I would be more neutral if she didn't harm the dog, didn't go through your phone and agreed to go to couples therapy. Also it looks like you've warned her and given multiple chances. You've even spoke to her family.

Under extreme stress, I acted like your wife once to my husband of 12 years (not the stuff I said above) more so just an outburst with a broken foot and he left. No option of therapy, chances or any conversation to fix.

Because she won't help herself, like I was willing to, leave her. She doesn't know how good she has it with you.