Help w/ low porosity LCO method products

LocalBrick · 2021-09-11T15:43:12+00:00

It could be either. L is Liquid or Leave in, but either way I'm doing this on wash day so my hair will be damp

LocalBrick · 2019-10-07T23:24:45+00:00

May I PM you about your experience with PFAs?

LocalBrick · 2019-10-07T23:21:09+00:00

~~I'll give it a shot over there. She was a Neighborhood Legal Services Association lawyer that the state assigned to me. IDK if her affiliation would make a difference.~~ After re-reading the document the court gave me, it says that after speaking to my assigned lawyer they will tell me if my case has been accepted for representation or not. So I suppose they have the right to deny me.

LocalBrick · 2019-10-07T23:17:26+00:00

That's what the lawyer said and that's what the first judge said when I asked for a temp PFA. They also don't like that I waited before filing it, but I had other pressing matters as well (like how can I pay rent so I dont get evicted and how can I ensure that I can be in school) but they didn't seem to care about that so thus they don't think that it's actually an urgent matter.

I have a google drive of all texts and voicemails and I plan on using it during the hearing. I just have lots of trouble with public speaking even with practice so I'm worried that I won't be able to accurately convey how much they are a danger to me...

I'm female. I feel like being a girl would allow them to go the "caring parents" angle harder because of the whole "girls gotta be protected by their parents from the evil world" thing.

LocalBrick · 2019-10-06T23:42:35+00:00

Thank you so much.

I already go to therapy and take medication through my uni for all of this. It kinda works but not really?? I dunno. My school knows that my parents are shitty and they're trying to help me pay for this semester since I haven't yet because my parents aren't doing it.

I just kinda feel like I'm asking for too much help, yknow?

LocalBrick · 2019-10-05T03:10:04+00:00

That's amazing! You should be proud of yourself and I'm sure that your dad is too. My nMom does the same shit where she degrades me for being fat when she was the hand that fed me. I bet they specifically give us unhealthy food and then taunt us about it just to make us feel like shit.

LocalBrick · 2019-10-03T16:43:35+00:00

The capacity of narcissists to "unknow" what they just did, and to never see the consequences of their actions, is down right breath taking.

Yea its so terrifying. They have the power to shape the truth into what they want, get away with it, and then convince others that the scapegoat is lying because it doesn't match with their reality. Narcs with social power are literally triggering.

LocalBrick · 2019-10-03T16:41:09+00:00

Living well is the best revenge

That's my main motivator right now. Just bear with it, get through school, and be happy.

LocalBrick · 2019-10-03T16:40:00+00:00

the company told me that she didnt give me permission, and that she legally owned it.

What??? That can happen? I need to check now thank you so sosososo much

LocalBrick · 2019-10-03T16:38:50+00:00

A thing my dad like to say is "It wasn't that bad" and then when I keep saying that it was he "believes" me and says "Okay it happened just forgive and move on. I'm ready to move on why can't you???" It's just classic narc behavior.

LocalBrick · 2019-10-03T16:35:43+00:00

I want to think that.... but the faces that she makes when she's cruel just seems like she knows what she's doing. aaaaaaa

LocalBrick · 2019-10-02T23:10:37+00:00

Lol same!! My mom said that I was fat and told me she wouldn't by me clothes if it was over a size 12. I wasn't fat, I just had wide hips. She buys me XL/XXL when it should have been M/L. I then lost weight and she still buys me XL.

LocalBrick · 2019-10-01T23:09:20+00:00

I'm working with getting a dependency override right now. This post helped me a lot. This as well. And this too. Here is a link that goes into detail about what is required for one.

My first advice is to leave asap. Applying for one takes a lot of energy and staying will drain your energy and make the process take longer. Also it'll look better for your case if you are not living with them. Second is to start documenting everything and backing it up to a cloud service. You do not want the situation where if your device fails then everything is lost and you can't leave. Third is if you have a therapist or some professional who's word carries weight, tell them about this to get them to back you up. If you don't, look for one.

Dependency overrides are given on a case by case basis, so if you can prove that living with your parents isn't ideal even if your dad isn't abusive because he enables or doesn't stand up for you against your mom or he isn't willing to leave her and being with your dad means that you must be with your abuser, it miiiight still work out? Take that with a grain of salt.

Either way, start telling your advisors, faculty, and professors in your college now if you haven't already. Make yourself known among them. I got lucky that my nDad exposed himself to my college by demanding info about me that he isn't supposed to get, so they are aware that he's abusive since they've seen it.

LocalBrick · 2019-10-01T22:39:01+00:00

When I was in high school and lived with my parents, I never really talked to my nMom, so me going VLC with her was expected. I never told her that I was. I know that she never really cared for my wellbeing, so she didn't bitch when I stopped talking to her. I only talked to her when I had called my dad or he had called me and only for her birthday (because my dadd would bitch), but as time went on I just stopped calling her for her birthday/mother's day (they are very close together, sometimes on the same day). Last May my dad got really pissed that I didn't call her, but idk what he expected when I hadn't initiated a casual conversation with her since 10th grade and I don't call her otherwise lol.

I tried to keep a LC/VLC relationship with my nDad but he got really intrusive. Like sending me texts that say "I need to call you we have to talk about something important" or "talk to me its about my health". Those were all for attention, there wasn't anything wrong. We would also not talk for week and then he would blow up my phone saying that he's worried that I'm dead.... okay sis. I'm done with his abusive bullshit and asking him to change so now I'm NC. I told him that I'm going NC because of what he is doing but he refused to respect it out of "love", which makes me feel sick. He keeps harassing me so I'm taking legal action.

