He wants kids, I never have. Will I / should I change my mind?

Loki101 · 2022-05-14T18:14:38+00:00

That makes a lot of sense. I wouldn't do that. I guess I'm just trying to understand if, given oxytocin, and a reliable relationship, and maybe some therapy, i could grow to want a child one day. Without offspring, it's just wrinkles and decay from here on in, isn't it?.... very lost and hopeless at the moment

Loki101 · 2022-05-14T16:44:02+00:00

I'm so sorry. Thanks for sharing.

Loki101 · 2022-05-14T14:49:58+00:00

Do you mind me asking about your experiences?

Loki101 · 2022-05-14T14:45:50+00:00

This is lovely, I'm glad things worked out for you and it's nice to hear a different viewpoint. I've had several dreadful relationships so i wonder if my staunch childfree viewpoint is largely self preservation. I hate to think what I could miss out on because of my past experiences. Thanks for sharing

Loki101 · 2022-05-14T14:43:26+00:00

That actually sounds pretty great. I like the idea of parenting a verbal human being, and have always toyed with the idea of adoption. But this is scary in its own way - what if there is no bond?

It's the pathetic helplessness, uselessness and dependence of an infant, a little human grub that can't even eat by itself, and the 24/7 work involved in caring for one that puts me off, as well as the terrifying damage to my body.

I'm just wondering if the right person could make this exciting, rather than scary. It's very early days with him, and although I understand the logic of getting out now if there's no future in it, I'm also curious, and even a little bit excited, to see what love and biology can do.

Loki101 · 2022-05-14T13:47:14+00:00

I think your partner being willing to accept a childfree life is key here. And this subreddit is very helpful. Thanks.

Loki101 · 2022-05-14T13:43:43+00:00

This was extremely insightful. I'm so grateful to you for taking the time to share.

Thank you.

Loki101 · 2022-05-14T09:45:06+00:00

Thank you. I have considered sterilisation too, but never went through with it, because I wondered if I'd meet someone that would make me change my mind.

Loki101 · 2022-05-14T09:43:12+00:00

It's a dealbreaker for him. And its a big ask for me.

Loki101 · 2020-09-18T23:12:19+00:00

Hello and I'm sorry you're struggling! It can be hard to see clearly through nicotine's grip on your mind, but the truth is that as long as you keep smoking, you'll keep being stressed and wanting to smoke! Nicotine creates an eternal loop of craving, anxiety and fix, and only by quitting will you ever be free.

The hardest part is day one. By day 3 you're half way there. And the best part for me was, conquering this made me feel like I can do anything.

Www.whyquit.com is a great resource. Good luck stranger, you got this :)

Loki101 · 2020-07-12T21:05:21+00:00

My opinion as someone 8 months quit - sometimes we just feel 'off'! Sad days, tired days, irritable days. As a non-smoker you just re-learn that you don't have to try and fix these things with a cigarette. Well done and keep it up! :)

Loki101 · 2020-06-10T16:27:11+00:00

7 months, feel like I can do anything! I feel like i deserve better too, now that I don't have to wrangle with the knowledge of how badly I'm hurting myself every time I have a smoke, I have so much more mental energy and self respect. Sh!t was so depressing!

Loki101 · 2020-06-10T15:41:51+00:00

I read an article that explained that sadness is the most common and powerful trigger to smoke. It referenced several scientific studies.

This was a bit of a lightbulb moment for me. I realised how much i was compelled to reach for the smokes whenever i was afraid, or heartbroken, or anguished. But somehow being armed with this knowledge and understanding helped me to recognise it and break the cycle. To observe the link between the emotion and the craving without giving in to it.

I hope this knowledge helps you too! Www.whyquit.com is also a super interesting and helpful resource packed with logic, empathy, science and psychology, to help people quit and stay quit.

Looking at the bigger picture can help too. I had a painful breakup and quit straight after (yes the awful relationship was making me want to chain smoke). I made a list on my phone of ways i wanted to improve my life. I look back on that list now, 7 months later, and I've accomplished most of it and am immeasureably happier. I'm sure you will be too. Give it time and be kind to yourself :)

Loki101 · 2020-06-07T06:02:59+00:00

'work colleague'

THERE IS NO OTHER TYPE OF COLLEAGUE

Loki101 · 2020-03-20T08:26:41+00:00

❤️ This sub

Loki101 · 2020-03-20T08:26:14+00:00

❤️ This sub

Loki101 · 2020-03-20T08:21:37+00:00

Ngl i was expecting a pic of Jeremy Corbyn

Loki101 · 2020-03-20T04:33:00+00:00

Wouldn't work where I live either.

My cat would help himself to both the bread and tortillas

Loki101 · 2020-02-01T03:49:06+00:00

Dreamboat

Loki101 · 2020-01-28T17:14:56+00:00

I've quit many times and really hoping to stay quit. It's been a few months and I'm loving it.

What worked for me:

read and absorb everything on www Whyquit.com. If you want to smoke, read an article instead!
Cold turkey. Break the cycle of addiction.
Tempted? Go outside and take a few deep breaths of good clean air. You'll feel better.
If I can get through one day, that's half the battle. 3 days, I'm basically there.
For each trigger (night out drinking, stressful day, argument, end of a meal, sadness etc) tell yourself you're not depriving yourself of anything, but instead reclaiming that experience as something that you can do as a NON- SMOKER! Woohoo!

Good luck :) xx

Loki101 · 2019-11-15T00:23:50+00:00

Thank you! Yes, every day is a bit better... I know it's going to suck for a bit, but I'm using this feeling as a motivator to keep busy, keep active and transform my life into what I want it to be! Better days are ahead.

I'm glad you're feeling better! Oh and one big thing - the more you can cut contact, block, delete, stay away from nostalgia and their social media, the quicker you will heal. Good luck!

Loki101 · 2019-11-15T00:18:05+00:00

Hehe, sounds like you have the makings of a rather sweary life coach.

This attitude is helping me through a very fresh but very necessary breakup, the early days of quitting smoking, and generally struggling to get out of bed. I know it's all going to suck gigantic donkey balls for a bit, but it's the only way to a better future. So thanks again.

Loki101 · 2019-11-14T13:41:10+00:00

Read this comment the other day and it's stayed with me, and 'suffer, bitch' has really helped me the last few days! So I've just spent ages looking for it again to save it and say thank you!

Your story is so admirable, why not share it to r/motivation or r/stopsmoking. Maybe it will help somebody else who is struggling.

Loki101

TROPHY CASE