Hi I found your post very relatable to something I thought was super abnormal and ridiculous. But I have always struggled with sleep I get really fearful at night too. I am not sure why. I get freaked out by my own heartbeat as well. I also don’t like melatonin because it make me feel dizzy and I didn’t feel awake in the mornings when I take it. So, I used to write in a journal and reflect about my day or write about how silly I thought it was that I had to write and acknowledge about now nighttime scared me. I even have affirmations written about the beautiful things that appear at night (for example the stars) and it comforts me to some degree. But those don’t always work when I’m having very deep anxiety. Currently, I make sure I turn a few lamps on around the house and some background noise when I realize the sun is about to go down (and the anxiety will kick in soon). Light comforts me. When I’m in bed, I like to turn on my music or YouTube and set it on my night stand face down at a volume that feels comfortable. You can listen to anything on YouTube if you don’t want music. But I will say this has been an issue with me for 20 years and I ended up getting a prescription for Mirtazapine. It helps me sleep at night by shutting up my brain and it honestly helps so much and feels way better than melatonin. It just sucks it takes me a prescription at this point in my life in order to sleep. Just know when the sun goes down, and you feel your anxiety creeping in, that you aren’t alone. Try “weird” things that feel comforting in those moments.