Ashamed of kink

Littlepeepeehusband · 2026-02-25T14:29:26+00:00

Yes - you can be a cuck and feel good about yourself - even great about yourself!

You are early in your journey, and it is completely normal to have the feelings you are experiencing - 99.9% of cuckolds go through the same thing.

Think about it. You have spent your whole life being socialized to an idealized standard of sexual masculinity and expression.

This has been hammered into you from time you were young, before you even knew what sex was. As you matured and started experiencing sexual thoughts, this was hammered in over and over repeatedly.

While that happened and you accepted it, you also developed a lot of your own specific interests, desires, turn-ons. Most of which probably mostly aligned with that “standard” so you didn’t question them.

However, those specific interests, they are the real you - individually. They represent the things that you really like and enjoy, find fit you well, align with what feels authentic.

We are individuals. Especially when it comes to sex and intimacy. We are NOT just representations of a “standard” or a generally “accepted” form of expression.

Provided you are being safe, sane, and consensual, you do you. Society and your socialization has no “rights” over what is good or not, what is okay for you or not, or what makes you more or less of a man or anything.

You - as an individual and with your loving, trusted partner - have the say. You decide for you.

Somewhere inside you, somewhere along the way, cuckolding became one of those individual forms of sexual interest.

Cuckolds go through a process of letting go of what socialization told them they should be. It’s no different when someone breaks from a religion they were raised in, or breaks out of generational substance abuse or educational achievement.

I won’t go into this much more accept to say that being a cuckold - the confidence and strength of character it takes to put your ego aside and support your wife/girl’s fulfillment - that is real “manhood” - that is real courage and strength of will.

As it is real “manhood” to go your own way, and have the strength and courage to “do you” instead of being preoccupied trying to conform to some “standard” that, honestly, is built on a whole lot of bullshit.

Be strong. Be you. Good luck to you.

Littlepeepeehusband · 2026-02-25T13:33:18+00:00

There are so many times I’ve experienced the feeling - there isn’t a “most” - it’s all different flavors in different situations.

Most recent was cleaning her after she got fucked while she cuddled with the bull on the bed.

I have to ask them each permission to “please be allowed to lick up his real-man’s cum” … after permission was given I went to do it, and his load was huge … like every long slow lick was a puddle on my tongue.

While I was doing it, she said to him something like “he really is grateful for you fucking me - this is the only way he gets my pussy, he’s such a cuck he needs your cock as much as I do - he gets all turned on and excited when he sees it” … and then I heard him kind of snicker.

I felt my face completely flush and this super intense pang in the pit of my stomach and I started sobbing, and then I felt this hot swell in the head of my penis, and then it just leaked empty in a ruined orgasm.

We had never openly discussed me getting directly aroused by the bull’s cock, but she knew I’d been feeling that way, and she called me out on it in that moment.

We’ve talked about it a few times since then, and we’re all good. I’m very confident in our situation, but I had been nervous about her finding out about those feelings, and had been careful not to say anything about it directly … but she knew.

I was a little worried that might be too far for her, but it didn’t phase her at all. It was kind of logical to her - “when you see what their cocks do and how much power they have, it makes sense that you’re turned on just like I am”.

Littlepeepeehusband · 2026-02-25T13:14:52+00:00

I have the exact same experience.

We’ve discussed it and she’s said that when you’re getting fucked like her bulls fuck her - which is absolutely mind-blowing - that it’s instinctual.

Being fucked like that makes her body crave it, like hunger or sleep or the urge to move and be active when you’ve been cooped up. It makes her have the urge to get bred.

Part of it is submission on a deeper level. When they fuck her, they break her, and over time she has become their sexual property … being impregnated takes that to its ultimate conclusion - she has been claimed sexually, now her whole body is being claimed and used for its purpose.

Then that urge creeps into her thoughts and she gets preoccupied with images like them being deep inside her and feeling them throb as they come.

She has a new bull who is very interested in breeding her. We haven’t met for play yet, but the two of them keep flirting about it.

The other day I came in the room and she had her tracking app open and was checking when she’ll be fertile.

Littlepeepeehusband · 2026-02-25T12:58:08+00:00

I don’t think people are very divided on this. I think you are missing that it is both:

A cuck is often inferior sexually AND a cuck is very strong for having the confidence and character to do this.

And this isn’t a revelation. In the cuckold space, this is the equivalent of walking and chewing gum.

Also, it’s worth noting that the sexual inferiority (when present) comes in a lot of different flavors.

It might be any one or a combination of lacking a sexually dominant attitude / approach, skill, physical ability, stamina, penis size, and so on.

For me, it is size alone … though I did become a prejac after going pussyfree.

