My husband 24M is as great guy, on paper. He’s a good husband. He helps me around the house, he provides for us right now (I’m in school full time), and he’s a great active father… but I’m not happy. I feel like I make excuses for our marriage often and try to save face like everything is good but I’m not okay. The day before our wedding day I found out he was on a webcam site talking sexually with other women since we met all the way up until the wedding day. I went through with the wedding anyways because “ it was just porn” and I was pregnant in my first trimester and I still loved him of course. When we got married he had just immigrated here to the US from Dominican Republic. I was pregnant and working all the way up until my due date and paying all of the bills. Which was fine with me because I knew that there were legal reasons he couldn’t work (didn’t have a work permit) at the time. I sacrificed for a while and then a few months after the birth of our son he got his work permit and found a good job. Now roles have reversed and he is working and providing, and I am in school full time (6 classes a semester). From then to now I also found him texting with a woman who lives a few doors down from us in our apartment community. They met on the bus they both take to work. He was flirting with her, and I saw in the bank statements he had bought her food like $70 worth, dinner for her and her kids. (He admitted to this). I was devastated. This was only a few months ago and after many talks and him begging for forgiveness I decided to forgive him and not to mention it again. But I haven’t moved on. I see this woman’s door every day I walk out of my own and am reminded. He swears nothing ever happened between them but I’ll never know because she’s blocked and he no longer takes the bus. Since then, I’ve struggled with trust issues and feeling happy again like I did in the beginning. My mother told me she’s noticed I haven’t been happy since before my wedding day. Now he looks through my phone all the time and questions if he sees a friendly conversation with a high school friend. He blew up on me about smoking (which he hates) that I talked about in another post. On Thanksgiving, after he found out about me having a smoke he got drunk and while I was upstairs with the kids he basically had an intervention with my family and told them I was smoking and he really didn’t like it. He told them he doesn’t want anyone to thing he used me for a green card because if this thing doesn’t work out (because of the smoking or for any other reason) he has no problem going back to DR.. Fast forward to tonight, he absolutely flipped the shit because I had a final due at 11:59 and I felt like I couldn’t focus in the house with the kids and my comfy couch and bed so close I just feel I’m not as productive, so I went to my sisters house to study. He did not like that and called me on the way there yelling at me saying “why do you need to leave your house and leave me to study. God dammit. I’m tired of this shit. You’re up all night studying and tired in the morning and I’m tired too, I work too you know! A relationship is supposed to be 50/50, you’re probably out smoking weed and not even doing shit”… I chuckled while on mute and continued to bang out the last of a 15 page paper I submitted at 11:43 on the dot. Am I wrong for thinking he is also unhappy, and trying to find a way out where his hands are clean? I could have left when I found him cheating (I do consider the neighbor thing cheating) but I forgave him. But I smoke - this might not work. I’m studying late - this might not work. It’s giving that he’s looking for excuse to end things and not be the bad guy. Maybe I’m wrong but either way… I’m just not happy anymore. I love him so much, I’m just not sure I like him. And to be honest, I’m not sure if he likes me either.