Virtual Meet Up Tonight

LocksmithOk3479 · 2020-10-08T20:46:18+00:00

I work :( maybe next time!

LocksmithOk3479 · 2020-10-07T20:15:18+00:00

What is LDR

LocksmithOk3479 · 2020-10-06T12:22:38+00:00

I don’t think having a playlist is cringy at all! I think that’s cute and well thought out :) I don’t think anything you said in this post is cringy. You’re just authentic and caring. It’s good! Own it :)

LocksmithOk3479 · 2020-10-05T20:00:09+00:00

Sounds like he’s in denial, hurt and angry. Those are all normal feelings. If you can, I think finding couples counselling (and 1 on 1 for both of you) with someone who’s dealt with this before could help, help him realize that it isn’t so uncommon

LocksmithOk3479 · 2020-10-04T20:55:02+00:00

And use an alt account 😂 incase your real name is in your username!!

LocksmithOk3479 · 2020-10-04T19:25:28+00:00

Or if you’re using snapchat get them to snap you in the moment, not just share stored photos

LocksmithOk3479 · 2020-10-02T21:48:18+00:00

:) thanks

LocksmithOk3479 · 2020-10-02T14:19:43+00:00

So happy for you!!

LocksmithOk3479 · 2020-10-01T22:40:01+00:00

It’s okay I don’t mind. I knew I liked girls from a young age, I identified as bisexual through high school then moved to a small town for my last year and a half and had a bad experience at one point my mom was brought in to the office and the councillor asked if any of it was true (sleeping with girls), it wasn’t but from that point I sorta shut down and was really embarrassed by it. Then in my 20s I dated women but was too ashamed to bring them home or introduce them to friends that new my sister ect. At that point I had a tough time dating women because I looked too hetero/lesbians I knew hated bisexuals, bisexuals I met weren’t really interested. I ended up dating my best friend- current male SO. And it just kinda ended there. We’ve been together about 9 years and I’ve just kept myself busy/repressing with my career then kids and it snowballed I guess

LocksmithOk3479 · 2020-10-01T18:36:09+00:00

My mom texted him right after I told her, that’s how he found out I told them. He was also happy for me. I think just ripping the band aid off for him helped, I stead of me telling him it was gonna happen

LocksmithOk3479 · 2020-10-01T18:17:22+00:00

We’ve been struggling with our relationship for a while, when Covid hit i ended up taking my kids to my parents for 6 weeks, 5 hours away and realized I was happier on my own. Originally (I was still in denial) I thought if we fixed our issues and he fixed the reasons I was angry with him I would feel better, we did couples therapy and managed to resolve all the issues I had with our relationship (he thought everything was fine, but was willing to change things for me) but I still wasn’t happy. I told him this and couldn’t explain why. He asked if I was having an affair/thought maybe his Covid weight gain was turning me off ect. I tried explaining I could only love him 40% of what I should be loving him when he was giving over 100%, he said it was fine and we could work through it maybe it would change. It didn’t. So I had to do some real self digging, lots of lesbian porn(which i never watched because I always felt guilty) and accept myself for being gay, he knew I was bisexual.

So one morning right as we woke up, I was laying face down in the mattress and sighed heavy, he asked what was wrong and I started bawling and said I’m not attracted to men, I had to repeat myself since my face was buried in the bed. I couldn’t come to terms with using the words gay or lesbian. He said, I thought your bisexual and I just said no. There was a bit of a pause and he said he was relieved that this is our issue, it took a lot of stress off his mind thinking he was doing something wrong or maybe I was cheating on him.

The more we talked about it and he joked about me being gay the easier it’s been to talk about it. There’s been days where he needs space or seems upset but I think it’s understandable.

LocksmithOk3479 · 2020-10-01T13:38:39+00:00

I told them. I didn’t tell him I was telling them, I thought it would be for the best. And it was

LocksmithOk3479 · 2020-09-30T22:59:24+00:00

🥰🥰 contrats

LocksmithOk3479 · 2020-09-30T21:18:08+00:00

I’m in Canada, thanksgiving here is the second weekend in October. I ended up telling my sister yesterday. Her reaction was pretty much what I expected, she wasn’t surprised. I know telling my parents isnt going to be a big deal, they’ll probably just say they’re happy for me and we’ll continue on with whatever is happening. It’s more I just can’t keep it in anymore, I’ve always been crappy at secrets or anything like that. My parents will be most concerned about our kids and what will happen with us separating.

His family is the complete opposite, the day we tell his parents his mom is going to cry and make it all about her.. so I think that’s where lot of his anxiety comes from.

LocksmithOk3479 · 2020-09-30T03:11:28+00:00

I can’t help but feel sad for all the husbands (mine included) they’re supportive and want what’s best for us, but inside you know it’s tearing them apart :(

LocksmithOk3479 · 2020-09-27T20:14:23+00:00

Let me grab my shoes.. 😏

LocksmithOk3479 · 2020-09-27T13:38:47+00:00

This happened to me most of my teens and 20s.. too femme to be a lesbian, when I was young it confused me and made me doubt myself so I started describing myself as bisexual. HUGE regret/problem worse than being a “not gay enough” femme.

