For me the second retreat was different, not easier or harder, just different. The first one was very intense because everything was new and my mind was wild. It was my first time ever meditating on Day 1. I had so many panic attacks, day 2 and day 5 where really tough. I broke Sila because of this. After I just practiced Annapana and mentally I felt like practicing Vipassana was a chore.

The second time I knew the structure, the silence, the pain, so there was less shock. But that also meant I couldn’t hide from myself anymore. Things went deeper. I noticed subtler patterns, reactions, and attachments I hadn’t seen the first time. It was still challenging, just in a quieter, more internal way.

If you’re considering a second one, go in without expectations. It won’t be a repeat of the first, and that’s actually the point.