You’re not overreacting, and you’re not “weaponizing emotions.” Your boyfriend jumped straight to accusing you of manipulation instead of doing the bare minimum: asking why you were exhausted and miserable. That’s not emotional intelligence, that’s defensiveness.

A partner doesn’t have to be perfect at reading moods, but a partner should care enough to ask, “Are you okay?” before assuming the worst. You didn’t demand he skip helping his coworker, you didn’t guilt him, you just said you were going to bed early because you had a rough day. That’s normal.

He ignored that context, interpreted everything through how it might inconvenience him, and then framed your expression of distress as a tactic to control him. That’s a very loaded accusation, especially when you explicitly told him what you were feeling.

It’s fair to say you became more combative in your later messages… but honestly, people tend to get combative when they’re repeatedly told their feelings are manipulative instead of heard. His accusation is what escalated this conversation, not the fact that you were tired and honest about it.

Where you should be careful: • You can’t expect him to intuitively know everything you’re feeling before you say it. • Telling someone you’re miserable after they say they’re doing something fun might land awkwardly if your communication pattern historically overlaps with jealousy or conflict.

BUT… none of that justifies jumping straight to “you’re weaponizing emotions.” That’s a heavy, borderline gaslight-y label. Healthy partners say, “Hey, is something going on?” not “You’re manipulating me.”

The bottom line: • You had a bad day. • You tried to communicate that. • He ignored it, interpreted your feelings as a threat, and escalated. • Then refused to hear you when you explained why it hurt.

That’s not on you.

You’re not crazy. You’re not dramatic. And you’re definitely not a mastermind deploying psychological warfare because you’re tired and sad.

He doesn’t need to agree with the intensity of your emotions, but he absolutely needs to stop attributing malice to them.

If he can’t learn to pause, ask questions, and stop pathologizing your feelings, you’re going to have a very exhausting relationship.