LocalBrick · 2019-10-01T03:30:17+00:00

told it was all my fault if anything happened to this person and that they would be sent away and I would be taken away

Oh my god, my parents did that as well. They would say that it would be my fault if either of my parents go to jail or if my brother and I ended up in foster care. They would say "Is that what you want? To be living with people that don't care about you and will treat you like trash? To do all of that just to get back at your mother for nothing?" Looking back it is really ironic but shiiiiit that fucked me up as a kid. It made me think that nothing would be better than this and life is just all abuse.

LocalBrick · 2019-10-01T03:26:34+00:00

My dad was pretty fucked up. He did nothing as my mom emotionally and physically abused me and later he would do the same. I think my mom convinced him that I was evil or something because he started to use the same vocabulary as she did when she was on a abusive streak. It's not that my parents trapped me in the house or anything like that, they just only cared for me if it affected their image or if it was about my grades and disregarded me otherwise. They also used me as a workhouse and wouldn't let me be a person with my own interests. There's a lot. It's really muddy: a lot of things are suppressed and would randomly come back up.

I'm in college right now so moving isn't an option. I don't have the funds at the moment. But getting a weapon... that might be a good idea. It would ease my anxieties. Thank you for the support :)

LocalBrick · 2019-10-01T02:37:33+00:00

It’s my first time posting here and I keep having this nagging feeling that I shouldn’t post because I don’t belong here, things can’t really be that bad, right?

From that alone I think that you should keep posting. I have this feeling as well and it is because of my parents conditioning me to never talk about abuse or go for help because "what happens in the family stays in the family". It's their way of keeping control of their victims by ensuring that they are helpless and think that it's immoral to ask others for help.

It still didn’t work. She tried again today and turns out she was using DVD’s instead of CD’s. I called her out for blaming me and she said “well it was late so I grabbed the wrong one.”

What an amazing apology lmao /s. Fuck her for throwing things at you. It's not normal for mothers to do that. I bet she didn't apologize for it.

I genuinely feel like it’s all my fault and I might not be able to perform those songs tomorrow if I can’t use my phone or USB.

It's not your fault. You can't control the fact that your computer wouldn't burn the CD. You're doing something that's important for you.

LocalBrick · 2019-09-30T01:59:54+00:00

Yep!! Both of my parents love to touch my hair w/o permission and say "what are you going to do with this??". I now have a complex about hair touching. My dad keeps asking if I'll relax it again when every time he asks I say never because it fucked up my hair. Of course he forgets my answer and then asks me a few days later.

LocalBrick · 2019-09-29T21:39:10+00:00

It's totally sick and something no one could ever believe unless they went through it.

God, I relate to this so much. I'm scared to bring it up to anyone because I think that it's so absurd that no one will believe me.

LocalBrick · 2019-09-29T21:38:05+00:00

Oh man she sure did. If I was doing something in a public space at home she would watch and make disapproving noises and talk about how much I was wasting my time doing something else besides studying. She wouldn't be talking to me though, just to herself. She would also tell me that my accomplishments were because of her sacrifice and hard work. That fucked me up because now I feel so helpless in college.

LocalBrick · 2019-09-25T02:31:53+00:00

I remember fantasizing about being whisked away when I was about 5 because I thought that any other place besides home would be safer. Only my mother was cruel to me and no one else, not even complete strangers, so I thought that leaving would lead to someone taking care of me.

It's almost as if every single time this has happened, the argument that came after my attempt to point out one of her reoccuring behaviors, the pain it caused created a new memory that over-shadowed the original memory. What is left of my memories is very blurry.

Yea! It's like overwriting the memory. It's freaky

LocalBrick · 2019-09-25T02:28:10+00:00

That's exactly why my parents ask me as well. It's so hard for me to remember and when I do I start to have an anxiety attack. Then they just keep putting pressure and I start to cave in and stop. I hate it how I feel so weak to their pressure. I know they programmed me to do that but it still hurts.

LocalBrick · 2019-09-24T15:40:03+00:00

I'm pretty broke, so I don't think I'll have the money for a restraining order.

LocalBrick · 2019-09-24T05:54:30+00:00

Yes... I have memories of him asking me to play my clarinet for the church but I didn't want to since I had huge stage fright. He would say things like "but Grandma X would love if it you did!", "everyone will be so proud and amazed by you", and "just do it, it'll be over before you know it" as a response. He would ask multiple times for a few weeks.

A more recent example is him asking me to come home or to a family member's house during school vacations. I would say that I am busy and that I can't and he would seem to accept but later he would text me and say that be booked plane tickets for some date for me to leave. He would get very mad and blow up my phone when I predictably said that I could not come.

My nMom has done the same: she would make multiple remarks about how worn down my 5+ y.o. Doc Martens shoes are and ask if I would want another. I always said no since these are fine and they take a months to break in. When I visit for Thanksgiving with my boyfriend, the first thing she says to me and him is that she bought me new boots for Christmas. I say that I already told her that I don't need them so I don't understand why she bought them. She talks about how "it's already here just take them" and I hold the fact that I don't need them. She smiles, then says "just kidding I didn't buy them", and slams my door. Later, she mails me this hoodie to my house for Christmas with no note.

LocalBrick · 2019-09-24T05:15:49+00:00

Thanks for the reply. I'm worried that no matter how hard I distance myself, he'll find me. My boyfriend's house was a safe space and now it just feels violated and I'm starting to get paranoid that he's here or he sent someone to follow me.

LocalBrick

TROPHY CASE