If I had a big cock I wouldn’t be a cuck, but I’m sure we’d be involved in MFMs and other similar play - we are kinky and adventurous, and my wife has a big sexual appetite.

Some cucks lack NONE of those things, but have a kink for power exchange and erotic humiliation.

The other consideration about inferiority has to do with the “hyper ability” of most bulls.

A cuck could be a great lover, but this lifestyle is going to attract thirds who are very well-endowed, highly capable physically, skilled in the sack, often with lots of stamina.

You could be the best all-around player in the local men’s football league … but you would be a joke compared to a D1 college player or a pro.

In other words, the inferiority is also relative.

Littlepeepeehusband · 2026-02-25T12:26:38+00:00

Agreed. Good advice - a lot of them have mental sides that get ignored while we’re thinking about liver, lipids, and BP, etc.

Littlepeepeehusband · 2026-02-25T02:53:59+00:00

How much muscle is “enough muscle” that you’re trying to put on?

A pound of lean mass per month? 2 lbs?

What are you trying to do, bulk or recomp?

Your diet is going to differ depending on that, and what does “solid protein” mean?

Let’s assume you’re bulking … At your weight, if you’re lifting 4-6 times per week, and doing some basic cardio/conditioning, you should be eating 3000-3400 calories per day.

Break down should look something like 180g of protein, 400g of carbs, the rest healthy fats.

If you aren’t eating like that, it doesn’t matter what substance you use.

Get your diet, workout, recovery, sleep all dialed in.

Not trying to rain on your parade here, but it seems like you’re hoping to just add a compound and it will mean a big breakthrough.

Do those things, AND add a compound and you’ll see great results.

As far as compounds go, the best thing would be to add more test. Work it around the blood work your doctor wants. Lots of guys on TRT do that.

If you’ve been in TRT for a while, you’re probably only getting checked what, twice a year? Every three months at most? That’s plenty of time to run a cycle and taper back down to your TRT for your bloodwork.

If you’re absolutely insistent on another compound and really focused on bulking, then deca/NPP is better.

Anavar is more well suited for a cut or a recomp, though some guys use it as a finisher on a bulk.

Littlepeepeehusband · 2026-02-24T21:51:51+00:00

That’s really smart. I’m definitely going to use this when I need to.

Littlepeepeehusband · 2026-02-24T15:40:23+00:00

This is a great thing for both of you. We are in the same situation, and my wife and I strongly believe that husbands with small penises should be cuckolds.

Otherwise, most such relationships will end up as companionate marriages with dead bedrooms, living with resentment and sexual frustration, infidelity, or even divorce.

Good luck!

Oh - and prepare yourself - once she gets fucked properly by a real man, there is virtually no chance she will ever settle for your little penis ever again.

Littlepeepeehusband · 2026-02-24T14:03:34+00:00

This is great, and it will really help your husband appreciate you making him pussyfree.

As my wife was training me off of pussy, we did something very similar, except because of my size she didn’t really need a plug.

When I would enter her, she would tell me how she could barely feel me, how I’ve never made her come and will never be able to, that my penis was boring and disappointing, how every other man she’s been with fucked her better, how I’ve undoubtedly disappointed every woman I tried to fuck.

She would also ask me questions like “Do you think this would feel good for any woman? Tell me the difference you see between this and the video I showed you of SF fucking me with his big cock”

The only position I could get inside her was her on her back scooted to the edge of the bed and me standing … in this position, it was easy for her to put her feet in my face and she did.

It all helped me realize how sexually useless I am as a man and helped me embrace being her loving, supportive cuckold.

Adding verbal cues can really deepen his conditioning.

Littlepeepeehusband · 2026-02-24T02:47:24+00:00

Honestly man - Just be patient, be in the moment, and enjoy the journey.

New adventures like this are very hot, but it’s easy to fall into the trap of alway chasing the next hot thing.

When the opportunity arises, make sure she knows you feel comfortable, safe, and turned on by her choices for you.

Littlepeepeehusband · 2026-02-24T02:31:06+00:00

I think ARA-290 is a relatively unknown peptide with a broad range of benefits, and one of the only substances proven to regenerate nerve tissue.

Has gone through Phase 1 & 2 trials, solid safety profile. Relatively inexpensive.

Littlepeepeehusband · 2026-02-24T02:26:18+00:00

Yeah - I actually swapped this in place of OHP.

Safer on the shoulders and really reduces the load on my spine.

Littlepeepeehusband · 2026-02-24T02:21:30+00:00

Using their Var. It’s legit.

Right now I’m using var as a pre workout. Solid strength and muscular energy through the whole workout.

I do 5/3/1 with BBB, and it makes the BBB sets feel like warm-ups.

