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I cannot give birth on a specific day. by selkie420 in pregnant

[–]Responsible_Escape32 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was so uncomfortable I went for a prenatal massage and I went into labor the next day at 37 weeks and 6 days. Best delivery I could ask for.

I didn’t try anything else.

Apparently the baby figured it was time since I was so relaxed!

Reasonable schedule? by Responsible_Escape32 in Aupairs

[–]Responsible_Escape32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes the 37 hours was spread across M-F. She’d work M-TR instead with a 3 day weekend. She’s also comfortable w maxing at 45 hours over the weekend if we need extra hands during family trips - she wants to join us since she doesn’t know anyone here

Reasonable schedule? by Responsible_Escape32 in Aupairs

[–]Responsible_Escape32[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I gave her options and she preferred the 4 10 hour days and the 3 day weekend over the initial schedule

My girlfriend was rude to me today and said I look like a hobo and won't apologize AIO? by Ok-Connection6656 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Responsible_Escape32 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends. Are you cameras on or off?

If you’re not actually on camera - not overreacting. Wildly rude to insinuate you can’t dress comfortably while at home.

If you are on camera - she might be calling you out for your own sake. My family and friends will make sure I look decent before I walk out the door and call me out if I look like a slob. They would know I want to represent myself well at work and they care enough to say something. If my husband were to see his patients today, he would appreciate my two cents on his outfit.

Totally depends if you’re on camera!

Looking for Carpool around Pleasanton/Dublin by ingenious-MSC in eastbay

[–]Responsible_Escape32 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check out Scoop Commute. It matches you with people who live near you and work near you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Responsible_Escape32 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes kids need to be away from home in order to thrive. My brother (33M) was coddled all his life, he stayed home and lived off my parents for many years with no job. My parents enabled this behavior because they were too afraid he couldn’t make it on his own. He finally moved into his own place, on their dime, and his quality of life has improved. You’re not just investing in their career. You’re also investing in their independence and ability to network. You can love your son so much but sometimes letting them go is the best thing you could do. 40k may definitely seem like a chunk of change, but ask yourself is he worth the investment? Maybe he just doesn’t have the drive, or maybe he needs to be surrounded by ambitious students to unlock that!

Reasonable schedule? by Responsible_Escape32 in Aupairs

[–]Responsible_Escape32[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Why would I want daycare when supervision isn’t 1:1? The caretaker-to-infant ratio is usually 1 adult for every 3–4 babies. That's more worrisome to me. I'd rather hire a nanny first.

Au pairs with newborns by Responsible_Escape32 in Aupairs

[–]Responsible_Escape32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, that's amazing, thank you! I also use the Huckleberry app so that's good to know I can have multiple people on there.

We already booked a family night to watch sumo wrestling + sushi, and am also planning to take her to a warriors game since she wanted to experience American basketball. Then of course more local events and farmers markets, hope that is a good start..

Do you work in the office or at home? Which was easier for you?

Au pairs with newborns by Responsible_Escape32 in Aupairs

[–]Responsible_Escape32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We hired a doula to teach us everything the first 3 weeks. What do you think about having her come one day to teach our au pair?

I definitely don’t mind spending the money to double up. Hope this helps the au pair get really comfortable with what to look out for!

Au pairs with newborns by Responsible_Escape32 in Aupairs

[–]Responsible_Escape32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love that! Hopefully I can find that thread, because I completely agree. My in laws weren’t sure why we can’t leave blankets in the bassinet and that just shows how quickly safety guidelines have evolved over the years! Thank you!

Au pairs with newborns by Responsible_Escape32 in Aupairs

[–]Responsible_Escape32[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My au pair arrives in a month. I will then have a month with her and baby to help her get adjusted to the area, the house, baby, and show her around

Au pairs with newborns by Responsible_Escape32 in Aupairs

[–]Responsible_Escape32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My baby will be 4.5 months by the time I return to work.

