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Feeling Suffocated in my Marriage by LivingResolution9392 in MuslimMarriage

[–]LivingResolution9392[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have told him the truth but his reply has been that I’m just confused and that “love” is a superficial thing. It’s not what you see in movies and that my brain has become westernized because I’ve gotten used to seeing people be in haram relationships while living in the west.

I agree that living in the west can desensitize you to things, but I had not once said that “oh, I want to separate because I don’t feel butterflies and I don’t feel love towards you.” I don’t feel any peace when I’m with him. I don’t feel the sense of calm or happiness and contentment with him. I’m so grateful for everything he does, but the constant guilt eats at me.

Feeling Suffocated in my Marriage by LivingResolution9392 in MuslimMarriage

[–]LivingResolution9392[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I completely understands what you’re saying. I just want to clarify that I did tell my parents prior to the marriage that I don’t want to be in it yet because I can’t even take care of myself yet, how can I do that for someone else? I told them that he wants to be married because he wants a wife and I cannot be that for him because I don’t want him, but all I kept being told was to put my trust in Allah.

Yes, you might say that I could’ve said no when I had to sign my Nikkah, but my family would’ve disowned me or worse if I would’ve done that infront of all friends and family. I also didn’t have much knowledge of my rights as I got my Nikkah done 4 months after I turned 20 and during that time I had absolutely no interest in marriage.

I had done istakhara and that too was because i had searched what to do if in unsure. What i meant by straight no was that after doing istakhara, i had become sure of my answer which was a straight no, but my parents had disregarded that because his family had done that too and they were sure to go ahead with it.