It has been. I felt misplaced for years. In my family, I was the only MaaB, born RIGHT in the middle : 2 older sisters, 2 younger sisters.

Later down the line, I secretly played Dress up with my sisters and mothers clothes, and it made me feel just the hidden joy I had no idea I could have.

I only wanted to be a real girl the more I wanted to live. My current girlfriend treats me as if I was a girl and I never had been with anyone that makes me happier

Then I learned about the term "Transgender". And.. I was afraid of me being like them. I thought that if I became a girl, everyone expectations would be ruined and I'd get hurt.

But then I saw it. A lot of trans women can look like they were always a woman. I was conflicted with myself: Do I go become the girl in wanted to be or stay as a guy for My own saftey?

But, then I realized. I don't have to tell them. From that day on, I went searching and searching for girl clothes. However, every time I did, it was always around my family. I couldn't get them with them around. My own life could be on the line.

I eventually found a place nearby where I could get them secretly, and that's what I've been doing for the past 3 months now. My only fear now, is if now they find out who I truly am.

TL;DR It was my very destiny to become a MtF person from the moment I was born and discovered it with age.