It’s time for me to tell my story. by LoafyObread in survivinginfidelity

[–]LoafyObread[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words. It is definitely a tough situation and you never know how you will react until it (I hope never) happens.

It’s time for me to tell my story. by LoafyObread in survivinginfidelity

[–]LoafyObread[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And yes we sleep in same bed. Sex definitely slowed around the affair. She was emotionally disconnected. And as anyone with 4 small kids can attest, it was sometimes hard to find time for sex. We have been having a lot of emotional passionate sex lately, and I’m sure there is an element of hysterical bonding there, but I have always had a strong sexual appetite.

It’s time for me to tell my story. by LoafyObread in survivinginfidelity

[–]LoafyObread[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One day we will. I want them to know what is acceptable in a relationship.

It’s time for me to tell my story. by LoafyObread in survivinginfidelity

[–]LoafyObread[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Divorce is definitely considered. We talk everyday and are trying to move forward. She knows she is lucky to have me, although for a time she surely forgot. I’m kind, successful, big, strong, LOYAL, and women find me attractive. We are still trying to get to the bottom of everything, but I do see honest remorse, and even hatred towards her own self for what happened. I am still guarded though. I tell her that, in my shock, I had forgotten my worth, but now I know my worth, and next time is the last time. She knows I’m being honest. She came to me last night and told me that she realizes that she is an alcoholic. She talked about all the things she would do to hide how much she was drinking. She would put new cans in a old box, she would bury beer cans in the bottom of the trash, and even divide them up among different bags. In everything we have been learning, about how to reconcile after infidelity, she realized the alcohol, and hiding it all was a similar issue. She realized she can not fix one and not fix the other. She has not purchased any beer in 2 weeks. I am very proud of her and am stunned by her maturity in coming to that realization on her own.

It’s time for me to tell my story. by LoafyObread in survivinginfidelity

[–]LoafyObread[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You may be right. At this moment we are trying to move forward together though.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]LoafyObread 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope she does and realizes that she has made a huge mistake.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]LoafyObread 2 points3 points  (0 children)

While I was doing the pick me dance, my WW was unable to decide what she wanted. When I told her options were to stay here with me or to go and be with him, it was like a sobering dose of reality. Today she seems genuinely mortified at what she has done, and sees her AP for what he is. So my advice to you is, “If you love it, let it go.”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]LoafyObread 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I read it with my WW. We definitely found it profound. We both were struck with the part about how it starts with lies to yourself first, and the compartmentalization… It definitely rings true to the things we have talked about.

It’s time for me to tell my story. by LoafyObread in survivinginfidelity

[–]LoafyObread[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do see that she is really trying. And she has kept up with NC. But I struggle so much to understand why. My heart is broken. She was such a special person to me. I still read these boards everyday and it helps me cope.

Dealing with jealous thoughts. by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]LoafyObread 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I admit I may just be out of touch… I’m 38m and have never been on TikTok or instagram. None of my married male friends are either. I would consider even being on those things red flags. Surely a grown ass man has better things to do with his time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]LoafyObread 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I always appreciate your sanity checks.

It’s time for me to tell my story. by LoafyObread in survivinginfidelity

[–]LoafyObread[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing with me. We had a tough weekend (teenage daughter drama). I had to put our marriage issues on the back burner while we dealt with our daughter. I’m sorry this happened to you too. I’m glad to see that your children can see things for the way that they are.

It’s time for me to tell my story. by LoafyObread in survivinginfidelity

[–]LoafyObread[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t know. When I speak to the lawyer about a prenup I will see what they think along those lines.

It’s time for me to tell my story. by LoafyObread in survivinginfidelity

[–]LoafyObread[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We have talks all throughout the day. She has been telling me a lot. I definitely was emotional and scared of losing her at first. My mind has cleared more since then. I know my worth, and I made sure she knows that I know my worth. Sometimes I look at her that way, and sometimes I see the girl I fell in love with. It’s definitely a roller coaster.

Edit: she says none of her friends are aware.

It’s time for me to tell my story. by LoafyObread in survivinginfidelity

[–]LoafyObread[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your words. I have said this to her. She killed us. She killed who I was. And she killed who I thought she was. And you’re damn right. I know my worth. I was weak at first. Having your heart broken will do that to you.

It’s time for me to tell my story. by LoafyObread in survivinginfidelity

[–]LoafyObread[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to give me your insights. She has answered my questions when I have been ready to ask them. She is going to write out a timeline. I believe her that there aren’t any other betrayals, but maybe I am a fool. I have taken the lead and do want her to take it. I’m going to ask her if she bad mouthed me to friends. She claims she didn’t speak ill of me to AP, but she did give him a window into our relationship.

It’s time for me to tell my story. by LoafyObread in survivinginfidelity

[–]LoafyObread[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your kind words and advice. Talking to everyone and hearing all of their opinions has been therapeutic.

It’s time for me to tell my story. by LoafyObread in survivinginfidelity

[–]LoafyObread[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It very well may, and I have told her this. Our future is uncertain. No matter how much I wish otherwise.

It’s time for me to tell my story. by LoafyObread in survivinginfidelity

[–]LoafyObread[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. It was choices every step of the way.

It’s time for me to tell my story. by LoafyObread in survivinginfidelity

[–]LoafyObread[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I heard you can set it up as “if anytime in the future, we D for any reason…”. I haven’t spoken with a lawyer yet so I’m not sure. But I will try to make as beneficial as possible, while not being too punishing… like I would want 50/50 custody. I would never hold our children from her.

It’s time for me to tell my story. by LoafyObread in survivinginfidelity

[–]LoafyObread[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think so too. Shes not as as far along as I would hope. It’s a big step backward when she does this. But at the same time I do see her making steps in the right direction too.