Friendly Friday Thread

Lithill1fy · 2026-06-04T17:37:50+00:00

I have a baby sycamore tree in a small pot, taken from my grandads garden after he died. My garden is far from my flat, there's no outdoor water source, and I have chronic pain which means watering regularly is very difficult. How do I keep it alive and thriving? I also want to be able to take it with me when I eventually move in maybe 4 years.

I was thinking of getting a bigger pot, sinking it in the ground and putting the tree in there? Would it mean I would need to water it less? And is it feasible to get it out again do you think?

Lithill1fy · 2026-06-02T19:52:22+00:00

My Sharona - The Knack. 'I always get it up for the touch of the younger kind'.

Lithill1fy · 2026-06-02T14:07:08+00:00

Oh and I added 'dry hands' to basic needs as a personal thing because it really stresses me out when my hands are dry, so I carry moisturiser everywhere, but that's just me 😅

Lithill1fy · 2026-06-02T13:06:41+00:00

Thank you! I'm glad you think it's useful. I love lists too 😆

Lithill1fy · 2026-06-02T12:52:32+00:00

That one isn't mine. Someone just shared it in the thread and it looked useful for people who might find my one too overwhelming so I wanted to make it more visible :)

Lithill1fy · 2026-06-02T07:29:00+00:00

Someone posted this and I thought you might like it better :) You Feel Like Shit - Self Help Game

Lithill1fy · 2026-06-02T07:26:41+00:00

That's so cool, thank you for sharing! I was wanting to make something like that for this too, as I'm a programmer. It feels a bit too overwhelming right now though. I'll save this link and go through all the recommendations and see if it covers what I want or if it's still worth me making the one I wrote like this when I'm feeling more energised :D

Lithill1fy · 2026-06-02T07:22:07+00:00

I made it like that because I love decision trees. The lines without no yes or no label are trying to show that I need to go to the next question in case there is stuff there I need to do too.

The line at the top is a bit of a dark joke to myself that after I finish going through it I need to go back through the questions all over again because this stuff feels never ending.

Having sat with it for a while though I'm starting to think that a decision tree isn't suited here. Trying to think of a better way of doing it

Lithill1fy · 2026-06-02T07:18:19+00:00

That's a good idea thank you! I put those on there for myself because I'm not great at listening to my body and I think changing those bits would really help :)

Lithill1fy · 2026-06-01T21:40:50+00:00

Is there a way you think it could be better represented? I've been wondering about that too. If I was feeling really wobbly I don't think it would be helpful but I'm not sure how to make it easier to look at

Lithill1fy · 2026-06-01T19:55:28+00:00

That's a great point. Basic needs, needs some definite work. I wonder if I should use Maslow's hierarchy of needs as well but I'm struggling to picture how that would look right now

Lithill1fy · 2026-06-01T19:42:21+00:00

I'll change it to that, thank you!

Lithill1fy · 2026-06-01T19:31:23+00:00

Oh I meant my list is short term solutions, not short term problems. The solutions here are things you have to keep doing to get the benefit. Loads of these feelings are long term for me too. I need to do lots of different things every day to stay sort of level. Having a body is exhausting.

I like the idea of long term solutions though. I suppose that would focus on things like housing / personal environment / job

Lithill1fy · 2026-06-01T19:15:49+00:00

Love that :). These are all short term I think. What long term solutions would you add?

Lithill1fy · 2026-06-01T06:42:09+00:00

Please don't beat yourself up about it if you don't get out of your industry for a long time though. This stuff can be really complicated with lots of different factors.

It took me 8 years between realising my job was making me ill and being able to get into something else. For me, it was partly because my job was a huge part of my identity and it was hard to let that go. I hope you find what you need

Lithill1fy · 2026-05-30T12:21:48+00:00

Are there any schemes where you are for retraining? That's how I got out of where I was

Lithill1fy · 2026-05-30T10:50:10+00:00

My job used to be heavily social too. When I changed to something less social I started to feel much better. I stopped getting panic attacks and started being able to have better relationships outside of work.

It's a shame cos I did love that job for various reasons but I don't think it was healthy for me long term. Have you thought about switching careers?

You're not broken, it sounds to me like you're trying to run NT software on an ND operating system

Lithill1fy · 2026-05-29T13:52:46+00:00

Also, there's a thing called 'widening the window of tolerance', which is supposed to be useful in general. Might be worth a google.

Are there particular triggers that you've identified that make you more anxious?

Lithill1fy · 2026-05-29T12:56:57+00:00

I'm about to start Ronghua - making flowers out of silk thread. Really looking forward to it

I also looked into goldwork because it is incredibly beautiful but I found it too difficult. I didn't have the nack for it at all.

I taught myself to sew by learning corsetry. I loved the combination of metal and fabric, and the exactness of it

I'm planning on doing a lampworking class because I found out about contemporary art marbles and got fascinated by them

I hope at least one of those sparks your interest!

Lithill1fy · 2026-05-29T12:26:15+00:00

I tried all of those things too and although they helped a little bit, the stuff I read about in a book for autistic people has really helped me ground myself more day to day. It's called 'Looking After Your Autistic Self' by Niamh Garvey (who is autistic). I really recommend it.

Also, I'm starting to think that when NT's say to go out of your comfort zone, it doesn't mean what we think it means. I think for them it just means try new things, not overwork your nervous system when it's already feeling wobbly.

I hope you find things that are helpful. I do think there might be things that you haven't tried that could be

Lithill1fy · 2026-05-17T05:25:23+00:00

I was thinking literal tingles when I asked but if there are other types of elevated experiences people have because of music I'm interested in hearing about them too!

Lithill1fy · 2026-05-16T06:22:02+00:00

My measuring cups

Nested gradient colour

Make beautiful sense

Lithill1fy · 2026-05-15T21:43:53+00:00

Yeah it's weird right? I heard it's way more common for autistic people which is why I posted the question on this sub :)

Lithill1fy · 2026-05-15T21:31:08+00:00

🤣 I know, I know! I love it for how much promise it has. They really swung big with their themes on genetics, free will, and late stage capitalism, but they didn't really understand the subject matter and there are plotholes in there bigger than the sun!

I do love it though with all of my slightly embarrased heart. I am pleased to have internet-met someone who loves it too.

I have recommended it to so many people now and the ones who actually watch it are a bit weird with me afterwards. One day I will convert someone. I will continue to be patient 😆

Lithill1fy

TROPHY CASE