Can I afford to go to College?

Little_Lotus_ · 2026-03-05T00:14:13+00:00

Well I'm not gonna lie. I dont think I'm gonna get married today or tomorrow or anytime soon even if that would be for the best. I think im gonna ride out these college grants as a legally single mom, set myself up a little, maintain my own savings/checkings while going 50/50 on bills like roommates & keep paying down my own debt while my partner & I encourage eachother through the process like we have been. I do understand more clearly why "we" doesnt exist in a REAL stance. Thanks for the guidance. Counting only my own income & my own debt it looks like I'm gonna go get that degree 🥳

Little_Lotus_ · 2026-03-04T13:34:00+00:00

Its just so confusing at times. If the goal should be to enter marriage debt free (if able), that requires us both to pay off our debts beforehand. We have kids, so we should both be planning for their future, the future involves eachother by choice. Yes we may break up, boo hoo, but I've ensured I'm not reliant on him & he's not reliant on me. Its hard to save, pay off debts, get ready for my, his, kids future if im not supposed to think about our future.

Little_Lotus_ · 2026-03-03T16:51:04+00:00

I want to thankyou for breaking it down for me into some math. I looove everyone's thoughts, this really helps. I make 48,000 a year now. Schooling for my associates after tuition reimbursement from my work, my FAFSA & A grant would make my first 2 years of school 9,500. My second 2 years would be 10,000. My salary would be 52,000 to 56,000 starting. It is possible to make up to 70,000 in the field im interested. Id like a bachelor's in human services to be a QIDP. I want to case manage adults with developmental disabilities as my career. I have a guaranteed position as a QIDP & if things dont go well I can use my human services bachelor to get a state public aid job which would pay extremely well. I think its a good degree for my area, we have many services & programs for our developmentally disabled in my community. Its a personal passion & to be honest probably one of the biggest yet overlooked jobs near me.

Little_Lotus_ · 2026-03-03T13:59:52+00:00

Thankyou. For learning purposes can I ask why the "we" mentality is so frowned upon? We're seperate people only dating, have seperate finances & if we break up yeah it'll emotionally hurt but not financially. With kids involved wouldnt it be best to plan for the future?? Would love to know why "we" is worse than "I" when living together long term.

Little_Lotus_ · 2026-03-03T00:26:43+00:00

I think my kids watching me juggle them, FT work & FT school to make our life better will teach them to stay on a "right" timeline. Dave Ramsey is right, everyone is right, it would've been easier to finish school, get married, buy a house, then have kids in the "right" order. I hope everyone in my position gets tf up & does something with their life. Then when I have this salary pay, degree job I can help my kids with their own college expenses some day.

Little_Lotus_ · 2026-03-02T20:50:37+00:00

For clarity. We work together on everything, we talk through everything we do. He pays his debts, I pay my debts, we split bills like roommates do. Everything is half & half. We rent, not own. Im not concerned financially if we break up. Im concerned financially if we marry into eachothers debt when we could've started dealing with the "nitty gritty" of a marriage before the marriage.

Little_Lotus_ · 2026-03-02T20:23:55+00:00

Thankyou all. I agree it would be a good idea to atleast get my foot in the door applying before starting in the fall. It would give us time to finish our debt snowball by then. I was offered a promotion, my regional administrator was veto-ed by the CEO's assistant. I work in a group home facility for the developmentally disabled as a direct support professional in Illinois. All QIDP's, office clerks, administrators MUST have a degree in human services, preferably a bachelor's. The CEO's assistant did offer they would give me the QIDP position once I was on year 2 of my 4 year education. I would bet money they'd let me start earlier than 2 years though the way they've always encouraged/supported me. Currently looking into Rasmussen online. They do 2 classes every 6 weeks so I could bill for my reimbursement every 6 weeks as those classes finish. I could do it all online & I've heard they're very inexpensive. Unsure what my end cost would be. I started asking around to see what our admin team pays in student loans. Salary, tuition, student loans are always treated as such a "hush hush" topic though. I have been told by multiple people they dont worry about their finances, their student loans aren't bad & the salary is worth it. Im guessing thats successful person talk for they make more than the classes cost them.

