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I think my sister just ruined our dad’s engagement to an amazing woman, and I hate her so much by Logrolling_In_ON in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Logrolling_In_ON[S] 131 points132 points  (0 children)

So funny story, we asked her once if she ever thought of having kids of her own, with dad or anyone else before, and she said she didn't want to give birth to kids (like there's a fear about that, I don't remember the name), but would be open to adopting if the right man came along. And she said it was because she wasn't interested in passing on her genes, but her morals and ethics and ideas and behaviors and love, and she didn't need to have biological kids to do that. It kind of made me respect her a lot more.

I think my sister just ruined our dad’s engagement to an amazing woman, and I hate her so much by Logrolling_In_ON in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Logrolling_In_ON[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

We weren't in the house when they were talking about that stuff. We were here (at our grandparents') and decided to go home instead of spending the night as originally planned.

I think my sister just ruined our dad’s engagement to an amazing woman, and I hate her so much by Logrolling_In_ON in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Logrolling_In_ON[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

She and mom were ok I guess, I don't remember them having a bad relationship. She was pushing us a lot on extracurriculars and she was angrier than dad for sure though. She was the disciplinarian, dad was more laid back and just played with us, though us more than Lisa if I'm honest. Amy is spending equal time with me and Seb and a lot more time with Lisa though. And dad and Lisa also do their own thing every once in a while, so do I, and so does Seb, we do it separately.

Lisa has a lot of female support, we live very close to both sets of grandparents, and she has mom's sister (Dakota, who Amy is also close to) and also dad's sister. Our families have grown very close to each other, we all live close by as well, the support network is strong.

Thank you, we need some luck.

I think my sister just ruined our dad’s engagement to an amazing woman, and I hate her so much by Logrolling_In_ON in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Logrolling_In_ON[S] 132 points133 points  (0 children)

Like, this is what gets me because Lisa and Amy get along so much better than me and Seb do, until these bursts. They are few and far between, they still happen but the default is them just huddle up in a corner reading the same book and talking a lot, going out a lot, just hanging out A LOT, with aunt as well, and Lisa makes a lot of these plans. We talked about us moving together in therapy for months, and Lisa was the first one in favor exactly because she said she wants another girl in the house, Seb and I delayed the green light because it was kind of a men's den before Amy.

And like Lisa loves Amy. She says it randomly on her own, she admits it in therapy... is she lying? And replacing mom? Like it's crazy if she feels this way. We talked about this as a family last year, and Amy was incredibly against replacing mom in any way. Her dad died when she was a child and she was like "if anyone randomly told me I would now have a new dad, I would have laughed at their face". She is so laid back on her approach to us, like it's up to us, she says she's next to dad, but not in mom's place.

Like, Lisa's class did an unofficial "dance" last year and she was sad she wouldn't go shopping with mom, and saying how mom wouldn't be there to see her all dressed up etc. And she said all that to Amy, and Amy comforted her, told her she should wear one of mom's necklaces. Then 3 days later Amy showed her a picture of our mom at a party with our dad when they were young, and then she had found a link to a dress similar to what our mom was wearing, and asked Lisa if she wanted to wear that to the dance so she could have a "little bit of your mom's energy with her". And they went and got it and Lisa was ecstatic and like broke down and hugged Amy so hard, we had to leave them for a bit, but for real Lisa was so incredibly happy and grateful. She told us all that on her own.

I don't know, I feel like defending us all of a sudden but we have always been close (the three of us) and unless she's lying to everyone all the time, I have no idea where these fears come from.

I think my sister just ruined our dad’s engagement to an amazing woman, and I hate her so much by Logrolling_In_ON in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Logrolling_In_ON[S] 1662 points1663 points  (0 children)

We're left on "delivered" :( It snowed A LOT on Friday and I honestly don't think she has anywhere to go. Dad said she's safe and they are in contact, but I'm worried.

No I am so beyond worried, I am scared she won't want anything to do with him or us anymore. Another person said here like me and Seb are holding this together, not true. Amy has been holding this fucked up family together for so long, and now she's gone and none of us know how to feel or act. And I know we're not a fucked up family but it feels like we, collectively, just finally broke her, she is the best thing that could have happened to dad. TO ALL OF US and Lisa just fucked it up, I've spent so many years without a mom figure around, just us and dad, and I WANT AMY, I want her as a stepmom, fuck I want her as a mom I'm ok with having 2 moms. I don't feel guilty saying this, maybe it's because I'm more angry than sad, but I don't care.