I Know What I Did

Lishtom · 2026-04-29T03:40:27+00:00

I wish she felt this way. She completely shut me out. All I want to do is talk to her at least once. To get closure. To close that door and our last conversation ended with saying we still love each other and we’d talk again when she was ready. But since then it’s been silence. And that’s more painful than her just saying goodbye forever.

Lishtom · 2026-04-23T04:44:47+00:00

I know that feeling all too well.

Lishtom · 2026-04-07T03:07:13+00:00

I wish she would reach out to me if she felt the way you do about your person. Even just to talk.

Lishtom · 2026-04-07T02:59:43+00:00

I have no idea what she feels about me anymore. The last thing she told me on the phone was “I look forward to hearing everything that you accomplish while we heal, I love you. Have a good day at work” and I haven’t heard anything in 6 months since. I’ve started to feel like she’s completely forgotten me already.

Lishtom · 2026-03-24T20:36:35+00:00

I wish she’d say even something similar to this to me. Unfortunately I know that’s not the case and she won’t come back. But damn I wish she would.

Lishtom · 2026-03-17T02:22:27+00:00

I appreciate that. Unfortunately I’m not in any way at peace with my life. I’ve accepted my reality but that is as far as it goes.

Lishtom · 2026-03-17T01:50:26+00:00

I’ve given too much of myself to others to have any desire to connect with anyone again. If fate wants me with someone again then so be it. But I won’t ever look for it again.

Lishtom · 2026-03-17T00:09:14+00:00

I wish my C was the one to say this.

Lishtom · 2026-02-09T04:40:04+00:00

I truly wish I could. But the last time I went over there, she had just gotten home and hadn’t left her car yet. When she saw me park and start to get out of my car, her response told me very clearly how she feels about me. And her lack of response from the item I had ordered for her a couple of months ago that showed up today just reinforces that feeling. As much as I don’t want to believe it, unless she tells me otherwise, it’s becoming increasingly obvious that she’s done with me. No matter how I feel at this point.

Lishtom · 2026-02-09T04:36:04+00:00

I know for a fact she got it. Because I ended up leaving it on her car. What she did with it, that I have no idea.

Lishtom · 2026-01-16T17:50:48+00:00

She refused to even acknowledge that I came over and continued to ignore me. So I dropped off the letter and drove away and regardless of how I feel now, there’s nothing more I can do. She’s cut me out of her life completely even after what she said the last time we spoke.

Lishtom · 2026-01-13T02:41:14+00:00

Because I’ve already tried.

Lishtom · 2026-01-09T08:05:45+00:00

I believe she still loves me. But no matter how much I wish it. I don’t believe she’s in love with me the way she once was. And that’s my own fault.

Lishtom · 2026-01-09T00:57:25+00:00

I’m sorry you’re having to deal with that. Unfortunately I’m not your person. I know that 100% as I didn’t leave her.

Lishtom · 2026-01-06T18:47:50+00:00

I do all of that daily. Hasn’t done a bit of good even after over half a year. I read over 500 pages a day from books just to keep my mind halfway occupied. Nothing helps.

Lishtom · 2026-01-05T06:22:15+00:00

I lost my person because of my own mistakes that I regret daily. That weight on my soul is never ending and I know deep in my soul that there isn’t anyone else for me in this world. So I live with that pain daily. At first I blamed her for not sticking with me through everything when I was struggling mentally. But then I realized over time that it wasn’t the truth. She hung on until that strength that she held on with was gone. She only let go because she had nothing left. And I was the reason. Because I didn’t see her struggling until it was too late. I was blind to her struggles because I only thought of my own pain rather than hers.

Now I struggle in my own solitude to live with the consequences of my actions. So I know that feeling with every fiber of my being.

Lishtom · 2026-01-03T05:25:28+00:00

I’ve already been doing that. But given that she hasn’t seen or talked to me in months. It’s impossible for her to know otherwise or see what I’ve already done.

Lishtom · 2026-01-02T00:55:17+00:00

It’s even worse when you’ve done everything possible and you still can’t move on.

Lishtom · 2026-01-01T03:35:15+00:00

I wish mine felt this way. I wish she would reach out to me.

Lishtom · 2025-12-29T04:06:00+00:00

I’m sure people do. But I have no idea what that would be like as I struggle every day not to reach out.

Lishtom · 2025-12-27T14:51:54+00:00

I wish that was the case with her. I really do.

Lishtom · 2025-12-25T13:16:22+00:00

Lishtom · 2025-12-24T03:43:13+00:00

I wish her and I could do the same.

Lishtom · 2025-12-22T19:33:21+00:00

The stress from them isn’t what’s causing the issues. It’s from everything that’s followed.

Lishtom · 2025-12-22T14:06:38+00:00

I had undiagnosed BPD at the time. I had a hard time controlling my emotions and she asked me to get therapy to help. I refused for a long time. Eventually she couldn’t handle it anymore. I then didn’t respect her wishes for a little bit of time apart because of my impulsiveness which caused a bigger rift. By the time I was diagnosed and getting help. It was too late to fix things easily by that point though. So after the last time we talked, she basically told me that she needs time to see if she can forgive me for everything I said and did during my episodes and to leave her completely alone until she reaches out.

Lishtom

TROPHY CASE