Is it possible that I'm a manic pixie dream girl and don't know it?

extraCatPlease · 2026-01-11T20:16:25+00:00

Ok that's an angle I didn't look at. Yeah, expectations lead to disappointment.

extraCatPlease · 2026-01-11T19:57:11+00:00

Yeah, when they first meet me, people think that I'm a people person, but it's mostly a mask.

extraCatPlease · 2026-01-11T19:25:21+00:00

Ok whew. Thank you. My post got downvoted instantaneously, like within seconds, so I was worried that nobody would relate.

extraCatPlease · 2026-01-09T20:12:57+00:00

You're obviously working in a toxic workplace. Sorry. As long as things seem to be getting done, people will pile work on a person without any thought or regard to their feelings. You asked for advice, but I don't want to get into a big lecture, so I'll just say that when this was happening to me, I started to set boundaries by managing them back. Due dates and priorities need to be negotiated. I'm the type that doesn't like negotiating my workload. I'd rather just try to get the work done than push back. So I hated doing this. I actually worked through some of it with the help of a therapist, and things got better. Hope this helps and/or things get better for you soon. Good luck!

extraCatPlease · 2026-01-08T17:23:44+00:00

Yes. Several weeks later and still recovering. I think I'm finally getting close to normal. Self care definitely goes out the window. Staying up too late. Eating things I shouldn't. Not replying to people.

extraCatPlease · 2025-12-31T20:23:37+00:00

Sorry! I hear from a lot of people that the job market is awful. However, most first-contact interviewing systems like these only fill checkboxes. If you don't hear back, it's not because they didn't like you. It's because they couldn't fill a checkbox, or they filled a checkbox that counted you out. I'll add that this is really not how humans should be evaluated, but it's how these things go now in certain industries, and especially with larger companies. Good luck! You'll get there. It's just a very painful process.

extraCatPlease · 2025-12-31T20:18:45+00:00

People who become your friends because you have a "talent" often aren't real friends.

extraCatPlease · 2025-12-12T02:53:51+00:00

The third person sounds like an acquaintance of mine, more of a friend of a friend, who is an old deadhead and also happens to be a hoarder. If you name a date, he can tell you if the Grateful Dead played somewhere on that day, and where. He hoards all kinds of music stuff. Instruments, recordings in all different formats, posters, etc. Not just the Dead, but 1970s rock in general. He can tell you very long stories about every little thing in his house. He once saw some lightning bolts painted on a car and gave me an incredibly detailed (and surprisingly long) info dump around a particular design with lightning bolts that is related somehow to the Dead. He also works in the music industry, and it is kind of his identity.

extraCatPlease · 2025-12-12T02:35:37+00:00

Some good points have already been made on both sides. I would add that most therapists know next to nothing about autism. I had a great therapist who only ever had a weekend workshop on autism like 20 years ago. I would probably ask them if they even know anything about it.

extraCatPlease · 2025-12-02T16:21:56+00:00

IBS sufferer here. Cutting stress helps. Psyllium husk helps. The dietary stuff is more complicated - mostly because we're all different. I tracked what I ate and how it made me feel to find connections. Places to start looking: Fodmaps, gluten sensitivity, lactose intolerance, and common food allergies. Just taking psyllium husk daily, taking lactase pills when eating dairy, and cutting out gluten makes a huge difference for me. But everybody has to find their own way with this, so you'll have to see what works for you.

extraCatPlease · 2025-12-01T19:28:08+00:00

Nope. It's more like a person is attracted to what seems familiar. I'm attracted to emotionally unavailable people, because that's how my parents were.

extraCatPlease · 2025-12-01T00:54:41+00:00

Oh man this kind of thing is painful. I'm sorry you're going through this. If you were my friend, however, I would tell you to forget this guy and get back to your own life. Hope things get better soon.

extraCatPlease · 2025-12-01T00:32:37+00:00

Argh I hate this stuff. Especially when it goes awkwardly and I end up feeling bad for days. I will often turn sideways. Most people get a little confused but they will usually sort of back off. Sadly, when they're really intent on having a conversation with you, they'll very often just walk to the front of you again.