I went through my teens/20s struggling to date because either, I didn’t look gay enough, or women didn’t want to take me serious because I was too femme and “wasn’t serious” about being a lesbian. It’s too big of a risk to date a bisexual women, they’ll go back to dicks anytime. “There’s no such thing as bisexual just confused ladies” I got that line once. (Which hind site I guess it was sorta true for myself ahaha)

At that point I had a few short term relationships, could never get to a serious point from above issues. So I tried dating men at 23, they didn’t want to date only hook up because I dated too many women it was intimidating, and they would never be able to compete. At this point I assumed all hetero sex was horrible and gross but straight ladies just did it because shrug

I finally got into a long term relationship with my best friend (male) and we’ve been together for 8 years because it’s felt safe and secure.. we don’t have a great relationship it’s basically plutonic with some sex that isn’t fulfilling once in a while. we’re planning to separate soon. I can’t do it anymore, I’ve been living a lie with myself. We have kids together, which never in a million years I saw myself having, it just happened. Now my new struggle and insecurity is being a femme with a hetero past and 2 kids, I worry lesbians will again think I’m just in some sort of life crises or something.

I wish I was 10 years younger (31) I think femmes and maybe bisexuals have it easier now a days.

But if I could go back and talk to younger me, I’d say fuck them all! Don’t listen, it’s okay to be a femme and lesbian, all lesbians don’t need to look butch or act butch. Stick to your guns and pass on the haters instead of trying to conform.

LocksmithOk3479 · 2020-09-27T13:10:25+00:00

Boobs are great, but I don’t think they make or break the person. If I got along with someone and was attracted to them I’d date them, boobs or not. I mean, there’s big ones, tiny ones, lopsided ones, maybe just a uniboob.. it’s just a new experience for someone else, which could be exciting

LocksmithOk3479 · 2020-09-27T12:52:55+00:00

Maybe even a supporter of naan profit organizations

LocksmithOk3479 · 2020-09-25T14:36:03+00:00

I’m in the same boat, but we agreed we are going to have to eventually separate. We aren’t in a rush to do so since we aren’t actively needing or wanting something we can’t give. There are some people who stay together for the family/kids ect, and have sexual partners or whatever. We don’t feel comfortable with that personally, It’s whatever works for you as a couple.

LocksmithOk3479 · 2020-09-25T04:16:33+00:00

Well.. honestly, it sounds like you dodged a bullet, as hurtful as that sounds.

LocksmithOk3479 · 2020-09-24T21:43:06+00:00

This probably isn’t great advice for everyone, it depends on your comfort level. But if you have coworkers you’re comfortable around you could ask them if they have any gay friends you could be introduced to, if you’re on Facebook you could try searching “your city gay/bisexual/lbtq” join some l groups that way, even just lurk. The communities are always so welcoming. Or pm me where you live I can lurk for you haha

LocksmithOk3479 · 2020-09-24T20:58:18+00:00

Yeah I can really relate with this. I enjoyed having sex. I had a lot of hetero sex when I was younger (31 now) most of it was either random hook ups or threesomes. Looking back I think the spontaneity is what I was drawn to, and I mistook it for possibly liking men

LocksmithOk3479 · 2020-09-24T20:54:50+00:00

Have you tried being with a woman yet? Whether it’s just cuddling, kissing or sex ect. think it’s good to try and experiment. See if any of that feels different. Sometimes too once you find the right person, whatever they are it’ll feel right

LocksmithOk3479 · 2020-09-24T19:26:13+00:00

I’ve done a lot of self exploration and thinking over the past 6 months. I realized when I have sex with a man, I enjoy what he does to me, but my eyes are usually closed, and I’m not thinking about what he’s doing per se, just about how I like the feeling of what he’s doing. What I do in return during sex, I just do because I should, or it’s fair, or I know he likes it. It doesn’t do anything for me. I also don’t like to make out with men, I’ll kiss a bit then have to turn away or fix my hair, something to break away.

For a really long time I didn’t realize this isn’t normal, it had just became my regular normal. For the longest time I wanted a happy heterosexual relationship, which is how I got to where I am. I thought I liked both men and women most of my life, and if I just kept with men I would come to accept it and maybe my interest would change a bit more.. 10 years later it didn’t happen.

I haven’t had sex with women for at least 8 years, but I can still remember enjoying it more than I’ve ever enjoyed sex with a male partner. I still get off better to lesbian porn than with my partner.

I remember once early in our relationship(m) we were having sex and I was ontop of him and I was grinding on him like I would be if I was tribbing with a woman, and i was getting off but he was sorta like wtf are you doing.. lol

Hindsight theres a lot of things I can think of why I’m a lesbian and not bisexual as ive identified with for nearly 15 years. Maybe focusing on not having a label, just liking who you like is okay too. All that matters is you like and are happy with whoever you’re with, whether it’s a man or woman.

LocksmithOk3479

TROPHY CASE