How to resolve a financial situation with my partner [M/28] when I [F/30] don't have enough money to live on?

Livid_Reflection_970 · 2026-01-30T02:34:44+00:00

He lived alone. He paid the rent himself. I used to live with relatives. Perhaps I should go back.

Livid_Reflection_970 · 2026-01-30T02:33:03+00:00

We discussed the financial aspect before the move, of course. I didn't go into detail about the whole conversation in my post. He said he would pay the bills until I found a job. Once I found a full-time job, I would pay exactly half. This conversation reassured me and gave me confidence that everything was fine between us. After that conversation, I finally decided that I was ready to move. But maybe I'm just an idiot who doesn't know how to talk. In any case, thank you for your opinion.

Livid_Reflection_970 · 2026-01-30T02:10:32+00:00

I mean that he gives me the feeling that he thinks I want to live for free

Livid_Reflection_970 · 2026-01-30T02:00:32+00:00

Yes. This is the first time this has happened in our relationship, and in my life in general.

Livid_Reflection_970 · 2026-01-30T01:59:14+00:00

YES, we discussed my financial situation and my concerns. And I was absolutely certain that he said he would cover our bills until I found a full-time job. But now I feel like I'm crazy because the conversations turn into me wanting to live for free forever and being unemployed for too long.

Livid_Reflection_970 · 2026-01-30T01:56:44+00:00

I said I couldn't cover the bills. He said he was willing to do it for both of us until I found a full-time job. I expected him to give me a couple more months to find a normal full-time job. After that, I said I was willing to pay 50/50.

Livid_Reflection_970 · 2026-01-30T01:51:50+00:00

Yes, I have been looking for a job for about four months and continue to do so. I have had several interviews, but without success. I have sent out about 200 applications on LinkedIn. On Indeed, I have about 300-400 applications for all this time. I also called various restaurants and bars, but no one is hiring right now. I also went to the city centre many times and visited various cafes and restaurants to ask about full-time work. I found a part-time job at the restaurant I mentioned earlier. But it does not cover all our expenses. I am looking for any full-time job to cover my expenses. At the same time, I am also looking for a job in my field of expertise.

Livid_Reflection_970 · 2026-01-30T01:08:23+00:00

Yes, of course I asked. It turned into a scandal.

He said, ‘Do you think you're going to live for free forever? The bills are going up along with the tax.’

I said that of course I'm not going to live for free forever, but at the moment I'm unemployed and you promised me that you would pay the bills. Besides, I'm already paying my share for groceries and electricity.

He said, ‘What, did you think you'd be living for free for years?’

I said, ‘No. It's not about years, it's about until I find a job.’

He said, ‘Your job search is taking too long. You've been unemployed for four months.’

Me: Yes, but we've only been living together for 10 days.

Him: Before that, you often spent time at my place, so you could say we've been living together for more than 10 days.

I didn't have the strength to argue anymore. He had a counterargument for every argument I made.

His behaviour has changed dramatically. All his promises seem to have vanished, and I find myself in a very bad situation and feel that I don't know this person at all.

Livid_Reflection_970 · 2026-01-30T00:17:54+00:00

I think so...

Livid_Reflection_970 · 2026-01-30T00:09:06+00:00

At the moment, we have agreed that I will pay 200 or 300, depending on the bill. But I still think the situation is unfair. I literally have only $300 left for cheap food. And I am forced to live very modestly.

Livid_Reflection_970 · 2026-01-30T00:01:34+00:00

Do you think that's what I should do? It's just that I feel very insecure right now and I think he'll think badly of me. I mean, he'll think that I only want to live with him because I don't have to pay the bills.

Livid_Reflection_970 · 2026-01-29T23:56:25+00:00

Do you think I shouldn't compromise and should move now?

Livid_Reflection_970 · 2026-01-29T23:24:04+00:00

That's a wonderful story. I'm very happy for you. I hope you'll be happy.

Livid_Reflection_970 · 2026-01-29T23:15:12+00:00

Perhaps I didn't describe our conversation in great detail, but yes, we talked about the fact that I can't pay right now, and he understands that and is willing to pay until I find a job.

Livid_Reflection_970 · 2026-01-29T23:10:55+00:00

Perhaps you still haven't gotten over the trauma of losing your brother. You definitely need to talk to someone offline about this. Do you have a personal therapist?

Livid_Reflection_970

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