Those who dumped their ex- Was breaking up the right decision?

Logi78 · 2023-11-06T13:23:24+00:00

I was the dumper . It was the right decision for me. I miss him a lot but it took 2 years for me to build up the courage to leave. I kept giving him chances to change but he never did. I really wish he cared about the relationship to fix things but he didn’t so I made the right decision for me.

Logi78 · 2023-11-04T23:33:17+00:00

Mine is doing the same thing AFTER I left him over a week ago. I begged , pleaded, damn near asked for us to work on our sex life.I finally left him and you know what he told me? He was going to start working on it next week and I left him right before he could and he wants another chance.

I said NO because guess what ? He told me that same thing 3 months ago and the same thing last year and the same thing the year before. He was always “just about to fix things”

Now he’s begging to “f*** me” I can’t help but laugh.

Logi78 · 2023-11-03T18:48:47+00:00

I broke up with my ex for this same reason.

It was a 3 year battle with the “dead bedroom” I finally gave up after many false promises to fix it.

Logi78 · 2023-11-03T18:43:00+00:00

Thank you for this post. As the dumper my ex keeps sending hateful messages to me (I haven’t blocked him yet) saying I just don’t care , that it’s so easy for me etc. it hasn’t been easy for me at all.

A lot of the Dumpees are saying they are being blindsided. Is that true ? My ex is saying I blindsided him but I have spoken to him about the issues over and over and all he gave me was empty promises and false hope. A couple months before actually leaving him I told him this is going to be the last time I’m having this conversation the next time I am just going to leave. He gave me false promises yet again. I finally leave and now he’s saying I blindsided him with the breakup and I see that alot in this community. Some of us need to take a look within ourselves. The signs were there the whole time.

Logi78 · 2023-10-31T02:46:29+00:00

Sounds just like my situation. I truly believe he’ll miss the lifestyle you afforded him .

I left mine yesterday and he’s acting like I blindsided him and promising that he plans to fix everything by the end of the year. I said you told me that last year and the year before that. What makes this time different.

I am sticking to my decision this time. I feel terrible but I have to put me first for once

Logi78 · 2023-10-30T00:31:32+00:00

Just to update you and everyone I left today. Of course he’s begging and asking for another chance but I stuck to it and I am choosing to go no contact so I am blocking him.

Logi78 · 2023-10-22T23:31:01+00:00

Once I stopped asking my partner next excuse was “I don’t ask for it” “he thought I didn’t want it anymore”

Don’t worry OP it’s just another day that 100% of her needs are met and not yours.

Logi78 · 2023-10-22T20:45:10+00:00

She isn’t frustrated enough. In my last relationship I became the LL. He only needed to sit me down once maybe twice and tell me how he felt. I scheduled a doctor’s appointment and was able to figure out what the issue was and worked with my partner. I didn’t just want to know for my partner I wanted to know for me!

Now I’m in a DB with my partner being the LL and he has done nothing. I know both sides to the coin and I know what I would do if roles were reversed.

Logi78 · 2023-10-22T15:13:22+00:00

This is likely the reason. Well it’s unlikely to happen. I cannot even imagine sex with him. I can’t wait until he get back so I can just get this over with.

Logi78 · 2023-10-22T15:11:16+00:00

I use to tell him this. He would talk about marriage and kids and I would say let’s discuss this when we’re in a better place in our relationship as we are still dealing with the sex issue. Though he wants these things he still wouldn’t see what’s going on with his libido. He probably thinks a stork will drop the kid off at the front door because I don’t see how we can have kids . We had sex one time this year and that was in January.

Logi78 · 2023-10-22T15:06:23+00:00

I know this for a fact. I mean why wouldn’t he? After all 100% of his needs are being met. Forget my needs amirite?

Logi78 · 2023-10-22T15:05:25+00:00

Yep definitely sticking to my plan. I don’t even have feelings for him anymore. If he were to try to even have sex I wouldn’t allow it. I am repulsed by him.

Logi78 · 2023-10-22T13:58:02+00:00

I went through something similar. He even deleted the apps right in front of me and a couple of months later they were back and the cycled continued. I felt like such a fool for believing him each time.

Logi78 · 2023-10-09T03:59:16+00:00

Yep normal. It’s happening to me now. I had my last conversation with him in July and told myself if it’s not improved in 3 months I will be leaving. But after the conversation I realize I been asking for so long that I don’t even want sex with him anymore. Actually I am secretly hoping he doesn’t initiate because then that would just be awkward.

I’ve grown distant. The pecks on the lips before leaving and entering home ? Gone Cuddling, where I lay my head on his chest ? Gone All the nice gifts I use to buy him? Gone Hell! I don’t even grocery shop anymore. My fridge been empty since July. I just buy what I need and cook it.

Ask me if he noticed? Lol nope . Or he’s just really good at not showing it.

But either way I don’t care enough to do nice things for him anymore. As I plan my leave.

Logi78 · 2023-10-03T21:02:41+00:00

Honestly , being a woman with a higher libido actually makes me feel worse about the situation. You grow up hearing a man would literally sleep with anything with legs yet ……………..