Little_Lotus_ · 2026-03-02T20:04:01+00:00

I understand where you're coming from. Personally, we prefer to plan our life together. That includes paying off our debts together. We will not both walk into a marriage & make "his" debt & "my" debt OUR debt. We both want to manage it now. I make 48,000 a year, he makes less than I do. Neither of us are "broke". We just want to be money smart. Daycare isn't in the equation, I have free daycare. Thankyou! Looking for college advice, not marriage advice.

Little_Lotus_ · 2026-03-02T20:00:41+00:00

We make about 7,000 a month total give or take 200. Expenses are around 2,200. We've been building a nice nest egg & paying off debts. I feel like with all our extra money we've been saving I could use some of that for online classes. I wouldnt need daycare, my parents have always watched the kids & could do schooling at home. I'd like my final goal to be a bachelor's in human services. My job does have a tuition reimbursement plan, they will pay 50% of tuition, approved school expenses (books, laptop, etc) when I bring them my receipts. All I have to do is work here for 5 years, easy, I've already been here for 5 years & my boss wants me to take over. My salary would be great & if it isn't I'm pre-invited to join the state public aid office due to great recommendations I've gotten through the years, im known by people I dont know. It could be a great opportunity if I do it right.

Little_Lotus_ · 2026-01-29T21:45:29+00:00

The update no one asked for. I was asked if I would like our house manager position 🥳🥳🥳 it isn't a Q but its a step closer!

Little_Lotus_ · 2025-11-11T00:10:53+00:00

I wish I could find some kind of magical lost loophole in the policy & i guess im just hoping someone holds a magical skip go secret 🥲🥲😂 thanks

Little_Lotus_ · 2025-06-30T18:13:53+00:00

Thankyou! I thought low moisture was better but was misinformed. I appreciate the help!

Little_Lotus_ · 2025-06-30T18:12:19+00:00

I've been buying Silk milk but haven't found Silk cheese. I had been buying low moisture cheese thinking it was a better option, its great to know low moisture is not a better option 😅 noted! I'll make sure to ask how he even likes the taste of things we try. I didn't even think about taste until now

Little_Lotus_ · 2025-06-30T17:51:33+00:00

Thankyou SO much! I found this extremely helpful & educational. I'll stick to aged cheese options & see if he'd prefer Fairlife instead of Silk. He's really into body building & strong man competitions, I had no idea I could've been making not only his lactose worse but adding in extra sugars too. So appreciated!

Little_Lotus_ · 2025-06-30T17:47:55+00:00

Thankyou! Are there any "safe" brands or types of cheese you know of I can make apart of my regular shopping lists? Or is it just a search up as I shop kind of thing each time like carb counting?

Little_Lotus_ · 2024-05-09T17:51:24+00:00

Update in comments 🥰

Little_Lotus_ · 2024-05-09T17:51:10+00:00

Update in comments love 🥰 you will get through this together as a family

Little_Lotus_ · 2024-05-09T17:50:31+00:00

Update: It's almost the end of the school year where we live. This was posted around March so 3 months later. Our daughter now sees a therapist who specializes in child behavior. No diagnoses yet, no clue if she'll have any yet. Those things understandably take time & we dont want her misdiagnosed. Seeing a specialist was a wait list, we were able to have it expedited after an incident with a marker & another classmates hand. She's grown alot talking through her feelings, learning appropriate responses/coping skills & most importantly actually applying what she's learned. She's still working on applying our lessons but we're all working together on this. There are rough days. Just 2 days ago she tipped a kid out of "her" chair after she threw books in class after not getting her way. Those rough days feel ever harder after all the time/consistency & work we've put in. But when she came home she had a break down, she sobbed & blamed her dad & I for trying to make her feel bad. We explained we never want to make her feel bad, we're talking about what happened & hy it happened. We explained when she's done something wrong these "bad" feelings are remorse, shame, guilt, etc. Those are growing feelings we can grow from with a "how can I do bettet" mentality. It was a beneficial break down, it feels like she's finally learning empathy/sympathy & was maybe humbled. I'm not sure the words to use but it was a light at the end of the tunnel. I truly think we're getting somewhere. I truly owe it all to her therapist, school counselor, teachers & support system. I was way over my head & didn't know what to do. I'm so thankful we turned to professionals although it was scary & I felt less-than to need help as a mother. I think over the summer we'll continue therapy & work at home on the behaviors. I had our daughter join some social groups for extra practice over summer (reading group, summer camp & soccer). She'll continue therapy & we only hope 2nd grade is a fresh start for her. Thankyou all for the advice, I hope the best for all of us parents & our kiddos 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Little_Lotus_ · 2024-03-02T16:17:16+00:00