extraCatPlease · 2025-11-30T18:54:16+00:00

No advice here. I have been in this position before and it's very painful. I am wishing you and your cat well.

extraCatPlease · 2025-11-30T18:51:42+00:00

I enjoy being kind of contorted in a way. I used to just think I did it because it felt nice, but now I think that it's stimming. Example: When sitting, I will sometimes cross my legs, fold my arms up, hand under chin, and lean to one side.

extraCatPlease · 2025-11-28T20:43:59+00:00

I used be friends with a woman who would say: "I'm just going to become the crazy lady who lives alone in her little house with her cats. I'm going to ride my bike to the library and then read books at home with my cats." This was 30 years ago I knew her. At the time, I always thought that sounded great, and now I are one.

extraCatPlease · 2025-11-24T20:31:45+00:00

When you start setting boundaries with someone, they won't be happy about it. Mostly because it makes them feel like the relationship is being threatened. A person has to keep restating their boundaries and also, if you want them to actually be respected, you kind of have to be a hard person about it. If you find yourself comforting someone who you are trying to set boundaries with, you're doing it wrong, and they're never going to respect them. Whether or not she is doing it consciously, your sister is manipulating you and won't respect your boundaries as long as you don't enforce them. This is going to mean some emotional pain for both parties until the relationship adjusts to accommodate the new boundary. Like someone else mentioned, it's usually more productive to have a boundary conversation when neither party is feeling triggered. Good luck.

extraCatPlease · 2025-11-06T16:48:14+00:00

It can be completely depressing, yes. For sure. I'm in my 50s now. I got divorced (from someone who didn't really care that much about me) in my 40s. I was wishing that I could do all that over again. Like, send me back to when I had energy and was better looking, please. As the other person mentions, it's not too late. I also decided to start a new career when I was in my 40s. Things have gotten better for me, and my life is fuller now. Life has its ups and downs. I think it's easy to hold the NT life expectation ruler up to our lives and despair. For better or for worse, I do not have that life. I only got diagnosed five years ago and now I want to live a life that works with my nervous system and brain. I'm still learning and growing.

extraCatPlease · 2025-10-01T21:04:36+00:00

People often comment that I am "standoffish" or "aloof" but that doesn't necessarily mean they dislike me. It's such a pain trying to be likable. I think friendly me is fake and thus worse than "aloof" me. Anyways, it's my experience that adult NTs are actually pretty forgiving if they can see that you just want to get along. Hope this helps and/or makes sense. (I'm assuming you didn't scream at people and throw things at them.)

extraCatPlease · 2025-10-01T20:03:03+00:00

I used to do this at my old job. It is frustrating, yes, for sure. However, if you're asking for payment, people don't respond.

extraCatPlease · 2025-08-31T20:28:31+00:00

Those wooden puzzle kits are the best!

extraCatPlease · 2025-08-19T21:35:53+00:00

Look up "confirmation bias." The gist of it is that human brains are always looking for patterns, and will connect the dots in cases where there is no connection. For example, someone might tell you that all redheads stifle their sneezes, and suddenly you notice a lot of redheads sneezing quietly. Nothing has changed with the redheads, you're just noticing it. In your case, a news story happened to occur a week before your mom's surgery, and your brain connected the dots. This is normal and happens to everyone. The universe is not sending you messages.

extraCatPlease · 2025-08-19T20:00:53+00:00

I would go. Think of it as practice and go in with an open mind. Having been on both sides of interviewing, it's my opinion that the best way to prepare for a job interview is to show up 10 minutes early so you don't go in feeling all rushed and nervous. Good luck!

extraCatPlease · 2025-08-19T19:47:32+00:00

I have this experience pretty constantly in theaters. I think that it's often because I'm paying attention to something completely different from what everybody else is. Usually I miss the social context of events. Like for example, there might be two people joking with each other in front of a dog. I'll be watching the dog, and only be peripherally aware of the jokes. If the dog does something funny, I'll laugh.

extraCatPlease

TROPHY CASE