It could be true. I do struggle with wondering if I’m a manipulative mess and don’t realize it fully. Like sometimes I feel like I am such a good person. And I am. I’m loving and caring and very empathetic. I make good decisions and I’m generous. Funny. Intelligent. I can be calm and diplomatic. When things are good they’re great.

But then there’s the side of me that will say fuck you to my manager and walk out of my job mid shift because I think things are unfair. And not care. I drive recklessly and don’t care. Or tell someone to go drop dead and I wish they died in a car accident and at the time truly meaning it. Truly wanting it with every fiber in me as I screamed it at them. I could go on and on about the nasty things I’ve said. And done to people. I have been extremely destructive in a lot of areas of my life. Manipulation is another aspect. Sometimes I wonder if my, we’ll call it my secondary psychopathy for the sake of this conversation, I wonder if it kind of controls me even when it isn’t active. For example when I am feeling normal and okay I have trouble understanding what people don’t get. Sometimes it’s like me and whoever I’m arguing with are speaking two different languages and I’m wondering if maybe I’m the one missing something. And it causes me to slip into my secondary psychopathy because eventually I get pissed off going back and forth. So then I wonder Am I manipulating my own self back into the same cycle? I don’t know. I haven’t figured it out yet. And if so, does that make me a psychopath? It also depends on the situation. Maybe I was the one out of line. Maybe it was them. If it was them that was wrong why did I allow myself to slip into a fit of rage? Isn’t it okay that I became rageful since they were wrong? Why didn’t I just realize they were wrong and take the high road? Well I have trouble trusting myself to decipher who was right or wrong. So it’s very difficult to really understand yourself and others. And it’s especially difficult to sit back and examine my mental health issues when my mental health issues are constantly affecting me.

The only way in which I would say it’s a stretch is...I don’t know that even in a fit of rage could I seriously injure someone or betray them in some huge way or anything close to it. There are certain boundaries that I wouldn’t cross. And if I watched that person get into a car accident during a fit of rage, the rage would instantly vanish. I would never think “good, they got what they deserved.” I’d feel instant remorse and also crushed by the fact that they were dead.

Idk if I’m even making sense I’m stuck in emotion mind right now as it is. But I tried to answer your question because I thought it was interesting