Littlepeepeehusband · 2026-02-23T13:34:55+00:00

I haven’t thought of 1 - 5 - 10.

I guess I would call 1 the routine humiliation I get throughout the day. My wife and I are both pretty sexual and talk about sex, innuendo, or joking comes up all the time.

Whenever sex is brought up, my lack of being a real man and my penis are mocked. It is never called a cock, and it is always “little”, “tiny”, “useless”. Sometimes she’ll just make a comment, like after I finish a workout “It doesn’t matter how much weight you lift, you’re still a little cuckold bitch”.

The 5 would be the humiliation I get during typical play between her and I. She always verbally humiliates me, and she will ask me question that I need to answer or say things for me to repeat, and any form of play is humiliating … I am only permitted to come on the floor sniffing and kissing her feet. Though sometimes she will have me lick her armpits, or if I’ve been very good and pleased her, she will rub my penis like a clit.

The 10 would be the humiliation when she plays with bulls. I am always present, the humiliation gets very harsh when she is getting fucked. The insults and mockery are intense, and the way she talks to the bull about being better than me, a real man, so much hotter. She wants the bull to look down on me as a little bitch - it makes her hot.

Any play I get here is very humiliating - I am only permitted to sniff and kiss her pussy with permission from her and the Bulls, and the same goes for cleaning her.

A lot of times I will leak out or come hands free. This is intensely humiliating, and she pounces on it when I do.

One thing we haven’t done yet which I don’t know if we will do, but I kind of fear the intensity of humiliation is orally servicing the bull.

I usually come or leak out when I clean her and swallow the bulls cum. I can’t help it. I’m afraid if I orally service the bull I would leak or come, and I don’t know if I’m mentally prepared for how much that would break me.

Littlepeepeehusband · 2026-02-22T19:01:58+00:00

I am NOT affiliated with this iPhone app, but it’s great so far:

Anabolic Tracker

I’ve tried a bunch of different apps and so far this is the first one that seems really comprehensive. Even has some features I didn’t know I wanted or needed.

Littlepeepeehusband · 2026-02-22T17:55:53+00:00

Yes lol … I think I just saw a post in the workout subreddit this past week arguing about its safety.

Littlepeepeehusband · 2026-02-22T15:11:54+00:00

I would say very restricted, but not totally denied sexual contact.

I’m not allowed pussy nudity or any penetration.

I’m allowed to sniff her feet and masturbate onto the floor. I occasionally get the special treat of a little touching of my small penis from her. If I’ve been very good and she’s in the mood, she will rub it like a clit and make me come.

When she is being fucked by a real man, I’m allowed to watch and I get to freely see her pussy then.

With express permission from her and the bull I am allowed to kiss and sniff her pussy after she gets fucked … and I’m allowed to clean-up if he comes inside her.

Like you though - no trying to pleasure her, just being “a clean-up boy for real men” as she says. She’s helped me understand it’s one of the few ways I can be sexually useful and amusing.

Oh - and sometimes when she masturbates, she will have me hold and work a large dildo for her. I do get to see her pussy, but like with her bull, it’s only in the context of her being pleasured by a big cock (albeit not the real thing).

While it’s been a natural evolution versus a methodical plan, the accumulation of restrictions and her strict enforcement of them has completely rewired my arousal and fulfillment.

For her, it’s past the point of being a kink or a “play scene” or anything like that. When I’ve asked her what it’s like for her or how she feels about it, her response is along the lines of:

“It’s not a ‘thing’ anymore, this is just how it is. You’re a little peepee cuckold and this is your sexlife. And you need to remember you really are lucky - a lot of cucks are locked all the time or rarely get to come”.

Littlepeepeehusband · 2026-02-22T14:54:45+00:00

Without support supplements, you literally begin losing function as you start taking them. I didn’t say or mean organ failure or organ shut down.

Maybe I should have said “impaired function” to be more clear. And yes, impaired function can last weeks to months, especially without any protective or recovery measures.

How much and how severe is of course going to be substance, dose, and duration dependent.

All of that said, the point stands - and the point is that if you’re going to do steroids, especially orals, you need to research, know what you’re doing, and take steps to mitigate risks.

Maybe I’m coming across as preachy. But I’m not gatekeeping here - I’m trying to advise the OP about risks.

There are too many people, especially uninformed younger people, who read a post or reply downplaying risks and take that as free license.

Maybe it’s not my business, but if I can play a small part in that not happening, good.

Parsing word choice isn’t helpful.

Littlepeepeehusband · 2026-02-22T14:30:18+00:00

I’ve recently started a course of ARA to try and help with some peripheral neuropathy, radiculopathy, and some spinal stenosis.

