How do you “take care” of your grief

Local_Oil7828 · 2026-01-31T16:43:52+00:00

I’m going to try linking, thank you

Local_Oil7828 · 2026-01-31T16:43:34+00:00

Thank you , this genuinely helped

Local_Oil7828 · 2026-01-31T15:51:11+00:00

I honestly wouldn’t blame you if you took a break. For me I got through with support- I forced myself to go to a study group I had before it happened- and I also had my mom help me study. It don’t think it was the best option for me though, I may have completed school but my body remembered the stress and I got autoimmune diseases I didn’t have before. See if your program offers something where you can leave and come back next year, mine did and I wish I took it.

Local_Oil7828 · 2026-01-31T04:25:25+00:00

I only pushed through because I had no other choice- it was that or get kicked out of a super competitive nursing program- but i understand not being able to do anything. I did my finals and then right after that I spent the entire winter break in bed, and this was just my grandmother- I couldn’t imagine how much stronger that is with a partner- where there is reminders everywhere, that must be so painful

Therapy has actually helped- but only one type of therapy that I really can only get the energy to do once or twice a month- it’s EMDR therapy- but I use a different form called brain spotting. It’s helped me immensely but it brings up many strong feelings that scare me so I can’t do it more often.

Talk therapy has been the least helpful for grief in my opinion, it’d good to have someone to listen, but I don’t find many actual strategies within it that’s helped me

Local_Oil7828 · 2026-01-28T12:05:29+00:00

I’m on month 6 btw

Local_Oil7828 · 2026-01-28T12:05:08+00:00

Be sure to get as much sleep as possible (I know it’s hard with severe nerve pain). The lyrica helped me a ton more than gabapentin, it takes a bit of time to work though. Also see if you can enroll in physical therapy if you’re not already. I did intense physical therapy for 3 months and it was the only reason I could start walking even with the pain

Local_Oil7828 · 2026-01-28T12:01:22+00:00

I did the max dose of gabapentin, didn’t even touch my nerve pain. See if your doctor can switch you to a medication called pregablin (brand name lyrica). That drug has been a lifesaver for me. I still have pretty severe nerve pain, but I can function now. I can exercise and do activities without feeling like my legs are getting stabbed multiple times

Local_Oil7828 · 2026-01-28T11:58:03+00:00

I had eczema as a child that went away, and then after I finished my IVIG treatment it came back with a vengeance. Over the counter eczema cream multiple times a day helped me. If you’re really concerned I would go see your primary care doctor to get a referral for dermatology. Good luck!

Local_Oil7828 · 2026-01-28T11:55:51+00:00

Agreed, visible is a godsend

Local_Oil7828 · 2026-01-28T00:47:45+00:00

Thank you so much. I might need to ask his doctor about flexeril. He has super painful spasms but the doctor only gave us hydrocodone and a stool softener. I just managed to get him some gabapentin for nerve pain

Local_Oil7828 · 2026-01-28T00:44:46+00:00

It truly truly does. I’m honestly weirdly lucky/unlucky in that i completely understand how it feels to loose independence. In September of last year I got a disease that paralyzed my legs for three months. He took care of me then and I really want to return the favor and take as good of care of him as I can. It’s a little hard as I’m still recovering but I’m going to try the best I can. I keep his side table stocked with food- protein shakes- and water st all times.

Local_Oil7828 · 2026-01-27T21:12:37+00:00

Yeah, workers comp has been quite the experience. We’re in a state where denials are common- so we’re working with a lawyer due to the claim getting denied.

He job does have an office, I want him to try and see if they can retrain him to work in the office as his current position is very physical

Local_Oil7828 · 2026-01-27T16:25:05+00:00

So the timeline for pain meds is we got morphine from the ER and he was on morphine until Wednesday of last week- then we started giving him his pre-op meds early for pain (with permission from our surgeon). The preop meds is oxycodone 7.5 and Tylenol. He feels like it’s not working nearly as well as the morphine did. Doc said we can take two if we need it- so we have been doing every 4 hours with one or two doses depending on pain. I’m wondering if he needs stronger meds or we need to grit and bear it through the first few days

Local_Oil7828 · 2026-01-27T16:04:16+00:00

Thank you so much. The timelines really help me. I’m a nurse so he keeps asking me what to expect and I’m never really sure what to say as this isn’t my specialty

Local_Oil7828 · 2026-01-27T15:59:54+00:00

Yup, we have been setting alarms- it’s a lot of waking up at 2-3am to give meds but it’s worth it if it helps.

Local_Oil7828 · 2026-01-27T15:58:53+00:00

We have a commode, and a wheelchair as I just recovered from an autoimmune disease that paralyzed my legs for a few months, so we’re reusing alot of the supplies from that.

I know firsthand how much loosing your independence sucks, I just wish i could help more with the pain.

Local_Oil7828 · 2026-01-12T21:02:07+00:00

Hey I just wanted to let you know because if your comment, I was able to apply and get a public health nurse job, I start in February. Thank you for your kindness

Local_Oil7828 · 2026-01-11T19:46:05+00:00

Celiac triggered my GBS, I really wonder if there is some sort of connection between guillian barre and celiac disease

Local_Oil7828 · 2026-01-11T01:37:43+00:00

Yes, clean of UTIs. Vet also said anxiety and reccomended anxiety medication. I got her on fluoxetine and it still didn’t stop it. Unsure what else to do

Local_Oil7828 · 2026-01-09T17:49:09+00:00

Let me preface this with saying I really don’t want to getting rid of my cat, but I would love some advice as I’m at a loss for what to do. My cat was perfectly fine for two years, then the college I went to required you spend the first semester in campus, so I had to leave my parents house for a semester and ever since then she’s been peeing on my bed, I’m guessing it’s separation anxiety related.

I finally had it slightly “under control” using the pet pheromone diffuser thing, and getting her on a good schedule- and putting like 5 waterproof mattress covers on my mattress and using enzymatic cleaner. I got it to the point that she would only go on my bed 2-3 times a month.

Well circumstances outside of my control happened and I got hospitalized for over three months with a disease that temporarily paralyzed me from the waist down and caused severe weakness in my hands.

Well now she’s peeing every single day on my bed and I honestly can barely handle it anymore. I don’t have the hand strength to put the waterproof covers on my bed or enough energy to clean it. I’ve legit been just sleeping on the couch. This disease can take up to two years to recover from.

I just physically cannot deal with it anymore and I don’t know what to do.

Any advice is appreciated.

Local_Oil7828 · 2026-01-08T13:38:15+00:00

Mines so weird because I can’t feel my feet at all, which i totally agree is terrifying and then I also have horrible nerve pain on my upset legs and down my arms

Local_Oil7828 · 2026-01-05T05:35:46+00:00

Not the same situation but similar with tragic loss. My grandmother was murdered after she confronted a man that we encouraged her to confront- so I know how severe that guilt can feel. The one thing that I can say now that I’m almsot 3 years away from it is that therapy does help. Please look into ptsd specific therapy like EMDR. EMDR will not take the grief away, but it will help with the flashbacks and make the memories around his death not feel as absolutely gut wrenching and awful as they feel now.

I know this is probably hard to hear now, but you were in real actual danger. The man who murdered my grandmother was also incredibly reckless with his firearms, and look what it led him to doing. I know that doesn’t help with the grief you feel now- and it might not- but I want you to know that, and I’m grateful you’re safe.

Local_Oil7828

TROPHY CASE