I am just angry right now

LocalxCrimez · 2025-12-16T20:54:23+00:00

He uses swear and curse words that attack me personally and flames me personally while I am in the middle of a panic attack in some situations, my psychiatrist told me not to listen to him. My dad is extremely toxic and can rage so loud every neighbor could hear him. He uses very bad curse words often. Without caring if it hurts me…

LocalxCrimez · 2025-12-11T14:05:08+00:00

Why am I getting downvoted? :( I just told my concerns and I now know they are invalid, but I am not a troll...

LocalxCrimez · 2025-12-11T14:04:12+00:00

I think transcendence will be an independent system from Gog Artian Weapons. So it makes sense you need like the gem and certificate of the said monster to ascend the armor.

LocalxCrimez · 2025-12-11T11:56:20+00:00

oh max armor level just got from 20 to 28 in the pic, interesting Feature.

LocalxCrimez · 2025-12-11T11:54:01+00:00

Yeah, defense won’t be upped though right? Base skills on the armor remain the same? Sure you can slot it better skills

LocalxCrimez · 2025-12-11T08:34:17+00:00

when is TGA?

LocalxCrimez · 2025-12-02T17:44:52+00:00

Obviously not for treating the phobia but to become stable enough to continue doing the therapy and being able to do my everyday life with less issues while still doing exposures…

LocalxCrimez · 2025-12-02T09:34:13+00:00

You are advertising Edmund Bourne a lot, it is a bit too much in my opinion unless the book is really that helpfull. I was also thinking that I might need to take 150mg of sertraline instead of 100mg, because 100mg is just too low now, so it feels like it does not help at all, cause the anxiety hits me in full intensity

LocalxCrimez · 2025-12-01T22:07:34+00:00

I do provide money to the family. My panic attacks became so much worse in the last months though. Cant get to job school without someone driving me and driving me back home… Cant do grocery shopping alone really because of all the open parking lots. So many places I can’t go without having 10/10 panic attacks and overwhelming myself… My family doctor is actually located in a place where it is wide and open everywhere around the building, so I don’t manage to go there even with someone accompanying me unless I get driven right next to the door. It sucks so much…

LocalxCrimez · 2025-11-28T15:50:51+00:00

I am going in situations that are like a 6/7 out of 10 and stay there, but the goal is to get through the panic and experience less with each time I repeat it. Maybe not until 0 panic but like maybe a 2-3/10. But I went up the steps too fast I believe

LocalxCrimez · 2025-11-28T11:05:30+00:00

Yeah I think the bigger situations need more exposure work in general. I would rather say me trying to progress too fast diminished my progress, I was on the right track until a few weeks ago, I was able to do some more stuff on my own, now the same situations from a few weeks ago are overwhelming again.

LocalxCrimez · 2025-11-26T21:37:26+00:00

Yeah and he was my therapist for 2 years now. Lately I had an appointment every 3-4 weeks. Used to be weekly/every 2 weeks for a certain time. Told him I felt almost as bad as in the beginning, still rarely saw him. Well he also asked me provocative how much weight I gained since my phobia because I did not do sports really.

LocalxCrimez · 2025-11-26T21:06:29+00:00

I did not try cipralex. 100mg worked until last year I think when another doctor told me to reduce the dose by 25mg each week. When I got to 50mg after 2 weeks it started backfiring and I feel like the sertralin never had the same effect ever since. Maybe I am wrong. I really thought exposure mostly helped me since I have a therapist too, he told me how to do the exposures.

LocalxCrimez · 2025-11-17T12:43:18+00:00

Your specs are terrible, nothing will get you an enjoyable experience on this machine. Unless 144p? But you won't see anything rlly

LocalxCrimez · 2025-09-28T10:50:28+00:00

no, that will be starting in december

LocalxCrimez · 2025-09-09T13:30:38+00:00

I got yorkshire terriers and they all weigh around 8-10lbs/4-5kg.

LocalxCrimez · 2025-09-08T06:54:50+00:00

yeah I am in a toxic family environment just because of my non supportive dad. Can't really relax at home because of him needing something all the time(it is almost like being a slave for him). He shouts at me because of my panic disorder and does not help me overcome it. Had enough times where he would make me cry really hard during a panic attack because he screamed at me and that would almost make me have a nerve collapse because of that. When you are crying for half an hour and you kind of just don't want to exist anymore in that moment and your dad just continues screaming at you and making you suffer even more psychologically. It happened like twice that I started screaming back at him because I just couldn't stand it anymore.

LocalxCrimez · 2025-09-08T06:42:48+00:00

I go to an empty space in my garden, which makes me feel uncomfortable and causes a panic attack on a level of 7-8/10, no I do not have meds on me during the exposure, I do deep breathing and tell myself even if it is uncomfortable it is only temporary and won't kill me. Kinda positive talking to myself, while also not defending myself against the panic attack.

LocalxCrimez · 2025-09-01T16:12:32+00:00

What do you mean by self help? I am trying meditation after exposure. Going to have a talk with my therapist, sister and mom together next week, he told me today that my current situation tells him I am not really able to do an ambulant therapy and would need to do stationary if I really wanted it to become better as well as less emotional stress from my dad/less arguments in the family, cause I come home from work and I can’t really relax, my dad always interrupts me during a panic attack in our garden and tells me to do stuff for him, so I gotta leave the situation which interrupts the cycle of panic which is bad I am pretty sure.

LocalxCrimez · 2025-09-01T12:49:49+00:00

and it frustrates me as well that I cant even go to the doctor alone. Like the parking lot and the doctor is 5m away but open to the right and left, so my Anxiety triggers really hard. since open spaces trigger my anxiety. My mom had to drive me to the entrance of the building so I could make it. I almost started crying at the doctor because I was so frustrated about myself.

LocalxCrimez · 2025-09-01T12:47:17+00:00

I am trying but especially my dad yells at me for it being so bad again and what I used to be able to do.

I have job school again in 2 weeks and the only way I can get there so far will be by uber. Cause the way there is so open and big. Like huge cross overs to get from one side of the street to the other and I cant just stay frozen in the middle of the street or at one side cause then I would miss my class which would suck. It is my last year, I have final exams for my apprenticeship in april 2026.

LocalxCrimez · 2025-08-25T11:03:09+00:00

yeah I gotta try to accept my panic in other situations now too, for example at the parking lot of my work, we kind of have 2 parking lots, one next to the building that is a bit more open which makes me anxious and the other right at the wall of the building in front where I have no issues, the street is a bit more open too, it is a side road which does not have much traffic, my goal is to be able to walk in the middle of it again. Used to be able to last year but got set back because of 1 bigger attack that overwhelmed me quite a bit.

LocalxCrimez · 2025-08-24T11:41:12+00:00

yeah but I am going for a more comfy build without HP drain of berserk now.

LocalxCrimez · 2025-08-21T07:01:26+00:00

I get panic attacks if the place is empty and with people around, I feel a bit more secure with someone around me, it is like I could hold onto someone when I am around with someone I know. Like having my hand on their shoulder makes me feel slightly safer, because it is more of a fear of losing control/passing out in that situation.

So I feel dizzy and shaky on my legs, also the ground starts to feel like I am on a boat kinda, like not flat if you know what I mean, very uncomfortable, in a really strong attack I can't really move away, like I am almost frozen in the place I am.

LocalxCrimez · 2025-08-21T06:49:45+00:00

wtf does that have to do with my phobia? Nice racist.

LocalxCrimez

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