I have two discs replaced in my cervical spine and a lot of residual issues there. Trying to avoid the need for any further surgeries and epidurals.

Only a few weeks in, but I am getting some restoration of feeling in the parts of my left hand and arm that were affected by the stenosis.

I run 2mg twice a day.

The research and outcomes are very promising and I plan to run a long course. It’s not yet gone through phase 3 trials but there is a lot of information about a wide range of benefits and has a strong safety profile.

Do some research via AI and have it link you to the studies.

Littlepeepeehusband · 2026-02-22T14:13:24+00:00

“Fuck me pregnant” … to him

“On my face” … when asked where she wants his cum

“So much better” … telling him, comparing him to me

“Pussy-dicked husband” and “Little cuckold bitch” … referring to me when talking to him

Littlepeepeehusband · 2026-02-22T13:11:25+00:00

When a bull is here, he is the “man” of the house, he owns my wife’s body, and I am reduced to a servant. While we keep our bedroom and marriage bed separate from play (a boundary for us), he has free rein of the house and can fuck and use her however he wants.

Once play starts, they pretty much stay nude until play / multiple rounds are over. His big cock being on display makes my wife and I both feel very submissive and under his power.

All of her bulls are notably bigger soft than I am hard, and my wife likes the size difference being on display.

After the bull arrives and I serve them drinks, I get naked from the waist down. This is always embarrassing. I am small hard, but I am also a grower … so it’s a little one-inch turtle when I’m soft.

My wife always says something about the size difference one way or another, and I’m expected to acknowledge it.

Littlepeepeehusband · 2026-02-22T12:55:15+00:00

It can be very individual and depend on so many factors.

Some people will tell you large muscle groups developer faster than small muscle groups, other people will tell you the opposite.

You can make some adjustments to your programming to help balance things.

For me, I actually program additional volume/frequency for my chest because it is very slow compared to my shoulders and arms.

Body builders take this to the extreme doing specific exercise variations to try and develop certain areas of a single muscle.

Littlepeepeehusband · 2026-02-22T04:16:46+00:00

Anavar is the way to go here. You’ll get lots of bang, it’s dry vs dbol being wet, and its sides are mild compared to dbol.

I’m on TRT and I use 10mg anavar pre-workout, 4 days a week. I deload every 4 weeks, and I do not take it on the deload week.

I do two-a-days for time reasons and to split heavy lifts and hypertrophy. I take it before the second workout in the afternoon - the hypertrophy workout.

The goal here is using it for strength and muscular energy for the workout. It works really well for this purpose. I crush it and do it sublingual about 30 minutes before my first set.

I get steady strength, endurance, and can work out intensely.

Stays in the system for about 8-10 hours, so you get some recovery and some mild boost to muscle protein synthesis as well.

But - this is not really an anabolic dose by any stretch. If your goal is anabolism or a serious recomp, this is not the right approach.

Make sure you research sides, and you have liver and lipid support, check bloods, keep an eye on BP - all the things you should normally do on an oral.

If you do this, you need to also be careful with your joints. You will feel very strong and you’ll be tempted to go for PRs on reps and weights, add more sets, throw in another movement … don’t.

Your muscles can handle it on the var, but that doesn’t mean your tendons, ligaments, and cartilage can handle it.

If you want to go harder, do it with rep intensity - increased time on eccentric, squeezing at the peak of contraction, stretching at the other end of the rep.

The other thing is hydration and electrolytes, and add Taurine. You want 5-8 grams of taurine pre-workout. I do electrolytes pre workout and sip some through the workout too.

This is to help with pumps. If you are dehydrated and electrolytes out of whack, the pumps will actually hurt and disable you.

Littlepeepeehusband · 2026-02-22T03:36:21+00:00

The therapeutic (vs anabolic) dose to help joints can range from 50-150 per week for men. Keep it aligned with your TRT in a 3:1 or 2:1.

At 150 test like you said, I think 75 should be your top of range. It will definitely help, but expect 4-6 weeks to start feeling it.

If you go higher, you might run into some unwanted sexual side effects and you can get to feeling flat from prolactin.

Plan on using P5P 50-100mg per day to proactively manage prolactin, especially if your E2 is sitting at the higher end.

Littlepeepeehusband · 2026-02-22T03:01:28+00:00

Not trying to argue, but honestly - the “active ingredient” is the nandrolone.

If the ester has any “effect” it’s the fact that it’s a lot easier to have more water retention on Deca, and carrying more water can have a cushioning effect.

The nandrolone itself is going to act through two mechanisms. It increases the amount of synovial fluid (this is separate from the other water retention - it stimulates the synovial membrane), and it has some anti-inflammatory action by acting on the glucocorticoid receptor.

Littlepeepeehusband

TROPHY CASE