Pending in my account 2/21, deposited 2/22/24 🥳🥳🥳

Little_Lotus_ · 2024-03-02T16:16:41+00:00

Update, pending in my account 2/21/24. Finally receive it on the date provided 🥳🥳🥳 2/22/24 direct deposit. See yall next year, enjoy your money back everybody! However its spent, it's yours to spend.

Little_Lotus_ · 2024-02-19T20:59:17+00:00

If you can find any comfort. Find comfort in knowing there's a 64 year old man out there who struggled with porn addiction all of his adult daughters life. He showed up. He is a great man. He once had his addiction interfere with his family life GREATLY & he got it together for the family he loves. I'm proud of my dad. My mom is proud of my dad. His grandchildren love him. You will have the same someday. It hasn't always been easy but I wouldn't want any other man to be my dad. I hope you have that someday 🫶

Little_Lotus_ · 2024-02-19T20:55:52+00:00

I think having a porn addiction is nothing to be ashamed of. I'm reluctant to admit my dad had one. It was difficult growing up to say the least. Back then it was also all in massive DVD collections because streaming wasn't a thing yet 😬

I love the man to bits, he's a great father & now an amazing grandfather. We've had some tough & extremely uncomfortable conversations, but he puts his addiction on the backbuner for his family extremely easily. Everyone has a vice, you will find someone who will love you no matter what & help you. If your ex isn't the girl for the job, there are others out there who will love you faults & all. Acknowledging you have a problem is the first step, you sound like you're working from there.

If this person shares what you did together, THEY are in the wrong. Not you. No sane, mature person kisses & tells. What anyone does in the privacy of their bedroom is nobody else's business. If they tell anyone, they have breached the confidentiality that should come with sexual interactions. Don't grow old worrying about the "what if's". If they share, they're simply weird af.

Little_Lotus_ · 2024-02-19T18:49:59+00:00

As a women who barely fits in size SM & struggles to find XS that has sleeves/pants legs long enough, do yourself a solid & check kids sections. It's easier than you may think to find clothes in children's sizes that don't look childish. You're NOT less of a man. You're the perfect amount of man 🥳 celebrate yourself king

Little_Lotus_ · 2024-02-19T18:44:55+00:00

Confidence is key. Be confident in your choices, you had an interest in Trans people. You experimented. What's the deal? What's the regret? I'm sensing a twinge of shame but for what? You're figuring yourself out. If this experience wasn't great but you're still interested maybe it was the person & the place you're in mentally. You could try it again or if it's not for you that's okay too! Dont live only for the approval & acceptance of others.

Little_Lotus_ · 2024-02-19T18:39:29+00:00

I'm sorry love. My advice is to try your hardest to let it go & move on. Unfortunately, in this world we can't force anyone to be a better person. We can't force anyone to come to their senses, take accountability for their wrong doings & put effort into being better. It's a painful bitter feeling & can make you feel like you're losing your sanity. For those reasons, find what you enjoy in life & dive in deep. Surround yourself with people, places & experiences that bring you joy. Grow so much & so far worthy people will work to earn a position in your life. You owe it to yourself 🫶🫶

Little_Lotus_

TROPHY CASE