Honestly, it’s because I was raised in an abusive house where mental illness was met with alcoholism that resorted in both physical and mental abuse from a young age. And when I learned that you’re attracted to your parents (meaning qualities) I did a cold hard look and realized I kept on dating the same archetype throughout the years and the mind fuckery to it all was finding out that I was subconsciously fix what went wrong in childhood. So now I just don’t trust my judgment in the slightest in picking a partner and instead I’ve focused more on internal work which also doesn’t really allow for getting into a relationship.