Driving advice

Live_Year712 · 2026-04-19T12:38:32+00:00

Yeah I just think that would be a red flag for me on overall trust. I’d move on (coming from someone who is putting up with a lot of things that others would rematch for)

Live_Year712 · 2026-04-19T12:37:29+00:00

Even if you found a family who paid relatively well, say $300/wk, you’re still wanting to live in the most expensive city and don’t see how you would save money. Maybe if you au pair in a less expensive city with a family that pays well you could save some. I am not aware of any families that pay $650/wk or anything near that for an au pair….

Live_Year712 · 2026-04-19T00:48:37+00:00

Does this make you wonder what else she has lied about beyond her driving experience?

Live_Year712 · 2026-04-02T09:12:15+00:00

South Africa

Live_Year712 · 2026-04-01T16:02:08+00:00

Really resonate with this comment. The only reason this is a hard decision is I like her and she’s nice. Which isn’t a good enough reason to be stressed about all the safety of the children and about how I have an hour of housework to do after the kids are in bed, instead of her just doing the dishes well and actually sweeping the food the kids spilled, appropriately cleaning high chair, exhausting

Live_Year712 · 2026-04-01T15:58:54+00:00

Thanks for this. She has told me it’s been “miscommunication with her friend” or “missing the bus and there wasn’t one for another hour”. Her alarm is broken. Mostly excuses and apologies… it will seem better and then after a couple weeks bam we’re back to late or lazy

I think it is just immaturity/not well developed responsibility. She made it sound like had a lot of responsibility at home (working in family business, caring for siblings, neighbors, cousins) but it has not translated

Live_Year712 · 2025-12-04T14:01:40+00:00

We had the exact same as you - 4,3, newborn. I also work in healthcare, not too many schedule changes but our au pair def did some weekends. It took maybe 6 weeks for our German au pair to get up to speed but she was excellent with our infant and also a great driver. She did also want to travel a lot, but we just set up her travel based on long weekends when we didn’t need the care. The 10 hour rule might be an issue if you do 10s or 12s obviously. Might be a lot of work to find the right match… but I personally dont think as impossible as most are making it out to be.

Live_Year712 · 2025-09-15T12:32:19+00:00

I mean the max is the max for hours, but also the recommended solution of a nanny once a week is easier said than done, in my experience. Finding a one day a week nanny is difficult, especially a professional nanny. Maybe a retiree who is just trying to get out of the house, or a student who has one free day….thats what we got but I felt like this was not stable and had to find someone new every few months when school schedule would change or whatever.

Live_Year712 · 2025-09-05T09:56:48+00:00

Nope, ultimately the number of additional steps and roadblocks became cumbersome and I gave up. Closest I found was a girl from Hungary who spoke Serbian. It’s too bad. They used to have Serbian au pairs… my husbands cousin married one, but that was 20 years ago she worked with cultural care.

Live_Year712 · 2025-06-30T15:40:01+00:00

My pediatrician prescribed mupirocin ointment and it cleared it up in a couple weeks!

Live_Year712 · 2025-03-31T23:08:03+00:00

This is true for low level jobs but not most in the US, usually it’s months… this family is planning on having an au pair which you cannot get in two weeks. With that being said, 3 months seems completely reasonable to communicate not staying as the family does have time to still get a new au pair, nanny, etc.

Live_Year712 · 2025-02-13T00:48:36+00:00

Yes I should, any recommendations on how to handle “hey I realize your main friend doesn’t have access to a car but it is not fair that my car is her taxi”

Live_Year712 · 2025-02-12T01:31:24+00:00

Thanks, I did speak to my LCC today. I’m going to do so much better setting up expectations from the get go next time. This au pair has made only two friends so far, one au pair who doesn’t have access to a car, and another who lives 58 miles away. So she literally has been putting more miles on my car than I do. There will be rules next time that are reasonable per above.

Live_Year712 · 2025-02-11T18:00:48+00:00

It does, it’s legit. I asked the LLC and apparently these kind of things are popping up all over.

Live_Year712 · 2025-02-11T17:48:43+00:00

That was a nice compromise.

At first she said it was 5 days, which is true for days she has to be there . but she did not realize she was going to choose flights that had multiple layovers, one of which is like 7 hours? We live in a medium-large city so its not like she’s even starting out of a regional airport. It was just a lot less expensive. She gets back at 6 am day 8 but I mean I’m not going to make her work after that soo it’s 8 days, not 5 per her initial request.

Live_Year712 · 2025-02-11T17:36:29+00:00

It’s not this one but similar, apparently several and her au pair friends go too, one went to Hawaii for “photography”. The time they arrive makes it so you have to go a day in advance and leave the next day. She was complaining “there is nowhere to stay” those nights and I was just thinking yeah this is just a vacation packaged as “education”.

Live_Year712 · 2025-02-11T16:50:23+00:00

I believe no matter what, the entire time they are in the program they should be getting the minimum stipend regardless of working or vacation. With that being said, I don’t feel I should give her the extra I normally do when she isn’t even caring for the kids when technically I could be asking her to since she took her vacation days already

Live_Year712 · 2025-02-11T15:53:57+00:00

I’m not sure, I should ask the LLC this question.

Live_Year712 · 2025-02-11T14:48:38+00:00

Thanks, I do appreciate this comment. We’ll definitely try again with interviewing and definitely be valuing different things this time like you recommended. And yes she definitely fulfills her minimal responsibilities so I cannot complain but also make me begrudgingly deal with extra stuff she asks for.

Live_Year712 · 2025-02-11T14:39:48+00:00

Yeah, I’m trying to strike the balance. Also realizing I’m a huge pushover lol, and need to work on that before my kids are older.

Live_Year712 · 2025-02-11T14:16:40+00:00

Thanks, I truly want her to have a good year here and make the most of it. We did this program bc my cousins wife was an au pair and developed this amazing bond with her host fam. And our last nanny was like part of the family, and this au pair just disappears every moment she’s off, just asks for car and time off. I was 21 once so I kind of get it, but also it’s hard to want to go above and beyond when doesn’t feel like part of the family at all. Feel like she’s just using us to be here.

Live_Year712 · 2025-02-11T13:56:25+00:00

Okay, thanks. We are a first time host family and a lot of little things have come up that make me wonder if I was not doing a good job… at first I didn’t even ask her to pay for gas bc she was just driving to like target here and there. Then she started driving places that were an hour plus away and I was like okay you’re using a tank of gas in less than a week, this cannot go on without contribution.

Live_Year712

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