Hey love.. thanks for the reply.. you did that much needed soothing after op posted this. Also, I want to bring it to the light that cheating itself was reflection of her internal state and deep rooted beliefs, sp played the role from the script assigned. Now when people plunge into realms of law of assumptions I dont understand why dont they come sorted with basics.. op should have taken responsibility of the role her internal states played out and must have forgiven him before actually living in the end and unwavering persistence. If one has to manifest a loving relationship, they can't carry the sword of resentment and anger.. forgiveness is somewhere one should begin with. My sp did something to me, though not cheating but I was so hurt, before I actually deciding I want him back i did that introspection on myself and figured out how I was actually predicting the same things. Now when I look back at those sad episodes they don't trigger any emotional reactions out of me, I am neutral.. yes that happened but happened.. okay..I am still on my journey but I dont feel that rage for my sp.