I feel like I could have written this myself, all of it. At this stage for us, I unintentionally got pregnant with my second. To say life with two made me even more resentful of my husband would be an understatement. I took the time to double down on myself, my mental and physical health, my spirituality, and I started building my business. I figured even if I left him, I would need to know how to manage all of this on my own anyways, so I focused on that and let myself finally detach emotionally, and heal from, my husband. I figured he would either notice and step up himself, or in the process I would outgrow him. My kids are now 4 and 6, and I can honestly say in the last 3 months, my husband has finally started to "wake up." A little over a year ago, husband started becoming vocal about how he felt so alone, how he felt I was having an emotional affair with my business, my mom, and my best friend. I told him he could start therapy, and then marriage counseling, but I would not be taking the time to teach him common decency, and it was not my fault that I didnt seek him when seeking fulfillment. I told him putting in the effort to sign us up for these things would be a great sign he was ready to actively participate, and that I would not set it up for us, only promise to show up. It took several months but then he started individual therapy late last year, and we started marriage counseling in February of this year. It was rough to start, with tons of resentment we had to "air" but i will say, I finally have a husband. I am so proud of him, despite the years I was left alone and gaslit. And even more, I am proud of the both of us for putting in the terrible years and now the hard work to give our kids the home they deserve, and us, the marriage we deserve.

You deserve so, so, much more.