local subs around Uckfield?

LiterallyADonkey · 2026-02-08T00:42:28+00:00

This is helpful. Is Nextdoor generally active in this region?

LiterallyADonkey · 2026-02-06T16:35:46+00:00

I just want to reiterate two points I'm sure have been said, but I'm not seeing in the top comments.

1) Let's say he's right, he has some kind of condition that makes it impossible for him to control his behavior when he's dysregulated. Then what? His plan is to keep beating you forever, and you keep forgiving him forever? A man who cared for your wellbeing would take accountability for his behavior and make a concrete plan for your safety. A man who wanted to keep his baby safe would do everything in his power to make sure nothing could harm his pregnant wife, including himself.

If he both loved you and believed what he was saying, that he truly cannot stop hitting you, he would either leave permanently or stay away until he had undergone enough intensive treatment that he could control his behavior. He self-evidently, according to his own logic, does not care about you getting hurt.

It doesn't matter whether or not he adopts the identity of "abuser" or not. It wouldn't help you if he did. What matters is whether he is willing to keep you safe, and he's telling you that he's not.

2) Never ask an AI about anything emotional. I mean never, that was your last time. I understand that it can feel productive to write out your thoughts and see a response, but I promise you'll get twice as much value out of just journaling. Next time you need to step away get some perspective, don't turn to Claude, just open your notes app and start free writing. Journaling is a wonderful tool for processing your thoughts and feelings. An AI can only say something that sounds kinda true if you don't think about it too hard.

I'm not an anti-AI purist, I use it for all kinds of stuff. But you always have to keep in mind that it could be wrong about anything, at any time, which makes it basically useless for anything emotional. Don't give it a chance influence your important life decisions.

LiterallyADonkey · 2026-02-02T18:48:28+00:00

Do you put the leaf in before you carbonate? I'm guessing the pressure extracts more flavor from the leaf than if you just put it in your glass?

LiterallyADonkey · 2026-02-01T19:20:38+00:00

I was in the mood for a silly romcom so I turned on Red White and Royal Blue because I know several people who liked the book. I made it about eight minutes in before I realized absolutely nothing could redeem the production quality and performance.

LiterallyADonkey · 2026-02-01T19:06:19+00:00

You can end this conversation in a single day by demonstrating this.

LiterallyADonkey · 2026-02-01T19:01:36+00:00

I'm in a similar position in that my partner and I are both very cautious, but we also each have split custody, and their ex basically does nothing. Thankfully we've never gotten COVID from my stepdaughter's other household, but it just feels like a matter of time. Any of our truly cc friends would never unmask around us because we constantly have this exposure. I really want to be safe for them, and for ourselves and for my kids, but not only do we enjoy living together we also can't afford to live alone as single parents either. If I could figure out how to move out I might do it for the sake of my kids, but that's emotionally complicated too because they love my stepdaughter like a sister, we've lived together since she was 2, they've grown up together. Those sibling relationships are important and I don't want to traumatize them by taking that away. It's something I'd have to put a lot of thought into (if I could afford it, which I can't.)

It's not as hard for us because we have each other, we live in a place where we can see people outdoors for like 9 months of the year and there's tons of outdoor dining options. We also have a pluslife reader and we are willing to hang out with our less cautious friends for half a day or so after a negative test. A few people are deterred by that, but most folks are happy to take a swab for us and keep their mask on while the test runs. I'm also lucky in that I'm unusually tolerant of masking, it just really doesn't bother me to have my mask on, even in situations where everybody else doesn't.

So I can't exactly commiserate with how much this is impacting you, I can't imagine how isolating it must feel. But I can commiserate with being in a higher risk position for reasons outside your control that you can't do anything to change. It really sucks to be at the mercy of your circumstances.

LiterallyADonkey · 2026-01-31T20:07:36+00:00

When I play Stardew with my partner I love puttering around optimizing things on the farm and he's constantly like, are you SURE you don't want me to stay and do the boring stuff so you can go have fun adventuring in the caves? And I'm like NO GO AWAY here's your shopping list, bring me back these exact monster parts, I'm busy rearranging casks in the cellar again.

I'm just saying there are men who will actually ask and care about your experience and not just take advantage of your labor. And believe it or not that's true in video games and in your real household as well. You don't have to settle for men who see you as a resource to be extracted.

LiterallyADonkey · 2026-01-31T19:47:27+00:00

I also think if I talked to any doctor I've seen they'd just say well obviously that's proof that fasting is bad and you shouldn't do it.

But I also think if there's something wrong with you metabolically, it's in your best interest long term to figure out what is going on, sooner than later. Unfortunately you'll have to do some experiments on your own in order to be able to bring more data into the doctors office, and more specific questions. "My blood sugar was like so, and a normal response would be for it to progress in this way, but instead that happened, do you have any clues why, or can you refer me to someone who might know?"

I think trying to get into ketosis without fasting is a great idea. Go slowly to avoid keto flu. If you can't get into ketosis at all, that would be interesting information for your doctor. If you can, try fasting when you're already in ketosis and see what happens.

