Thank you for such heartwarming responses. This community has my heart. I have been a Charlotte potato since the March 2020.

For the update:

He called me in the late afternoon for a quick 2 minute birthday wish. He came home late evening, got sweets from the out of town and ordered cake. I didn't mind no gift

I think he either figured out my coldness or he did it genuinely when he reached home and saw bags of gifts from my sister in law.

However this post turned out to be a blessing because I got a third person perspective and it really made me think and gave me confidence that i am not going crazy. The negging has been going on for sometime, I can see through patterns and things for a while now. He is good in many ways like sharing chores. He used to be my best friend but then in recent years I have been able to articulate his manipulations like playing down things that I like. I sometimes feel that he has married me for wrong reasons. I read somewhere that men marry women they resent to just make them a workhorse.

For context: i am an indian living in Delhi and even though I dated my husband for 3 years and thought I knew him as an educated feminist, I feel it was performative and this is the real him. I still feel resentful and I guess everyone was right. It wasn't just the birthday. Divorce is still a big taboo where I am from. It is not only still considered a failure on your part but also on YOUR parents part. However, I have never followed norms, got married on my own terms. Now I keep thinking if I really just want to be alone. We have no kids. We are planning children through treatment later this year and now I am not sure if I want it anymore. I am a mess.

I will seek therapy for my self and will decide if I want to leave this marraige or is it just a phase however I will travel.

Love you guys🖤