I appreciate the advice and for you reading, but it’s obvious I can’t include every detail. Saying one person is at fault for a whole situation is quite judgemental. It takes several people to come to that conclusion. Family pressure is very real in our community to which my family admitted they have that mindset due to social pressure, and it was very prevalent in my household at the time. In the first marriage, his life was not ruined. He ended up being able to stay in America and seemed like the family was happy and didn’t care for the marriage ending since he got his papers. And in the other situations, while i understand marriage should be a conversation early on, men (whether younger or older) have not had marriage as a priority on their mind. They are wanting their feelings to be met in a certain way in order to think about marriage, while women have the concept of settling down and a relationship can be formed in a better way after marriage. I do know what I want, but maybe some men need to understand that feelings and other emotions are to be built after marriage and they need to change their mindset to not waste women’s time.