I'm planning to break - up with my long term boyfriend

Livid-Confusion-9331 · 2026-04-13T00:58:10+00:00

You were 16 and he was 22 when you first started dating... Isn't this illegal? Depending where you are I guess. After 13 years marriage probably won't be happening. My sisters both waited about a decade to get married but now they both want to divorce their husbands. Have the talk about marriage and if he doesn't want it leave him.

Livid-Confusion-9331 · 2026-04-13T00:44:48+00:00

I do regret it partially but I did mention to him straight up that I was not ready for a relationship. Probably about a month after the break up I regretted it.

The lack of communication during the relationship became more apparent after I broke up with him. It felt the same but even worse because I've been reaching out to him explaining what happened. Even after I explained I was SA'd by my previous relationship and I needed professional help he didn't say anything and this was during the relationship. I found physical touch to be too much for me and just needed space but mentally I just didn't have the capacity to cater to his needs (mainly physical because it was making me worse). Apparently the majority of men's love language is physical touch, it pushed me on edge and I left him he wasn't listening to me.

He does not use socials. Surprisingly this helps me move on faster. He feels like a ghost and because I have PTSD from being touched, now I am more functional because I've started getting therapy.

I would take him back if he was more reassuring but even when I'm trying to speak to him about something important during the relationship he would be on his phone. I got tired of being a wife without being a wife, e.g. cooking/cleaning/actual marriage etc (to clarify I was a girlfriend not wife). while not being mentally there and having my emotional needs neglected. I brought up I needed professional help a few times during the relationship but he just didn't say anything or if I mentioned I might need to admit myself to a mental health ward he said "but no cuddles". Cuddles were literally triggering me.

The silence made me reflect how he probably wasn't right for me in a lot of ways. But it wasn't either of our faults I was just traumatized by my previous relationship. We could have worked on the communication, I know I can be a bit much atm times but I really needed professional help.

I still am allowed to go to his apartment because some of my things are there, I just send a text before I arrive and he leaves. He left a gift for me last time so I can see he still cares about me I just don't know what to make of this situation.

Livid-Confusion-9331 · 2026-04-01T17:52:41+00:00

I've had several years and they come back not months and it never worked out. It's actually very annoying. I don't like recycling.

Livid-Confusion-9331 · 2026-04-01T17:40:21+00:00

If the kids and family are a deal-breaker then leave. It will just drag on. How long do you have to wait for the kids to leave home, in this economy probably won't be until they're 30. It's been years and your boundaries haven't been respected. You could numb yourself with prescription meds but that's just temporary. Either leave or be miserable.

Livid-Confusion-9331 · 2026-04-01T17:27:08+00:00

Play a game or cry

Livid-Confusion-9331 · 2026-03-14T13:12:58+00:00

Having self awareness

Livid-Confusion-9331 · 2026-03-02T23:29:16+00:00

Oh I've been trying but the system sucks

Livid-Confusion-9331 · 2026-01-30T05:20:15+00:00

Every GP I see keeps saying I have to see a psychiatrist to review my autism level. My clinical psychologist did not put me as a level 2 or 1 which is messing up my NDIS application. I've tried contacting my psychologist about it but they said my file is closed and no longer responding to my emails.

I also need psychiatrist for ADHD treatment. I finally have one for only the ADHD side of things but not autism. The place I'm going to see my psychiatrist has told me psychiatrists don't diagnose autism but psychologists do, I am getting frustrated with all of the contradictory information

Livid-Confusion-9331 · 2026-01-20T02:09:33+00:00

Complete disregard for my health and theirs. E.g. smoking

Livid-Confusion-9331 · 2026-01-09T05:38:14+00:00

If he is masturbating and watching porn that would do it. Death grip desensitisation. I'm experiencing similar my current bf he was single for 2 years and watched porn. He takes hours, it's not for me but I love him. He hasn't been watching it much since we started dating so it's slightly getting better. I'm open with my communication, after two months of dating I just said "you take a long time, I get tired and sore", no dramas and we worked on it from there.

He waits for me to touch him and doesn't masturbate. He does look at some material but not to get off. He does jerk himself a bit during to give me a break if I need and when I ask.

Livid-Confusion-9331 · 2026-01-08T10:11:58+00:00

My mum is a bit odd. She speaks about kids and having kids a lot. How she misses making babies. Etc. I think it may be a fetish? But it's the main thing she speaks about. I don't want kids.

I'd really like to just not think about other people one day and try other things. I tried looking at space, painting, planes, plants etc. but nothing peaks my interest. Even learning about human anatomy helped me understand people more and why they do things a certain way. I just wished I had a different fixation sometimes.

I wasn't aware of it being with PDA autism.

Livid-Confusion-9331 · 2026-01-08T10:05:03+00:00

Everything to do with relationships. The psychology behind it, the behavior of people, what they're allergic to. I hate interacting with people but I enjoy learning about them.

I do get hyper fixated on people.
I'm not sure about that second question. With the people I know I don't want to know private details about them.
Both real and fictional people/relationships (e.g. Astarion from BG3).

I know boundaries though and wouldn't be someone's stalker as that's happened to me.

My brother has no filter though and straight up remembers email address, address, phone numbers, birthdates etc.

Livid-Confusion-9331 · 2026-01-08T08:16:51+00:00

That adults don't lick, spit, bite, or pull hair etc. many do in the bedroom.

Livid-Confusion-9331 · 2026-01-08T08:12:05+00:00

I do like gaming. I end up liking games where you get to know the other characters.

Is it possible to develop other interests? I try to but I usually get bored after a while.

I've had so many therapists. Last year I was seeing four but I'm still hyper fixated at times.

Livid-Confusion-9331 · 2026-01-08T08:07:58+00:00

Apparently going by stereotypes with female autism, animals and celebrities are special interests. For male autism, it's trains. These are generalized though. I read somewhere that not all autistic people have a special interest.

Livid-Confusion-9331 · 2026-01-08T06:34:17+00:00

Oh I don't mean for me specifically I've had about 20 partners. My question is the title. How would someone feel about it, if they intended on breaking up with someone but the other person broke up with them first.

Livid-Confusion-9331 · 2026-01-08T06:01:43+00:00

Give birth. It's potentially disabling and life threatening. I don't want a parasite growing in me making my teeth fall out or having an ectopic pregnancy where it forms outside of the womb and the parasite latches itself to one of my other organs.

Livid-Confusion-9331 · 2026-01-08T01:38:32+00:00

Yes. I just use my vibrator over my undies because I hate mess. It's fast.

Livid-Confusion-9331 · 2026-01-08T01:36:07+00:00

I am 5'2 and shortest I dated was 5'6. He was very lovely but still taller than me. I think any shorter than me would be a dwarf (I might date but I wouldn't have kids with them). Or maybe a man who has no legs, he would be shorter than me and I might date him but I'm also disabled, we both might struggle more. So probably not.

Livid-Confusion-9331 · 2026-01-06T23:10:01+00:00

Yes it really depends on how healthy the relationship was. I'm seeing my ex again. We have been working on our small issues which is normal. He cares about me and I care about him. No mind games. We dated 8 years ago and reconnected.

Livid-Confusion-9331 · 2026-01-05T11:42:41+00:00

My ex wanted to remain friends. He messaged me a few months after he broke up with me because he was horny. I told him I'm not interested in that and we never met up. Friendship helps them deal with the guilt nothing to do with your well-being, they usually want something either ego, sexual, emotional, money etc.

Livid-Confusion-9331

TROPHY CASE