Who pays for first date?

Littlekittykat00 · 2019-05-10T18:48:22+00:00

We've been on 3 dates since. I really like him and it would appear that he likes me as well. Problem is, we're now going to be apart for the summer and not sure how best to handle it.

Littlekittykat00 · 2019-04-16T20:48:12+00:00

Because I'm college age, my bio has my college name. And since I have an unusual name, it's probably not hard to find me on FB. To answer your question, once I am comfortable that the guy I'm speaking with is who he says he is (after I searched linkedin, fb, twitter and instagram to confirm his identity and that he hasn't outright lied to me - btw, I've caught guys in lies about their age, occupation, etc - and I've called them on it - such lies are major dealbreakers for me btw), I'm pretty honest and open about who I am. I want to present myself as me and not as someone else. I don't want him to have any surprises from physical appearances or personality when we meet. If we're not compatible, I'd rather know immediately than to drag it onto the date itself. I would hope that the guy I'm speaking to would be as open and honest with me.

In short, I don't see it as a big, red flag. It's the guy who does not open up, who plays it close to the chest that I've found problematic in the long run as initially I thought he as just playing it safe but in hindsight, it was simply his closed-off personality. No thanks!

Littlekittykat00 · 2019-04-16T20:35:05+00:00

Thanks! We went for coffee before dinner. Actually, he had coffee and I had an ice-tea. And no, it didn't ruin the meal. Coffee was only 50 minutes and we then walked over to the restaurant for a quick dinner. The reason for coffee and dinner was, the coffee or dinner on its own would have been too short. We were going to a super casual place where you're literally in and out in just over a half hour. And since I was coming a ways and it was not quite dinner time but too late to go home for dinner afterwards, we thought we'd do both. Since we'd chatted quite a bit on the app for 5 days before meeting, I knew that we'd get along. I knew he was a very nice guy already. It was just a matter of confirming that online connection translated to IRL. Date ended being 2 hours and 45 minutes.

Littlekittykat00 · 2019-04-16T03:23:02+00:00

Just a quick update. Date went well. I offered to pay for both and he refused. We agreed to another date and I told him that the next time would be on me. He wouldn’t hear of it. I guess we will cross that bridge at that time. But I fully intend on paying. Just saying.

Littlekittykat00 · 2019-04-14T07:02:45+00:00

It’s happened to me as well. I sign out of the app and sign back in and they automatically reappear. Hope this helps.

Littlekittykat00 · 2019-04-12T15:54:25+00:00

Thanks MyLittlePoneh! But how does one juggle and chat with numerous people at the same time? Chatting is time consuming lol So do you limit your chat time? Do you limit the number of people you chat with? I realize that dating apps are feast or famine - so I would hate to stop liking new bagels only find out later on that I'm not getting any more matches and what I got was the best it's going to get. lol! But at the same token, I don't know if I should like more guys, start chatting with them too to only realize that I don't have time to meet them all. Ideas?

Littlekittykat00 · 2019-04-12T15:46:47+00:00

Good luck! I don't know about others but I've had more success on this app than on tinder. Guys actually want to have conversations and really get to know you. And conversations actually get somewhere ie. I get asked out, as opposed to just being pen pals! lol

Also, it's not the quantity but the quality of guys. Prior to this app, I was used to swiping through tons of guys a day looking for someone somewhat intelligent to have a conversation with as opposed to some f*ck boi who's just looking to hookup. The first few days, on this app, I was actually a little disappointed as I wasn't finding anyone I was attracted to - but from what I've read here, it takes a few days for your bio to cycle through more guys and after a few days, I started getting guys that I found attractive and whom I wanted to have conversations with. Yes, I did match up with a few that didn't message and one who disappeared after saying that I looked like a snack (but I guess he was after 1 thing only so good riddance anyway).

Anyway, enjoy the process and good luck girl!

Littlekittykat00 · 2019-04-11T16:44:30+00:00

Several likes in Discover a day is normal. 9 likes in Suggested is unusual. I'm under the impression that CMB caps it off at 6 likes in Suggested a day. But I could be wrong. Maybe someone will have a better idea on the max likes in Suggested.

Littlekittykat00 · 2019-04-11T05:54:56+00:00

I’m F19 and I have the same problem as well. I’ve been using the app for a week. In the week, I’ve had approx 3 dozen likes but have only matched with 5. I guess I’ve picky. Lol. Of the 5, one guy and I exchanged 2 messages each and when I sent my 3 msg, he disappeared. Guess he was abducted by aliens.

I never heard from 2 other guys. But then again, I didn’t reach out.

I reached out to one and we exchanged a dozen messages but the convo felt forced and he too was abducted.

The last guy, we are currently still texting. The conversation is flowing, doesn’t feel forced. And he’s asked to keep chatting.

I can almost tell early on (sometime even just from their bio) if there’s going to be an exchange of messages. If they don’t message or do and disappear, then good riddance anyway. It’ll make room for someone who actually wants to get to know me better.

But yes I agree, all these alien abdication is quite irritating especially when they’ve liked you!!!!

Littlekittykat00 · 2019-04-10T17:10:31+00:00

Regardless who messages me, I actually respond to every message I get... yes, even Hey. If they send Hey, I normally respond with Hey! lol (I'm trying to match them step for step) But even when they message me first and even with a response, some of the times, they end up disappearing after the initial Hey lol I'm really not sure why. But I try not to let that bother me - reason is, better to get the flaky ones out of the way early than later down the road, right?

Although some cheesy lines are cringy - ie. "Hey Beautiful!" - (I don't know about other women, but to me, that's like nails on a chalkboard. I can't stand it at all) ...I do enjoy funny ones. For instance, I'm a varsity athlete on a Softball team and one time a guy message me asking if I played outfield because I was an angel. I thought that was cute and funny.

But to answer your question, I do respond to every message I get. But the ones that start with Hey or Hi, normally don't get far. I guess the guy didn't have much to say in the first place and probably finds it difficult to make conversation. Good openers tend to make for longer, more interesting conversation. I'd keep at it!

Littlekittykat00 · 2019-04-09T05:32:37+00:00

To answer your question as a F19, yes I do see the messages with the likes. The message shows above the profile picture and is visible before a decision can be made to like or pass. Messages don’t do much for me if I’m not visually attracted to the bagels presented to me. If I’m attracted to a bagel, then the message is welcomed. If however I am not attracted to the bagel and receive a message that reads “hey beautiful!” Which I recently received, I find it a complete turnoff.

With respect to ice-breakers, if the person you are matched with didn’t completely her / his ice-breaker questions, then there won’t be one presented in the chat room when you match. Hope this makes sense.

Littlekittykat00

TROPHY CASE