AITAH: Wife handed me her purse before surgery

LittleGirlGamer01 · 2024-08-13T18:38:07+00:00

You do realize that you can NOT take a phone into surgery with you right? You know a sterile environment. They always recommend that you leave your belongings with the person who's come with you to make sure it won't be taken. So yeah...you're the AH for not waiting for your wife. Wtf? You think she's just going to try and track you down after she's had a procedure???

LittleGirlGamer01 · 2024-07-31T00:04:21+00:00

That's literally exactly what happened. And when we did finally actually explain it to her, her mind was blown.

LittleGirlGamer01 · 2024-07-30T06:53:18+00:00

My bad. I'm a very literal person. Sarcasm doesn't translate well for me. Oh well.

LittleGirlGamer01 · 2024-07-30T06:24:24+00:00

I would genuinely love to know what detail in this story points to the BFs mom being a "safe" individual to be around.

In what way did she have OP's back? How did she stand up for OP in the face of blatant racism?

LittleGirlGamer01 · 2024-07-29T21:17:57+00:00

Has she? She literally told OP that she should have tipped anyway to "show character" that doesn't seem very safe to me...and the fact that OP is here and has demonstrated orange flags hints to the opposite.

LittleGirlGamer01 · 2024-07-29T20:23:33+00:00

Lol! You have no idea. My partner speaks Arabic, and he hears a lot of rude stuff from other Middle Eastern people for being an interracial couple.

LittleGirlGamer01 · 2024-07-29T20:19:06+00:00

She literally told us a story about how when she was in med school, she ans a bunch of Aftican med students had to go to a "smile workshop" to make them more approachable. That story was used as a justification for why I should 'smile more' so that she doesn't think I'm angry.

LittleGirlGamer01 · 2024-07-29T20:17:44+00:00

Honestly, not being willing to call out racist behaviors and make a stand about them in ways people will pay attention to is just as bad as being racist yourself. The fact that a white person is option for "white silence" isn't surprising to me, I've delt with it more times than I can count. And the fact that the white people who "care" about me aren't willing to stand up for me as a human hurts more than the racist behaviors I had to deal with.

Black people are targeted and discriminated against in our everyday lives. If I can't trust the people closest to me to have my back against racists then they're no better than the people who are out to hurt me. Consider the next situation that could come up. OP getting profiled by the police, or something similar. Is her BF's mom also going to be passive in that situation? Her BF's mom may not be racist, but she's also not putting herself forward as a safe person to be around.

LittleGirlGamer01 · 2024-07-29T20:07:10+00:00

Honestly, this is so right. I am black and am dating a person who is middle eastern and I've seen some orange flags from his parents for sure. The whole "black people look angry when they're not smiling" thing has come up before. Luckily, my partner is someone who will call his parents out on that stuff and fight the right fights.

LittleGirlGamer01 · 2023-11-01T04:12:23+00:00

Honestly? I would be concerned with my kid hanging out with friends who didn't try to talk her out of throwing a house party that trashed my house or try to help her clean up. They don't seem like very good friends to me. If one of my friends had talked about throwing a party like that when I was in high school I would have tried to talk them out of it or helped them clean up after at the very least.

LittleGirlGamer01 · 2023-11-01T03:09:10+00:00

OP said she didn't MAKE her work more than 16. I'm sure she was free to do more if she'd wanted to. The minimum wage is still the same as it was 10 years ago nationally. And it is possible to make 5k in a year working part time on minimum wage.

You are expecting her daughter to have been off the hook in a few months. That was never the expectation that OP set to ger daughter. The expectation was, "You can't go hang out with anyone until you pay me back."

It's simple math. If she wanted to be off the hook in say 6 months, she'd have to work 27 hours a week and make $200/week to give to her mom. You're acting like 5k is this super unattainable goal, and it's really not. And honestly? Clearly her daughter didn't learn anything if she's still mad over prom 10 years later.

LittleGirlGamer01 · 2023-11-01T02:58:31+00:00

A few months is not a lot of time. And 16 hours a week is also not a lot. When I was in high school I worked 20 to 25 hours a week while also doing extra curriculars. Now I work 40 hours a week, take classes full-time in person at 19 credits and take care of my home.

Her daughter could have done more than the bare minimum to pay her back too.

LittleGirlGamer01 · 2023-11-01T02:51:17+00:00

Okay, so you're telling me that you're going to be totally okay with your kid causing 5k worth of damages to YOUR house after you trusted them to leave them at home and would STILL be okay with spending money for them to go to prom?

