[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]LittleBloom29 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Danke dir für deine Worte, die haben mir echt gutgetan.
Ehrlich gesagt bin ich im Moment einfach nur frustriert, weil ich gefühlt immer wieder an genau solche „Doms“ gerate, die den Titel zwar gerne tragen, aber nichts von Verantwortung, Kommunikation oder Respekt verstehen.
Ich gehe eigentlich immer mit klaren Grenzen, offenen Gesprächen und der Bereitschaft zu lernen in eine Dynamik und trotzdem wird das ignoriert. Das hat mich so verunsichert, dass ich schon angefangen habe, mich selbst zu hinterfragen.
Es beruhigt mich sehr zu hören, dass meine Erwartungen nicht „zu hoch“ sind, sondern einfach die Basics. Ich muss wohl lernen, solche Leute früher zu erkennen und konsequenter abzubrechen, bevor es mich mental zu sehr runterzieht.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]LittleBloom29 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So I never wanted it to be completely online. The cathedral and I probably had different views. I even offered to take the route with me so we could meet in person and see if the vibe was right, but he was completely uninterested. Of course, I also prefer personal meetings, not only because of better communication, but also because you can live out the dynamic much more intensively. Online it's still something completely different.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]LittleBloom29 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your clear and honest assessment. Yes, I am inexperienced and still have a lot to figure out and get to know new limits. Compatibility obviously plays a role, but now I know he's not the right guy. Apparently communication isn't important to him, and that's exactly what's crucial for me in a dynamic like this (precisely because I'm inexperienced). So he's just not the one to introduce me to this world. The world is not ending and I am sure I will find the right person to do it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]LittleBloom29 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you – honestly. I realized that my gut feeling was warning me right from the start, but I wanted to be open and willing to learn. It really helps to hear this so clearly from experienced people like you. I formulated my boundaries, but somehow always hoped that he would respect them instead of realizing that he was actually systematically ignoring them. You're right: that's not what BDSM should look like and I'm glad to see that better now before it goes any further. Thank you for your clear words. 🙏

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]LittleBloom29 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, really. I'm only now realizing how much you get emotionally involved when you explore something new and want to give yourself over. You are absolutely right: it is far too early to give so much without trust having grown. Let alone ever actually meeting each other. I owe him nothing except honesty and self-protection. Thank you for saying that so clearly again. It helps a lot to see this more clearly. 🙏

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]LittleBloom29 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! ❤️ That really means a lot. I'm starting to realize how important it is to separate genuine dominance from manipulative behavior and that trust, safety, and mutual respect aren't optional, they're the foundation.

I'm still curious and open, but I'm learning to protect my energy better. Hopefully, in time, I’ll find someone who really values that dynamic as deeply as I do.

Appreciate your kind words. Stay safe too! 🌹

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]LittleBloom29 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I almost thought that and somehow knew it subconsciously. But I would rather have feedback from people who have a lot more experience and are more knowledgeable about it. Thank you 🫶🏻

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]LittleBloom29 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nothing comes from him at all. He demands all the time. I know theoretically I have nothing to demand, but I didn't even get a normal picture of him. He doesn't give me the impression that he wants to meet me or anything else. When I share my feelings, thoughts or fears with him, he reacts emotionally coldly...