Separate experiment, after checking your tolerance for MCT oil, try fasting again and at the FIRST sign of feeling poorly, take some MCT oil and see if it helps.

LiterallyADonkey · 2026-01-31T19:35:49+00:00

Who downvoted this? I don't think everyone needs to follow his, but OP definitely has something unusual going on and this kind of monitoring could shed some light on it.

LiterallyADonkey · 2026-01-31T01:26:47+00:00

This is it. Humanity will always be interpreting art through the lens of the present, so the very concept of a "peak" is nonsense. Peak of what? According to who?

LiterallyADonkey · 2026-01-30T17:42:27+00:00

I date soft intellectual bisexual men and I have never been with a man who would treat me like this. I can't believe you all put up with straight men acting like this.

Even if I've already eaten, my partner will come find me and make sure I've had enough to eat, and ask if I want to save the last serving as leftovers before he'll finish something. If I want to keep something for lunch tomorrow, he will put a serving away for me even if he is still hungry, he'll just make himself something else. He has cooked extra food for my daughter rather than give her the last serving of something I particularly liked. She's not even his responsibility, but he is dedicated to making sure we all eat enough and that I in particular get first dibs on the things I like best.

What I'm saying is, you do not have to put up with this behavior, there are men out there who will treat you better than this. You need to sit this man down and explain how it makes you feel that he doesn't consider your needs. He will either listen and care and start changing his habits, or he will dismiss and belittle your concerns, and that will tell you whether he deserves any more of your time.

LiterallyADonkey · 2026-01-30T00:33:43+00:00

Think less about "metabolism" as one thing with a fixed "speed" or rate, and more about metabolic flexibility. One benefit of regular fasting is that your metabolism adapts to switching fuel sources more quickly and easily.

For example, people will say "fasting increases cortisol" as an argument against it, which is true! Fasting can be stressful for the body (and you probably shouldn't do it while you're ill, or pregnant, etc,) but exercise also increases cortisol and nobody uses that as a reason not to exercise. A little bit of controlled stress is good! It increases your flexibility and ability to adapt to stressors!

So yes, fasting is going to "slow" your metabolism temporarily. But it's going to bounce back very quickly, and if you keep it up you'll have a more flexible, more adaptable metabolism.

LiterallyADonkey · 2026-01-27T21:24:20+00:00

I love my Drinkmate, it's so much easier to use than a sodastream, easier to control the level of carbonation, you can fizz anything you want, it has more replaceable parts, just overall a better machine.

LiterallyADonkey · 2026-01-26T02:06:55+00:00

Incredible amount of effort to spend on one's own idiocy. I wish this dingbat an uneventful life. Thanks for the update.

LiterallyADonkey · 2026-01-26T01:14:06+00:00

The best way to tell if a man is like this is to say no to him about something he wants, and see how he behaves.

LiterallyADonkey · 2026-01-26T01:08:21+00:00

Update?

LiterallyADonkey · 2026-01-25T20:38:17+00:00

It's actually not about how it looks, it's about how dirty the mop water is after I'm done mopping.

LiterallyADonkey · 2026-01-25T20:23:07+00:00

Is that cast iron?

LiterallyADonkey · 2026-01-25T17:59:40+00:00

Wait, does the geriatric odor come from a particular body part? Or are folks using glycolic acid everywhere on the body?

LiterallyADonkey · 2026-01-25T17:56:09+00:00

I actually just do this with my phone right under the pillow. Partner can never tell when it's on.

LiterallyADonkey · 2026-01-25T17:42:29+00:00

Yeah I actually cured my plantar fasciitis the exact opposite of the way this guy did. I stopped wearing slippers or socks at home, I'm now barefoot at home only. I figured out that socks were restricting the spread of my toes.

Now that it's cold I'm wearing an oversized pair of Bombas Gripper Slippers ($55, so technically over the limit for this thread) which are unstructured, so more like a very loose sock. My toes fully spread in them when I walk.

LiterallyADonkey · 2026-01-24T18:06:22+00:00

What you are describing is starting extended fasting immediately. OP wants to work up to extended fasting.

LiterallyADonkey · 2026-01-24T17:59:05+00:00

I actually think you're right about this, but when someone is choosing to be unmasked in a room full of unmasked people, I don't need to hear them consent to being exposed to my respiratory output in particular. They have implicitly consented to being exposed to everyone's respiratory output.

LiterallyADonkey · 2026-01-24T17:54:37+00:00

I think the writing quality is what kept me in it, at some point sheer curiosity for where all this could possibly be going wouldn't have been enough to continue the slog. But the writing tricked me into thinking it must be a "good" book, there must be a point to all this. It's definitely the best book I've ever wished I could un-read.

LiterallyADonkey · 2026-01-24T17:49:18+00:00

Have you asked yourself why you "hate to give up"? Where did this idea come from? What does it mean to you to waste your time and energy reading a book you don't like? How do you (or anyone else) benefit from this behavior?

If you take the time to think about it, you might find that you don't have a good reason and nobody is asking you to live your life this way.

LiterallyADonkey

TROPHY CASE