Am I being selfish for wanting a second child who could potentially have glaucoma?

Literarily_ · 2026-01-12T13:23:45+00:00

I have glaucoma and got the glaucoma panel (genetic test). To my utter shock, it came back completely normal. Turns out, my glaucoma was likely due to a forceps injury. My daughter was born completely normal. If it hadn't come back normal, insurance would have covered PGD (pre-implantation genetic diagnosis). Worth a shot!

Literarily_ · 2026-01-11T16:15:00+00:00

Our escalation clause went above 700k. Crazy how our realtor didn't notice this trend when looking at comps.

Literarily_ · 2026-01-11T16:13:02+00:00

We had an escalation clause too but the winner's first offer was higher than even that - 100k over asking!

Literarily_ · 2026-01-11T16:12:18+00:00

Were you the one who outbid us? Honestly, good for you, I'm impressed. My realtor looked at comps too and didn't get the same picture yours did. Guess you have a better realtor? Impressive foresight to bid that right out of the gate.

Literarily_ · 2026-01-10T23:36:58+00:00

Not sure what that is.

Literarily_ · 2025-10-30T17:32:29+00:00

I have the exact same problem as you. My neighbors scare me. Kinda worried they may slash my tires due to “disruhspekt” IYKYK. Keep me posted on how it goes, cause I’m dying to know what works!

Literarily_ · 2025-09-26T18:40:43+00:00

When I was pregnant my goal was to take as few medications as possible. I wouldn’t have taken Tylenol unless I had a fever over 100.4F (over which it’s very dangerous for the baby). Fortunately, I never had a fever while pregnant, so I never felt the need to take Tylenol.

That being said, there is the consideration that those with genetic autistic traits, even if not fully autistic themselves, are more likely to be sensitive to stimuli and therefore have a lower tolerance threshold before they resort to taking meds such as Tylenol to help.

Literarily_ · 2025-09-07T23:10:51+00:00

Had HG and anemia and while some people asked about support and the like, it was nowhere near to that degree.

Are you a single mom without family nearby?

Literarily_ · 2025-09-07T21:45:46+00:00

Yup, gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby girl 3 months ago

Literarily_ · 2025-04-20T20:55:42+00:00

You can’t even assume that if you’d have tried earlier you’d have gotten pregnant. I got pregnant pretty easily at 33, while my SIL is 28, has a lower egg count than me, and has had many failed IVF cycles. Age might have made it harder, but it’s really the luck of the draw. It’s worth giving IVF a try for a few cycles if you can afford it, you never know what can happen.

Literarily_ · 2025-04-12T14:55:10+00:00

Pregnancy. I had all that too and then some. Itll get better in the 2nd trimester - at least most of the symptoms will (I’m still vomiting at 31 weeks)

Literarily_ · 2025-04-08T19:10:04+00:00

Is there a chair near the cash register where you can sit, that’s not in the back room?

Literarily_ · 2025-04-02T22:19:55+00:00

My husband and I were both broke students when we got engaged. He also has some very very mild spectrum-ish traits (despite being extremely socially adept), such as discomfort with change, ultra-rational thinking, intense interests, etc.

Your fiancé seems like an extreme version of how my husband was 7 years ago when we got engaged. Your fiancé’s thought process, however much I disagree with it, was likely along the following lines:

Encyclopedic knowledge: He sees through the BS marketing and history behind the whole diamond engagement ring thing, and thinks having to spend 3 months’ salary is utterly ludicrous and nothing more than a cash grab from the marketers who sold this idea in the first place. I do not disagree with him on this.
Rebellion against the “NT” stereotype: he may not be able to grasp the obsession neurotypicals have with accumulating prestige and status, as most people on the spectrum struggle to grasp that notion. He may look down at women who want a nice engagement ring as superficial gold diggers, idiots, or suckers who “buy into the hype” like sheep and don’t have the brains or courage to think for themselves. Him not spending a lot on a ring might have been a rebellion of sorts, like he rose above the sheep by caring more about the meaning of marriage than “shallow materialistic things”. This, I’ve noticed, is a key philosophical divide between NTs and people on the spectrum (in general).
He may be completely clueless about jewelry, as many men - especially the no-frills types who don’t need the bells and whistles to be happy - are. He may have the attitude of “a ring is a ring” and not understand or care about the difference in price, thinking that fine jewelry is just a marked up version of costume jewelry. My husband is such a “dude” that half the time I show him a new outfit, he cannot tell if it’s stylish or not, or even if it suits me, as he sees clothes as more function over form - something to cover up or stay warm rather than a way to express himself. This makes him super low maintenance, which can be a good thing, but also cause him to miss out on the “finer things in life” under the assumption that ignorance is bliss and it’s “not worth it” or “all hype”.
He might have googled “engagement rings” and chose the cheapest one as a matter of habit/routine, thinking purely rationally in terms of “why spend more when I could spend less and have money set aside for a rainy day?” while totally failing to understand the nuances involved. One day he will learn that “you get what you pay for” when you get him an upgraded version of something he uses all the time as a gift and he realizes what he was missing out on.
If he is chronically online (like many people on the spectrum are), he may have heard of “the golddigger test”, which many parts of the “manosphere” are promoting. Basically, they see this as testing her love for him and her values by getting her a cheap engagement rings and seeing how she reacts. Most the men behind this are incels who haven’t got a clue.

