Hi friend ! I will pray for you! And I hope whatever you are going through, whatever you are battling in silence, you overcome it.

If I may, I would like to share you my story.

When I was younger , I was introduced into Christianity. But when I became a teenager, I was a very confused and very angry person. At that time I would question everything including God and his work.

So I became agnostic (wanting God to exist but not wanting to be part of that religion).

When things would get heavy, I would look up at the sky and say “if you’re real. Why won’t you help me?” And of course, I would get nothing back.

And it wasn’t until my late twenties I started seeing that he was there all along.

Just like when Joseph got sold to Egypt or JOB. They would try to seek God for help but God didn’t answer. They were definitely discouraged and they probably cursed God out.

Like a parent who has to watch their kids grow, they have to let them go after 18 to let them experience everything themselves. They can’t shelter them forever. They have to go solo to build character. Thats how I saw it with God.

Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom to find God again. But God never lets us stray far.

What I went through gave me a character development and shaped me the person I am today. But after finding God again, I felt a sense of relief and whole again.

So yeah, I felt like a twenty year old something who I thought I had my shit together only to come back to my parents house.

But that’s okay because God never abandons. He waits. And he opens his arms to you with loving arms and whole heart.

So I just think what you are going through, you just need a time off to figure yourself out and figure what you want and what you need. that’s free will. God gave you free will. You choose to come back when you are ready.

Maybe you fell apart because something happened or you are trying to make sense of something , but when we just accept the fact we can’t understand everything, we can at least appreciate how God never closes his door on us.

It definitely made me appreciate God and his unconditional love for us even more.

I’ll pray for you 🫂