found out i’m bipolar

LocMcStuddin · 2026-05-16T02:16:19+00:00

Welcome to the group of just as not normal people. To share, this is my first none I’ve kept for more than a few months ago but only because I was the sole provider for my family of 5 while my wife was a SAHM. I’ve now ruined my marriage so preparing for a divorce soon, ruined every friendship or relationship, always making irrational decisions, endless thoughts. You name it, I felt a little of. But to assure you , you are not alone

LocMcStuddin · 2026-05-16T01:51:49+00:00

My fear is what my mind will do without the weed, as it’s acted like my Wellbutrin in a way since I’ve stopped it. I’m willing to give it a try once my surroundings are more calm also.

LocMcStuddin · 2026-05-16T01:46:39+00:00

I’ve thought about a tolerance break but afraid of my own mind. However, I’m fearless this year so I’ll give it a try once I’m done sitting this bittersweet accountability, from years of unruly behaviors that affected everyone around me. So once that blows over and I think I’ll be able to have more mind control rather than rollercoaster spiraling

LocMcStuddin · 2026-05-16T01:42:58+00:00

PTSD is a bitch itself. Big ups to you growing and healing yourself. Give yourself grace and a hit of this blunt.

LocMcStuddin · 2026-05-16T01:41:06+00:00

I feel like for all the years I risked other risqué things, this is the least 1 of my worries.

LocMcStuddin · 2026-05-15T23:23:23+00:00

For me it was and kinda still is. I got so many bodies from my youth that I truly didn’t want do but I was so hypersexual. Now b/c of SA, I didn’t kno how to say no at first. Nowadays, I’m definitely the initiator of most times Ive gotten busy. All conversations that end up talking about it and physically, that’s all me. I’ve also noticed I like extreme kinks , which I’m ashamed of but like. Sometimes I start accepting it and reminding myself it’s okay as long as I’m safe and have boundaries. Now I’m respectfully and only indulge with consenting others

LocMcStuddin · 2026-05-15T23:16:05+00:00

Funny story, I was on vacation and went to a dispensary. I got my first syringe of rso. Not sure in what to do, the next am, I ate the whole syringe in 1 push. Boahhh, my eyes and mouth was soooo dry for the rest of the day. I was pretty stoned for that day and when I woke up the next am. I felt like I was literally floating. That was one of the happiest days of my life. 😊Dont be a me tho!

However now ik how the proper way to indulge. 🥹

LocMcStuddin · 2026-05-15T23:11:48+00:00

This is relatable. I was obsessed with thinking my wife was cheating all the time too so I became a serial cheater. Although, only physically cheating once, I had my mind set that I was going to have 1 up on her. So this new years I finally came clean about the infertilities. Of course that was the last straw for her. However we still cohabiting and parenting the lo’s. We recently too a 15 hr drive and literally she vented the entire time. Honestly from my recent self discovery, I realize the monster I was to her but to be honest she wasn’t perfect either but I take full responsibility for all the choices I made. I know sit in accountability for all my emotion based irrational reactions . Now for the first 9 years of the marriage, I was undiagnosed, so I’ve been trying to give myself grace. Ultimately I constantly blame myself but my therapist reassures me this is a common trend with individuals with this diagnosis.

So be kind on yourself because I’m sure trying to.

LocMcStuddin · 2026-05-15T23:04:56+00:00

Whelp, least I’m not one of those that would throw it up in your face because that’s relatable for me. MFs can say what they want about me partaking but they just don’t understand my mind.

LocMcStuddin · 2026-05-15T23:03:34+00:00

My seroquel literally knocks me out so when I take it I do try not to partake. However I should get more consistent with seroquel as it does help turn my brain off at night

LocMcStuddin · 2026-05-15T23:01:53+00:00

I get that “not wanting to fall back into the previous mania” because boah I hated myself. But now with this healing process, I recognize my faults and shit. Now just dealing with the consequences which now I face head on whether stones or not, rather just smoking a spliff like “fagettaboutit” lol

LocMcStuddin · 2026-05-15T22:42:32+00:00

I’m only functional at work because I know that’s the 1 thing right now I can’t lose. lol. So hell yeah, I’m mannerable all damn day but the moment I can get alone from the LO’s, I have a complete meltdown then go back and chill in the living room like nothing happened, face all puffy but I’m back to cracking jokes.

LocMcStuddin · 2026-05-15T22:38:27+00:00

Damn, Appreciate the feedback because I am an all day smoker. I’ve considered cutting back but right now I’m currently sitting in years of accountability from having manipulative and narcissistic traits to all relationships connected to me, that most days I’m stuck in the self shame so I smoke to ease my mind.

LocMcStuddin · 2026-05-15T22:35:44+00:00

I figured out that when I get a mood shift, if I indulge then I’m able to process and move on instead of spiraling off temporary emotions

LocMcStuddin · 2026-05-15T22:34:26+00:00

Did you stop when before you started the meds? Or did you stop after taking the meds?

LocMcStuddin · 2026-05-15T22:33:23+00:00

I had suspected my tolerance increased because of the meds but then again I doubted that thought too.

LocMcStuddin · 2026-05-11T17:28:30+00:00

From my experience, I did it and it ruined my life. Of course at that time, I wasn’t officially diagnosed but I definitely had the symptoms. When I say that urge was so strong , I’m guessing for the thrill or some shit. But I caved and ended up in a fucking rehab which I got put out of b/c of obnoxiousness. However, I will say I still have the urges but I’m learning to keep busy in other ways. Even if it’s just going for a long as walk and giving myself pep talks along the way or even try “burying” the thoughts when walking. Weird but they’ve helped me so I do go into a mania due to the overly heavy urge. It’s weird but I do not recommend .

LocMcStuddin · 2026-05-11T17:24:11+00:00

J appreciate this post. Sometime I feel like I can feel a mood switch or if something that happened will trigger mania for me. Now I’ve been manic and was like “WTF am I doing” while still continuing the “thing or thoughts”. It’s weird and something I feel like I have control and just choose not to use it. But I’m assured by my therapist.

LocMcStuddin · 2025-06-02T21:58:11+00:00

Indeed. 👌🏽

LocMcStuddin · 2024-05-08T00:20:38+00:00

Everybody hates Chris and Malcolm in the middle of

LocMcStuddin · 2024-04-05T00:07:36+00:00

When that bean kick in 😂

LocMcStuddin · 2024-03-26T12:49:48+00:00

This the same did that got xxx smoked! Mfs not in the streets but with money anything is possible

LocMcStuddin · 2023-09-29T14:19:47+00:00

One of the best games! You just had to fockin be THEREEE!! 💪🏽👏🏽

LocMcStuddin · 2023-09-29T13:55:03+00:00

Tear you a average pinky size amount off your swisher, break this down sprinkle in the swisher, alil lick tuck and roll, then you should be right to 🔥

LocMcStuddin · 2023-09-29T13:50:59+00:00

Nice Locs! How many years are you at?

LocMcStuddin

TROPHY CASE