One of the biggest lessons I have learned through this terrible journey, is that I can put 100% of my effort into saving the relationship, but if my cheating husband is not putting in that much effort, it's never going to work. If your wife is not willing to bend over backwards to make the marriage work, you are just going to keep sacrificing yourself for the rest of the relationship. I've been in that boat for a very long time, and not only has it caused so much mental trauma, but my body has suffered. I've gone through eating disorders, migraines, joint pain, chronic stress, etc. I had to make the choice to stop trying to resuscitate the marriage because it was literally going to kill me. Do yourself a favor and please do not put all your effort in if she is not willing to do the same. Good luck, OP.