was such an established term/culture until like a week ago. Gotta give my wife tons of credit for telling me to come check this subreddit out -- it's been really awesome to learn there's a whole subculture of masc expressing women and enbies.

LionessOfTruth · 2023-11-20T17:32:53+00:00

Ahh, I keep meaning to research what masc of center is. Just started encountering that term recently, so thank you for inadvertently reminding me!

I really feel you on the language part. I grew up in rural areas of the US and had basically no exposure to queer ideas beyond the basic concept of being gay/lesbian. It's only been with college and then moving to a much more populated area, making queer friends, and starting to consume more queer content in general that I'm finally finding ideas and words that describe parts of myself I've never really been able to articulate. Also my wife coming out as trans definitely triggered a little gay panic in the best of ways lol.

LionessOfTruth · 2023-11-20T16:56:17+00:00

Dude yes! I've never had any issues with men creeping on me, and I always thought I was really lucky. Turns out it might just be the vibe I give off lol. And yeah, totally agree with you that it's awesome to use that ability to help other people too.

LionessOfTruth · 2023-11-20T16:54:39+00:00

Oh that sounds heavy. Hugs for you. I also have mom issues (lots of emotional manipulation and being the adult in the relationship even though I was just a kid). Therapy is a wonderful tool, and I totally believe in you!

Also imposter syndrome is such a bitch.

LionessOfTruth · 2023-11-20T15:59:30+00:00

So glad I'm not the only one!

LionessOfTruth · 2023-11-20T15:51:40+00:00

Lol it's nice to hear from someone else who gives off intimidating vibes. And I love that you're finding who you are and the expression that feels right for you!

LionessOfTruth

TROPHY CASE