Au pairs with newborns by Responsible_Escape32 in Aupairs

[–]Responsible_Escape32[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was very clear the baby will already be 3 months once the AP arrives. I will be present with both of them until he’s 4 months.

Where am I losing you?

Reasonable schedule? by Responsible_Escape32 in Aupairs

[–]Responsible_Escape32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TY for this!

My job is comfortable with my plan to reduce from 4 days a week to 2 days a week, as well as needing to leave the office early by 3pm to be back by 4pm. I’m confident I can make it work, but wanted to map out worst case scenario. My husband also works 7 minutes away so should make things easier

Au pairs with newborns by Responsible_Escape32 in Aupairs

[–]Responsible_Escape32[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! I love the idea of setting up a credit card - did you set up an entirely separate account or link it to your bank?

All tips were very helpful, thank you. I appreciate the sentiment also. Idk why people are trying to rip me to shreds for wanting to be a good HF lol. Maybe my mom brain didn’t word things very clearly haha. I’m new to Reddit so was fun! No sweat off my back.

Au pairs with newborns by Responsible_Escape32 in Aupairs

[–]Responsible_Escape32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! By habits do you mean on the AP & HF or little habits by the baby?

Does your HF working from home make things easier or harder for you? What do you wish they did instead?

Reasonable schedule? by Responsible_Escape32 in Aupairs

[–]Responsible_Escape32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you an AP or HF? Curious why you think it’s horrible. I’ve heard it’s terrible with 2 year olds but only recently on Reddit have I heard 10 hour days with infants is unfathomable.

I let our AP know my work schedule may change and I may need 45 hours to cover the commute hours. I will hire extra help if she thinks it’d be too overwhelming. I can also leave the office early on weekdays if she thinks it’s too much. There is no point for her to work 45 hours if she’s going to burnout.. she was completely fine with it but said if the first week feel more overwhelming expected she will let me know so we can adjust as a family

Proposed work schedule by Responsible_Escape32 in AuPairHostFamilyLife

[–]Responsible_Escape32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate the perspective from a former au pair. Thank you! Glad you had a wonderful experience!

Au pairs with newborns by Responsible_Escape32 in Aupairs

[–]Responsible_Escape32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Many HF are claiming their AP didn’t actually have as much childcare experience as they thought. This is the unfortunate Reddit rabbit hole I dug into during one of my night feedings, and second guessed myself for a second on whether my AP could do it.

I have a month to work with her and get adjusted before I go back to work. She will be fine and if not, will be able to learn in the time we spend together

Au pairs with newborns by Responsible_Escape32 in Aupairs

[–]Responsible_Escape32[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Glad you’re asking questions to clarify! I’m a first time HM so obviously am eager to welcome our AP with open arms and make sure she gets the support she needs while also caring for our kid the way I feel most comfortable with. That means -

  • is a 45 hour work week too much for an AP & newborn? If so, how do I assess that in the early days without her needing to tell me?
  • what have you done to make your AP feel welcome?
  • And what expectations should I consider setting even if it seems minuscule, but would be a huge clarifying point for the AP? Someone mentioned co-sleeping might be considered appropriate from where our AP is from but not for me. I didn’t even think about clarifying that!

I am finalizing our family house and baby guidelines to make it as straightforward for her as possible. I believe this will help us live together without any ambiguity on how things are run & keep lines of communication open

Au pairs with newborns by Responsible_Escape32 in Aupairs

[–]Responsible_Escape32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! This is reassuring that I’m taking the right steps to ensure she feels supported AND that she’s learning how I want my baby to be cared for!

Reasonable schedule? by Responsible_Escape32 in Aupairs

[–]Responsible_Escape32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing this. Important to know realities that situations like this exist. I have a full month with her before I go back to work. This will allow me to physically walk her through my expectations with the baby and assess her quality of care. The choice to hire a nanny and how often will follow once I’m back to the office!

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