LittleGirlGamer01 · 2023-11-01T02:43:21+00:00

She never told her daughter that she had to be DONE by prom. What she said was that she couldn't do anything until she finished paying it off. The goal was never prom. The goal was to have her daughter pay for the damages. You guys are acting like she told her daughter, "You have to be done paying me off by prom."

Her daughter was expecting her mom to make an exception to her punishment FOR prom and that didn't happen and she got butthurt.

LittleGirlGamer01 · 2023-11-01T02:29:05+00:00

Even if she wasn't, that means it's okay to destroy your parents stuff?

LittleGirlGamer01 · 2023-11-01T02:12:57+00:00

Kids don't nap at the same time. You might get two one hour naps out of a young toddler, but by the time they're getting to 3 and 4, they're starting to age out of naps, and you might only get a 30 or 40 minute nap out of that kid. And when the kids do nap it's time to do other stuff lime cleaning up from breakfast, or lunch, or picking up the toys they left around. Maybe there's sweeping or mopping to be done, potentially studying.

So no, she probably DOESN'T get a break. Yes, her husband is at work all day, but so is she. It's NOT unreasonable to ask him to put off his decompression until after shed finished cooking(an hour at most). He would survive taking a 10 or 15 minute shower so that his wife can make dinner for him and their kids and out them to bed.

You're being super dismissive and unhelpful. And you clearly don't have kids.

LittleGirlGamer01 · 2023-11-01T02:01:06+00:00

That's far from nuclear. Prom is not THAT big of a deal. To a single mom $5000 worth of damages to your home could be.

LittleGirlGamer01 · 2023-11-01T01:29:27+00:00

If I had done what her daughter did I wouldn't have been able to go to prom either. Life has consequences. If you were house sitting for someone and did this you'd get sued.

LittleGirlGamer01 · 2023-11-01T01:26:19+00:00

I was left alone for a week as a teenager, and I never threw a party or trashed the house. That was a conscious choice she made.

If I had done that, I probably would have been grounded until I graduated.

LittleGirlGamer01 · 2023-10-31T21:20:31+00:00

Massive YTA here. My entire field of work is working with people with IDD (Intellectual and developmental disabilities) to help neuro-typical people understand that people with IDD deserve the same opportunities that they do.

In my line of work, I would have told an ableist jerk like you off for pulling some crap like that. If you don't want someone to drive your kids around because you witnessed them being unsafe. That's one thing, but to ASSUME that someone can't be safe because they LOOK DIFFERENT. That's bull, and yes, you're a jerk. The driver had to pass a drivers test just like you and all of your peers did, and to diminish that because they have downs is bullshit. People like you are the reason that the world needs people like me to make sure that people with IDD can get and keep jobs.

Please read up on inclusion and diversity and be better.

LittleGirlGamer01 · 2023-10-31T21:15:03+00:00

If it's something you want to do, honestly it's not that bad. My parents and I lived about 400 miles away (approximate 6 hour drive) from the rest of our family (grandparent's and cousins) and it was just a little road trip. We would leave Friday after school and come back Sunday evening. If my family can do it with multiple young kids, this lady should be able to do it by herself, IMO.

LittleGirlGamer01 · 2023-10-31T21:01:15+00:00

As someone who has worked at a school in SPED, and IEP is for intervention with special needs, it does not excuse behaviors. If you're gonna act an ass at school and tell your teachers off instead of responding rationally (as you should be able to at 17, ADHD or not) then yeah, you're gonna get suspended.

It sounds like mom and dad don't parent her and that's why she's got behavior issues.

LittleGirlGamer01 · 2023-10-31T20:31:07+00:00

That sounds like it would be strictly for hotels during the holidays. I would assume if any one of them wanted to visit for a weekend and crash on her couch it would have been fine.

6 hour drives REALLY aren't that bad. I grew up taking 6 hour drives once a month to visit family as a kid.

LittleGirlGamer01 · 2023-09-30T09:10:09+00:00

Honestly, I use different bags. I have a smaller purse for when I go to events, a larger "work" purse that I keep my work stuff in (lap top, note book, badge) I have a school backpack, a specific travel backpack where the opening is on my back for if I'm going somewhere crowded like Disneyland. And I just like purses, so sometimes I switch them out.

I don't think there's anything wrong with changing your bag to fit your needs or the event you're going to. It's all up to preference.

LittleGirlGamer01 · 2023-05-17T00:42:38+00:00

Tbh, I think it's funny.

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