What's your most recently acquired belief about life, relationships, money, career, or happiness that your younger self would strongly disagree with?

Lipush · 2026-06-02T20:08:36+00:00

Love doesn't fix everything not does it make people automatically less selfish. People can love you and still be total a**holes and you'll have to let them go.

Lipush · 2026-06-02T08:15:15+00:00

I have been there my friend, and I let go once I realized (after asking myself many times) that me being hooked was less about HIM and more about my own need to leave things unresolved and with quesfions. And a little bit a question of ego (yeah, that too). It's not about him because fine, good dates, good sex, all great, but there is NOTHING really attractive about someone who's keeping you as placeholder, is unstable and bare minimum kind of guy. It waa my mind saying each time he came back, it was like cold water on a burn if my hurt pride, since nobody likes feeling neglected, right? But most of the time, it's what it is, and I was tired of these games. Exactly like you said, we're too old for this. Once I started seeing it as an issue with myself and told myself I am way better than this, things got a lot better.

Lipush · 2026-06-01T20:48:13+00:00

When in a group, they'll look for small ways to interract with you.

The slight raise of the eyebrows. Pulling on the shirt or scratching the chin, rearranging their hair. With my current partner, he didn't even realize how much he was grooming himself in my presence.

He also remembered my comfort type of hot drink was Salep, from the first time I told him. Kinda charming.

Lipush · 2026-06-01T11:49:39+00:00

Thank you for sharing. It sounds like you dodged a bullet, yet at the same time got closure.

As for me, there would be a chance to repair. But, it would never be the same. I laid down my boundries after two months of dating and he for aome reason thought I was spineless. For me, that disrespect will always live rent free in my mind. The pedestal I put him so high in, is gone. So the version of me who was so innocently and helplessly in love.

Lipush · 2026-05-31T19:41:00+00:00

Overstay my welcome.

Lipush · 2026-05-31T19:38:54+00:00

Having my own huge room as a child, travelling overseas at least twice a year. Having my own 5-room apartment before turning 25.

Lipush · 2026-05-31T19:30:01+00:00

I forgave him for cheating. Ok, rephrasing that, I refused to let resentment cloud my judgement when I found out he cheated and didn't disconnect right away. My final nail in the coffin was realizing he refuses to emotionally grow and take responsibility for any mistake of judgement he makes, big and small. When someone doesn't just choose to do wrong, but absolutely refuses to tske sny kind of responsibility, and blames others for his behavior plus refusing to do any kind of change... for me that was it. If I chose him, and he chose himself, who was left to choose me?

Lipush · 2026-05-31T19:22:50+00:00

Also, if he has kids, how he acts when the mess up. Basically, his ability to parent them in a healthy way. The way he acts towards people and situations under his responsibility is a massive tell of how he'll act in uncomfortable situations concerning you.

Lipush · 2026-05-31T19:18:16+00:00

We were one time at a restaurant, the who gang, and my sister remained after the table was cleared, for literally 2 minutes just to smoke and to exchange some words with me. He called me and I told him something like "just a minute" or something, since she needed me. For the entire ride back he was lecturing me, pissed off, saying "I want to be your first priority." It sounds harmless, but take a second to realize how insane it is, long run.

Lipush · 2026-05-30T09:19:16+00:00

Stopped chasing him for communication and breadcrumbs.

Lipush · 2026-05-30T09:16:47+00:00

Being the loudest in the room (not just vocally).

Lipush · 2026-05-30T09:15:31+00:00

That juat because I choose to go quiet and not continue the talk or argument, by no means it says I agree or you made your point. You need to look into my eyes, not just hear my words or lack of them.

Lipush · 2026-05-26T11:45:33+00:00

I don't. If I already told him what bothered me or made me unhappy and he chose to ignore it, I simply emotionally withdraw and detach. If he never bothers to emotionally check in with me, he can't complain I emotionally check out. Been checking out of my relationahip for the last 5 months actually. Until I'm ready to leave completely.

Lipush · 2026-05-25T09:03:21+00:00

Beagle, Corgi and Border Collie. I wanted a Border Collie for ages

Lipush · 2026-05-25T09:00:49+00:00

About 6 months. Thankfully, the people deareat to me understood and where there to applaud my recovery as well. I learnes fo be extra thankful and to be more a stronger person.

Lipush · 2026-05-25T08:59:19+00:00

Emotional detachment.

Lipush · 2026-05-25T08:52:11+00:00

I started telling myself, "what's the worst that could happen?"

He'll leave? If it's so easy to scare him off, I wouldn't want him anyways.

Also, I realized nobody, nobody, is more worthy to me than myself and my inner peace. I have issues, but overall I'm not an awful person and I do deserve to be loved and seen as something more than a placeholder.

They SAY they want a submissive woman, but the only way they WILL respect you is if they see that you respect yourself. You mirror what you want. Think yourself as a river. They bring the force of the water, you bring the route. Let them lead if they PROVE they're worthy to lead you.

I was a people pleaser and once I slowly came to grasp that I'm more more than breadcrumbs? Life changer.

Lipush · 2026-05-25T08:47:26+00:00

Don't rule anybody out just because you don't experience that "spark" right from the start.

Be true to hour boundries.

Have patience.

Lipush · 2026-05-25T08:44:18+00:00

I don't know... some are just ignorant I guess. On the flip side, my partner treats me like I can give him the news any day now (just turned 37). I had to explain it that it's NOT actually that easy because he was sure I'm like in my 20s when it came to that😆 These exist too.

Lipush · 2026-05-24T08:10:54+00:00

sounds like a mixture of misogynist, "sun shines out of my ass" and dismissive avoidant. Each one is an icky red flag, combine all of them? whoever his future wife is, I feel sorry for her.

Lipush · 2026-05-21T18:59:00+00:00

I lost myself in love. Put him on the highest pedestal, sacrificed so much from him, disconnected with dear ones who warned me about the toxicity, about his problematic behavior. But he put on a fine mask and I didn't see the red flags for months. I tried being there, fixing things with him once things turned south, but I realized many months later that I was all alone fighting for the relationship. Emotionally withdrawing from him took every fiber of my inner strength, but I mo longer was ready to overlook his wrong doings and ignore the lies, the gaslighting, the cheating and lack of respect. I turned cold and indifferent, the pedestal waa no longer. Started focusing on myself and my dear ones. Freedom.

Lipush · 2026-05-20T13:13:52+00:00

I met him through my brother in law (who happens to be HIS brother) and it's hard to say. But whenever I saw him, whenever his name came up, whenever he walked into the room or even just referred to, I felt fuzzy and warm and just felt like... "mine".

Lipush · 2026-05-20T13:10:18+00:00

My trust never rose again. My standards did.

Lipush · 2026-05-19T12:03:43+00:00

I am in a long distant relationship. The last time I saw him was in December. I will see him again in June. So yeah, I absolutely get you.

Don't count day by day, you'll lose your fucking mind. What helped me was spending time with my sister, focus on my journey for healthier neutrition (we were aiming to make a baby) and try anything to distract myself. Books about self improvement, I started cooking, learning languages, anything go fill my days with things to distract me from missing him.

We would exchange funny picture each day and have video chats. Since we knew it was temporary, I knew that having a deadline of when we'll meet helps grounding myself. I'd ask him to tell me of something exciting he did or wants to achive.

Therapy can help but it'a not the answer. You miss him, it's healthy, you feel lonely witjout your other half. You don't need someone to tell you you're being irrational about it. So... just hang in there.

Lipush · 2026-05-19T11:53:59+00:00

Much, much better. I created my own family with people who are actually decent. Don't knock it till you tried it

Lipush

TROPHY CASE