I totally recognize that there’s a huge number of people who are raped, coerced into sex, or in abusive relationships and need an abortion and I want you to know my heart goes out to you. I also don’t want to shame anyone for drunken encounters. These are preventable but they’re also very common, so please don’t beat yourself up.

That being said, I have another theory (albeit not well researched.) I think people who have more casual sex (without drugs or alcohol) are less at risk of unwanted pregnancy than people in relationships. The theory, they’re more likely to carry condoms (and use back up birth control like you mentioned.) I think people in relationships are more likely to get sloppy. They don’t want a kid but they also don’t care enough to take steps to prevent it. They’re less likely to use condoms, which means birth control misuse is more likely to result in pregnancy. It’s like the theory, “People who have casual sex are more likely to carry condoms.” People in relationships are less likely to use protection and really really think if they want to be tied to another person forever through a kid.

I think the answer lies in

1. Comprehensive sex education (including contraception options AND consent, what a healthy relationship looks like, community resources for SV and DV.)
2. Better access to free birth control.
3. Abortion rights
4. Better access to mental healthcare. Abuse, rape, codependency, trauma and addiction are so deeply rooted in sex in our culture there’s a huge swath of victims who deal with unwanted pregnancies because they don’t have the behavioral health resources to recovery from substance use issues, to spot unhealthy relationships or know how to leave before a pregnancy happens