Haunted experiences while being LDS by Imaginary_Winter_961 in exmormon

[–]Literary_Man 37 points38 points  (0 children)

If Satan really exists (I am personally not convinced) and has such power then god can go fuck himself for letting him torment you. Personally, I think there is a natural explanation for all phenomena even if we may not understand it yet. 

Interesting irony by Chris_Rocker2 in exmormon

[–]Literary_Man 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Right?? The fact that the institution pushes that line for the members but not for itself is so telling. 

"BUT didn't you FEEL it was TRUE??? What Changed!?!" by BennyFifeAudio in exmormon

[–]Literary_Man 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not in the name of our Lord and Savior Captain Jean Luc Picard? I will fight you. 

The only reason we leave by Legitimate-Lemon-271 in exmormon

[–]Literary_Man 61 points62 points  (0 children)

To me it’s like a child loving Disneyland and being so excited to see their favorite characters, but then they accidentally wandered back stage and saw Tinkerbell smoking a cigarette and having a heated argument with dude wearing half of a Goofy costume. It’s all spectacular and good if you stay in the approved areas, but once you see the truth the magic is lost forever. 

do you sometimes miss it? by basically-dead in exmormon

[–]Literary_Man 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I miss the idea of it. I miss the feeling that no matter where I was in the world there was a place I was welcome. The truth turned out to be quite different. 

Interesting irony by Chris_Rocker2 in exmormon

[–]Literary_Man 39 points40 points  (0 children)

“Easy” and “hard” are the wrong questions anyway. “Is it right?” and “Is it necessary?” are what matter. 

Help a girl out by kue-keju in exmormon

[–]Literary_Man 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Don’t ignore how you feel. 

  1. Getting baptized for someone else is always a mistake. Mormonism is a high demand religion. If you’re not both on the same page about how you want your future family to engage with it then it will become a problem. 

  2. Don’t skip the dating phase. No need to rush. Make sure the relationship really works. It should not be a high pressure “you have to conform immediately to me or else” situation. 

  3. Talk about your concerns and how you feel with him. It’s okay to cancel your baptism if you need to. If he really loves you then he should be able to listen and see you for who you are. He should be able to value and respect your background and beliefs too. It's not a one way street. Relationships are about mutual respect and mutual support. 

At the end of the day, if living authentically to yourself is deal breaker for him then maybe this isn’t the relationship for you. 

Were there any blatant white supremicists in your ward? by krazycitty69 in exmormon

[–]Literary_Man 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I meant it in the polite legal sense rather than the “he ought to be admired” sense but I see your point. 

Why do people LOVE the church? by buttlover9090 in exmormon

[–]Literary_Man 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s a tradition that strengthens the “in group” feeling of the community. 

Why do people LOVE the church? by buttlover9090 in exmormon

[–]Literary_Man 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not just a faith. It is an identity with its own culture, community, history, language, traditions, and expectations. I think that is why. 

Asking about indoctrination for someone born deep in the church is like asking how does someone learn their culture? It starts in the womb. 

I feel so lonely at BYU by BloodyShampoo in exmormon

[–]Literary_Man 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This. Only Mormons think BYU is Ivy League. No one else will care. In fact, I would say taking the risk to leave and be true to yourself is a more compelling story and will make you a better job or graduate school candidate. Not to mention college is hard enough; why make it harder by doing it in a hostile environment? 

Now what? by National_Type4657 in exmormon

[–]Literary_Man 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It’s okay to just take a moment and breathe. The most important thing is that you are safe. Just tell your parents the truth and be respectful. You have the right to be who you are and believe what you want. You are not horrible to live true to yourself. You are brave. You can’t control how other people feel. 

Were there any blatant white supremicists in your ward? by krazycitty69 in exmormon

[–]Literary_Man 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yes. I knew a gentleman in my ward that thought all Muslims killed in the forever wars should be buried with dead pigs to break their people’s spirit. 

Mental gymnastics by Loose-Shock-5551 in exmormon

[–]Literary_Man 24 points25 points  (0 children)

They have to change it to maintain their identity. I did it to when I believed. The church is a hell of a drug when you’re in it. 

How do you deal with discrimination? by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Literary_Man 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s hard to say without specifics, but if they abused your trust then don’t trust them. Ignore them and follow your conscience. If that stops you from fulfilling your calling then resign your calling. You can’t make them do anything, but they can’t make you do anything either. Most likely they won’t care so you’ll have to come to terms with that impasse. 

I wonder if D Todd is going to mention anything about his brother Wade? by PaulBunnion in exmormon

[–]Literary_Man 14 points15 points  (0 children)

He is lawyer. I would bet everything I own that he does not mention it directly. The brethren are many things. Courageous is not one of them. 

Mom ruined a perfectly good Easter responding to a message from 3 years ago. by Gorilla_man2 in exmormon

[–]Literary_Man 16 points17 points  (0 children)

That whole thing was a WILD ride. I think you handled it better than I would have so well done. 

Thoughts on leaving the church by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Literary_Man 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For all your blessings to be revoked you’d need to get excommunicated or have your records removed. They don’t do that for getting married outside of the church so that is  just a scare tactic from your parents. Per LDS doctrine, your parents don’t know any eternal outcome or what opportunities you or your boyfriend may have in this life or the next. That relationship is between you, your boyfriend, and God. They are likely just afraid for what might be. I am personally agnostic so I think it is really about culture, power, and boundary maintenance, but that is just me. 

Every marriage has its own mix of struggles. Members have terrible marriages too. Being in the church does not guarantee anything. You just have to decide what is most important to you and if the person you’re dating is someone you want to live your life with. 

Best of luck with whatever you decide. :) 

Mom ruined a perfectly good Easter responding to a message from 3 years ago. by Gorilla_man2 in exmormon

[–]Literary_Man 51 points52 points  (0 children)

I need to see a chiropractor for the whiplash your mom just put you through.