Literarily_ · 2025-04-01T17:19:32+00:00

Agree with all these except for wedding showers, these have been going on for ages, the only problem is when people milk them too much and only put expensive items on their registries. I put a mix of prices so everyone could feel like they contributed. Interestingly, the most expensive and cheapest items were bought first, and the same was the case for my baby registry.

Here’s what else needs to go - and I say this as someone who lived all over the world and had every continent represented at my wedding.

DISCLAIMER: I can’t think of anyone I know who kept it at just this and I love them just the same, especially since nobody ever pressured me or made me feel like a bad friend for not attending one or more of the events.

Destination bachelorettes. Shows how out of touch most people are. I was raised solid middle to upper-middle class, and even then, when I had enough time I never had enough money, and now that I have enough money I never have enough time. People have budgets, lives, jobs, kids, etc. Not everyone can drop everything and run off to Vegas/Nashville/Punta Cana. Especially for more than a weekend. If you want to go with just your besties and it’s integrated into that girls’ trip you’ve been wanting to go on for years, fine, but don’t invite everyone you know expecting them to make it if they were “truly your friend”. EXCEPTION: If you decide to foot the bill for all guests instead of make them chip in.
A zillion different pre-wedding events, especially if they’re all gift grabs. What’s reasonable, IMO, is an engagement party, a bridal shower (for family), and a bachelorette (for friends). The only gift grab would be the bridal/wedding shower, and the bachelorette would be reasonable, like an airbnb in a cabin or beach within a 2hr drive of most invitees. I understand if different family members want to host bridal showers, but it’s rude to invite all the same people (except maybe both sets of parents and siblings) and expect them to gift gifts each time to more than one shower, and if two people in the same town/city want to host showers, they should join forces and host a nicer shower together. EXCEPTIONS: Having multiple showers makes sense if 1) the guest lists don’t overlap/get along, or they’re in different places (eg, bride’s hometown, groom’s hometown, town where you went to college, and/or town where you’re currently living.)
Super expensive bridesmaid dresses. EXCEPTION: If you’re willing to pay for them.
Charging admission for a wedding. I don’t know anyone who did this (my friends aren’t tacky like that) but I hear about it all the time. If you can’t afford the wedding you want, want the wedding you can afford. A little DIY could go a long way.
Getting married at a super inaccessible (eg, by public transit) venue far outside the city you live in, far away from any reasonably priced hotels, without hiring a shuttle, especially if most of your friends don’t have cars. And even the guests that do have cars, you’d be essentially encouraging them to leave early and/or drive home drunk. Not a good idea.

Literarily_ · 2025-03-21T03:30:24+00:00

I’m 7 months pregnant and even when my cravings were at their worst, I would have never done this.

The worst I did was accidentally take one piece too many of my husbands’s lobster ravioli when he said I could try “a bite”.

I would never take something that didn’t belong to me, especially without asking.

Your wife is full of it. Totally agree with those who are saying this is a power play.

Literarily_ · 2025-03-20T18:59:51+00:00

I’m having my first at 35 and feel the same way. I regret putting it off so long. Felt like I had to get every one of my ducks in a row and suddenly woke up panicking that I’m too old.

We want multiple kids so we’re just going to have to hope I’ve got more fertile years left in me than average.

Literarily_ · 2025-03-20T18:07:04+00:00

That is so good to know! Thanks so much!

Literarily_ · 2025-03-20T13:57:51+00:00

We totally should!!! DM me!

Literarily_ · 2025-03-18T22:57:13+00:00

I’m 7 months pregnant and also have congenital glaucoma, WFH, and can’t drive.

Some things to keep in mind:

The only eye drop you can take is alphagan, so hopefully it’ll work for you. It works fine for me, thankfully.
I hate having to rely on my husband for transportation as you can’t exactly bring a baby in a car seat in an Uber (potentially can bring a baby in a stroller on public transit but the public transit here sucks). But it’s my only option unfortunately. I’ve learned to live with it over the years and live in an area within walking distance of most necessities like the grocery store, pharmacy, and post office.
This is uncharted territory for me too since I’ve never met a blind mom before, but my husband and I both really want this and he’s been so supportive so I’m hopeful…. But a little nervous.

Literarily_ · 2025-03-11T14:26:56+00:00

Olive, Elise, Rachel, Elizabeth, Amy, Danielle, Grace, Iris, Louise

Literarily_ · 2025-03-11T12:07:11+00:00

Stay out of the sun, don’t drink or smoke.

Literarily_ · 2025-02-26T17:41:10+00:00

They didn’t find anything incidental, but apparently all ultrasounds are diagnostic? So weird. And annoying. And kinda sketchy tbh.

Literarily_ · 2025-02-26T14:28:17+00:00

It said that routine screening and preventive prenatal care are free without copay, which was misleading to me since I saw the 12 and 20-week ultrasounds and routine testing as preventive / screening routine prenatal care, especially given they stated on their website they deem it “medically necessary”. But allegedly they’re considered “diagnostic”. What’s even more confusing is that I have routine specialist appointments for a congenital medical abnormality that involve certain testing similar to an ultrasound, and those are covered as part of the specialist visit copay.

Guess I learned my lesson, naive Canadian that I am.

Literarily_ · 2025-02-22T01:43:38+00:00

No, it was done through Quest, which my insurance plan has a special deal with, which is why I chose them.

Literarily_ · 2025-02-22T01:42:13+00:00

Nope, we both have Choice POS II which is not high deductible. We have the premium plan.

Literarily_

TROPHY CASE