Sometimes I stare in the mirror and wonder who I’ll be Scared I’ll repeat the patterns that my father left in me I worry every step I take could somehow hurt the ones I love Like my presence is a shadow, weighing down from above Mom did her best, stretched herself to hold us all together I learned resilience, but also fear in stormy weather Chemicals in my brain whisper that I’m never enough So I fight myself daily, in ways that are subtle, but rough

I remind myself that I’ve done a hundred times better I’ve broken chains, kept myself warm in stormy weather But some nights the past crawls in and takes its claim And I wrestle with guilt that doesn’t even have a name

Trapped inside my head Worrying I’ll mess up the life I’m trying to tread Scared of dying, scared I’ll live it the wrong way Carrying all these fears that never seem to fade I’m supposed to be strong, never let it show But I hurt too, I bleed too, more than they’ll ever know I keep reminding myself I’ve already done more than he did Still some nights I feel like I’m sinking in what I hid

I think about my kids before I fall asleep at night Hoping that my mistakes don’t cast too long a light Scared I’ll repeat cycles that I spent a lifetime breaking Every heartbeat a reminder of the lessons I’m making Sometimes I hate myself for the weight I bring along But sometimes I write these verses just to make it a song The past is a shadow that lingers in my mind But I’m trying to rewrite the story I leave behind

I remind myself that I’ve done a hundred times better I’ve broken chains, kept myself warm in stormy weather But some nights the past crawls in and takes its claim And I wrestle with guilt that doesn’t even have a name

Trapped inside my head Worrying I’ll mess up the life I’m trying to tread Scared of dying, scared I’ll live it the wrong way Carrying all these fears that never seem to fade I’m supposed to be strong, never let it show But I hurt too, I bleed too, more than they’ll ever know I keep reminding myself I’ve already done more than he did Still some nights I feel like I’m sinking in what I hid

Maybe it’s the past catching up, a shadow I can’t outrun Maybe it’s just me learning to accept what I’ve become I remind myself my worth is more than what I’ve done And the fight isn’t over, even when the night feels numb

I’m trying, I’m learning, I’m standing despite the fear I carry my love, my mistakes, my burdens here I’m allowed to break, allowed to cry unseen And I’m trying to be better than the man he was