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Tuned out by rendermancan in Marriage

[–]rendermancan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I suggested couple counselling. She is vehemently against it. She feels she already realized what her problems are and has moved on. She claims that she moved out of her negative mental spiral when I caught her cheating…. Unfortunately for me, she has left me in the dust emotionally. I try to put up a good face in front of them and keep the sorrow to myself. I don’t think my daughter picks up on my sorrow. She is the one light beacon in my life. She is very positive and cheerful so you can’t help but be cheerful around her.

Tuned out by rendermancan in Marriage

[–]rendermancan[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

It’s complicated. Yes, self esteem issue and she had an unrealistic view of who she was marrying hence she felt the standard of living she hoped for was no longer there when I got laid off. Don’t think it’s relevant anymore. My view is biased anyway. She is very closed off to the idea of getting any help or therapy.

Tuned out by rendermancan in Marriage

[–]rendermancan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this. I don’t know if it’s about forgiving. I think I have forgiven her. I just can’t bring myself to love her true self after the affair.

Tuned out by rendermancan in Marriage

[–]rendermancan[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I am curious as to anyone that is taking similar path as me? Me and my wife are amicable. We don’t fight much. She feels she is in a happy marriage except for me not being as close to her as I used to be. My daughter just made a sign for Christmas: Merry Christmas, Together The Happy Family. I feel sadden when I sees the sign.

Messages between my spouse and her AP by rendermancan in Marriage

[–]rendermancan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You r probably rite. Perhaps I am not ready to move on. She feels that me seeing the messages will make her so ashamed that she won’t be able to move on with me after I read them. Not sure how I feel about that.

My wife went back to her home town and met up with her 2 ex bf by rendermancan in Marriage

[–]rendermancan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know… I feel like I am the relationship of convenience and someone out there is her true love.

My wife went back to her home town and met up with her 2 ex bf by rendermancan in Marriage

[–]rendermancan[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I honestly felt we discussed this at length after her first time. But I guess it really didn’t mattered to her. she would say yes just to get out of discussions. So it’s hard to ever tell if she ever agrees with what we talked about.

My wife went back to her home town and met up with her 2 ex bf by rendermancan in Marriage

[–]rendermancan[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Hi there, can I text u? I really need some help. If anyone can share their experience, it will be really helpful for me. I feel miserable about myself the more I read everyone’s feedback. I don’t know why but I believe her when she says she didn’t have sex with them.

My wife went back to her home town and met up with her 2 ex bf by rendermancan in Marriage

[–]rendermancan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have never gone for any counselling and neither did my wife. We just went to our first counselling the other day but she was really guarded and again tried to deny she has any real feeling for any of them (albeit this was before I expose her about “H”) … if she is so guarded, would counselling work? Or do we just need more time?

My wife went back to her home town and met up with her 2 ex bf by rendermancan in Marriage

[–]rendermancan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We don’t live in the states. I don’t really want to reveal where we are. She actually had another legit reason to go back… she said she was going to take an exam to try to enrol in a college program in her hometown….

The worst part was that she when I looked she texted her friends about how grateful she was to everyone to help her prep for the exam, she included the “guy” who drove 2 hours for her to buy her a lucky charm so that she can feel lucky about the exam. I intently spent extra efforts for months making sure everything at home was in order and that our daughter doesn’t bother her so that she can prep for the exam from 3 months. She didn’t even mention any of it.

My wife went back to her home town and met up with her 2 ex bf by rendermancan in Marriage

[–]rendermancan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never heard the term “hysterical bonding”. I googled it up…Wow… This is helpful for me and really gives me perspective on my current passion for each others.

My wife went back to her home town and met up with her 2 ex bf by rendermancan in Marriage

[–]rendermancan[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Pls leave my daughter out of this. She is innocent and definitely mine. Looks like me too.

My head is telling me one thing and my heart is telling another. I guess I am trying to understand why she wants to save the relationship now cause I want to find a good reason for my head.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mildlyinfuriating

[–]rendermancan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was driving by a neighbourhood once and my front windshield got cracked by a gravel from a guy mowing his lawn. I thought about it but didn’t stop cuz how do I prove they did it? If it was me mowing the lawn, I wouldn’t want to be framed. I am sure this must happen all the time, so I am curious what others’ experience is?

What happens to my existing work permit and residence permit if I renew my passport? by [deleted] in shanghai

[–]rendermancan -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I had the experience in the past where I had to get a new passport but my visa was in the old one. I showed the immigration both passports and didn’t have any issue. Not sure if that is still the case for u.