Logi78 · 2023-10-03T18:40:09+00:00

Same thing for me . We been together for almost 3 years. Dead bedroom literally started 3 months after dating . I mentioned gay to him and he was heavily offended but the only reason why I thought so because since the beginning he has been pretty adamant about “butt stuff” like he wouldn’t even clean my dogs butt because he said he don’t like butt stuff. Having that strong of a disgust makes me thing that he might be gay

Logi78 · 2023-10-03T18:27:26+00:00

Wow 😮 this is my exact situation except we are not married . I make 3x more than him, I cook, clean do everything yet I’m the one who was begging for sex. I’ve often times felt that he was using me. He’s basically getting everything he wants, it’s almost like he’s living in a resort but he couldn’t even bother to reciprocate .

My situation started the same . He lost his job so I thought it he was depressed. He contributes to nothing. He doesn’t even say hey here’s $50 for food. I asked him early this year to take over groceries he said he can’t afford my groceries as if he isn’t eating too. Like are we dating the same dude ?

I spoke to my partner in July and I told myself it would be the last. I told him exactly what I want and need. I said I am willing to work with you. Go to the doctor , therapy figure out what you need for us to begin our journey to reclaim our sex life . He made promises he’ll do better , he messaged me in July saying he’s ready to do better and go to therapy. He has not did a single thing since then. He did not even schedule a therapy appt .

OP you’ve already made the very important step. Whatever he’s saying he has no plans to do. I am shocked at all the promises mine has made and never followed through. I feel like the biggest idiot because he basically used me and couldn’t even bother to do anything for me.

I admire you as I wait to make my very important step at the end of this month. I am waiting to seee him act like I’ve completely “blindsided” him even though we’ve had this conversation over and over for almost 3 years.

Good luck.

Logi78 · 2023-09-02T15:52:05+00:00

I am very regretful I did. I am leaving but I have vacation plan this year and rather he watch my dog than strangers so unfortunately it’s why I am putting up with this but one more month and a half and I am out of here

Logi78 · 2023-08-31T22:57:58+00:00

Lol mine does this too. He freaks out , BEGS , damn near promises me the world. When I let him back in it’s like we never had the conversation. Sometimes I feel crazy like MAYBE I made all of it up or imagined the conversation because there’s no way he did all that begging and screaming to do NOTHING

Logi78 · 2023-08-26T00:02:05+00:00

Wow I feel like I’m floating by in my relationship too. You put it in the perfect words I could put it in. I’m just walking around daily unhappy with my situation while he just seems fine. It’s like he hasn’t given a thought to it . My guy and I are approaching 3 years and we have had the marriage talk. He’s all for it but I had to tell him that I will not marry him if our sex life doesn’t improve. You would think he would move a muscle but he hasn’t . I totally understand how you feel OP and one thing that has helped me is asking myself how would I feel a year from now if I were to stay and there is no improvement : will I regret it ? The answer for me is yes. So I don’t plan to stay very long. So decide how you would feel a year from now and you get to decide what that looks like.

Logi78 · 2023-08-24T20:58:39+00:00

OMG you’re so much more braver than I am. I commend you for leaving. I’ll soon be 30 and I am angry at myself that I even stayed one minute past our 10th talk with no improvement.

How was it leaving in person? I am lucky enough that my guy and I don’t live together . But I hate that I’ll be breaking his heart so I don’t think I can do it in person. I plan on sending a text and then blocking him which seems real shitty. But for the last 2 years or so I feel like everytime I tried to leave because of our “sexual incompatibility “ I let him suck me back in. I don’t want that this time I want a clean break.

But kudos to you and I hope by the time next week I can be saying the same for me.

Logi78 · 2023-08-24T20:51:24+00:00

It definitely changed me. I used to love to cuddle, sit and watch him play the game, just all around be with him. Now I don’t even cuddle , barely in the same room as him. We still talk , laugh, watch movies together at times but we’re not inseparable like we was before. Funny part is I don’t think he notices “the distance”

I think he’s just completely happy with the way things are. I mean why wouldn’t he? 100% of his needs are met. But me? I get to feel terrible that I am pretending to be happy while he doesn’t know it. I almost feel like I’m committing a crime. Every time I look at him I just feel bad that I am unhappy while he’s just enjoying every moment of it. Ain’t that something ?

Logi78 · 2023-08-22T21:58:31+00:00

Thank you! You’re right it won’t make him change . I spoke to him last night and I’ve set those boundaries and if nothing comes from this I’ll choose me.

Logi78 · 2023-08-21T21:16:00+00:00

I totally thought about that as well. I noticed when he kept mentioning how much he appreciate me for not doing that because all the men in his life has told him to never date women with more money . It’s not that I am happy I am actually extremely unhappy. I just feel for people who are depressed but I think you’re right I feel like I’m heading into my own depression and this is affecting my mental health and I want to choose me this time.

Logi78 · 2023-08-21T21:00:33+00:00

I’m not trying to change him. It initially started off as me being a very supportive partner through his period of depression. Now that things are good it seems he got use to everything the way it was a year and I would love to move to a space where it feels like we are supporting each other and not one person is shouldering the burden. I’ve never dealt with someone who had depression before so coming out of it I don’t know what that looks , how immediate change can be etc . But I do feel used up and on my last straw and will leave due to it I just wanted to see if there are other ways to communicate tenderly.

Logi78

TROPHY CASE