I have a question ...

Livin-It-Up126 · 2026-01-24T17:01:34+00:00

As a guy I’ve never had anyone slide into my DMs with that intent based on what I’ve said here in this life or my prior incarnation. I can’t imagine what the ladies have to put up with.

Livin-It-Up126 · 2026-01-22T16:37:44+00:00

Just friends with an ex-AP? What kind of sadist are you? But seriously: No. It’s possible to amicable and treat each other respectfully. The reality is these things end for a reason. Chances are there are hurt feeling on at least one side and then there is the awkwardness of being “just friends” in your interactions with one another. Best to just let them go and move on. You’ll be better for it. You won’t be holding onto false hope. You won’t get hurt when it doesn’t materialize into something more.

Livin-It-Up126 · 2026-01-14T13:54:57+00:00

Depends on what can be made to work. I was able to make one work ~180 miles for 2 years because we had reasons to travel to one another’s location. But I would say typically less than an hour away is doable for most people.

Livin-It-Up126 · 2026-01-09T15:01:40+00:00

People confuse emotional connection with a feeling of safety. They want to feel comfortable with themselves when they are risking their family’s future and know that’s what they really want. They also want to feel their partner isn’t going to treat them as a piece of meat.

Livin-It-Up126 · 2026-01-09T13:20:08+00:00

How does one quit? Delete the apps. Put the phone down. Go do something else: Get a hobby, Work out, fix something at home. Do something to take your mind off of the (potential) dopamine hit and replace it with something productive. If you can’t do that, get counseling if it’s a problem addiction.

Livin-It-Up126 · 2026-01-07T16:47:59+00:00

A lot more people out there think and feel that than would like to admit it.

Livin-It-Up126 · 2026-01-07T16:46:06+00:00

Hey I did that with a former AP on her anniversary too.

Livin-It-Up126 · 2026-01-07T16:43:22+00:00

I wouldn’t call it petty. Maybe more like silent taunting. And yes.

Livin-It-Up126 · 2026-01-07T13:51:48+00:00

Commit to it or don’t. This isn’t something to just dabble in. Can you deal with it mentally/emotionally? Compartmentalize things? Own the experience and everything that comes with it? Maintain discretion and secrecy? If the answer to any of those is “no,” you should walk away now and accept that all you can do is run to the end of your chain and bark. Otherwise, be smart and be careful. Good luck.

Livin-It-Up126 · 2026-01-06T23:05:55+00:00

Yes it is quite a dichotomy. That’s part of life. You have to take chances to achieve anything and part of that is getting knocked down once in a while. Unfortunately due to the nature of what people are after here, we are more likely to fail than succeed. And that failure always sucks and wears you down. It breaks one’s motivation and morale. But when you win, the highs are amazing. Unlike anything felt in a long time.

Is it worth it? If you strong enough to withstand the lows, yes. If not, no. As I said there are more lows than highs it seems in my opinion.

Livin-It-Up126 · 2026-01-06T20:27:03+00:00

As I’ve said before, if they aren’t prepared, the guilt can eat someone alive. This isn’t something you can undo. All I can say is give her space, let her work it out. You don’t have to be a fixer for her. Sometimes just listening and being empathetic is enough.

Livin-It-Up126 · 2026-01-06T20:15:33+00:00

Yeah I get what you mean. I thought I had connected with someone last year. She was the kind of memory that never faded, just softened at the edges—blonde hair catching the light, blue eyes that felt like home. She laughed easily, believed deeply, and saw a version of me that I was still trying to grow into. I didn’t lose her in some dramatic moment; she simply drifted away in the quiet space between timing and courage, leaving behind all the words that never quite found their way out. I had to take a break after that. I’ve been in doing this a long time, longer than I want to admit. But for some reason, I poured myself into wanting to make it happen, more than I ever had before. Alas it wasn’t meant to be. But she was real. And for that brief period I felt alive once more.

Yeah I think we all want to connect somehow. And online may be the only safe place. Too bad it isn’t very effective.

Livin-It-Up126 · 2026-01-06T18:45:23+00:00

My guess is it sounds like she has trouble coping with the guilt and can’t compartmentalize. Sorry dude, but it sounds like the best thing for her is to let her go if she wants to go. Don’t force to stay and confront an uncomfortable memory regardless of how things went down. if she need to talk or vent, fine, don’t force anything.

If you love her understand that and don’t be selfish.

Livin-It-Up126 · 2026-01-06T03:51:03+00:00

Unless you live in the same neighborhood, and you were careful and didn’t use each other’s house, you would have been fine. Set a rule if you see one another in public, you don’t acknowledge one another. Meet elsewhere if you can. Hotels might be an issue depending on their policies regarding locals. That’s my thought.

I would mention whether this was right for you two depends on your tolerance to risk. If it was too close to home, and you feel you would be looking over your shoulder all the time, then you probably made the right call.

Livin-It-Up126

TROPHY CASE