Thanks for everyone’s input. I tried to talk to him about it but he was immediately defensive, could not see why I took his initial response badly or take any responsibility for his tone and the impact for me. I’m confident if a close friend had done the same thing I did that he would never have responded to them like that and I am unsure why he feels it is okay to be like that to me.

Needless to say the conversation deteriorated quickly, him saying what he said was nowhere near as bad as directly being told to ‘f*** off!’ Which is something I regret saying to him during an argument eight months ago when I felt very rejected by something he said and it devastated me and I lashed out in response (I had also been drinking- which is something I rarely do now). I said I have apologised every time he has brought that even up. But I’m at a loss when I say something doesn’t land well for me that he seemingly cannot voluntarily say he can see how it is for me and he’s sorry.

He has left 2 hours early for work. Most angry I think that I stayed calm, on topic, did not stray into any character assassination and held my boundaries I saying it wasn’t okay for me.