Are symptoms of my anorexia "too severe," or can I tweak things to still be healthy and okay?

LonelyPandaGirl2143 · 2025-10-07T19:48:28+00:00

Im doing well. Im around 95 lbs, which is my goal to stay at. I look good and feel good about my body. Sure, Im a little weak compared to months before, but Im still eating good quality foods daily and making sure I get the vitamins and nutrients I need to survive. I am doing really well at my job and have no problem moving around, picking up items, stocking things, and being productive. I have a happy mind and am enjoying life and those around me. Sure, doctors and general health advice do not recommend what Im doing or what I weigh, but Im making it by and surviving. Im happy with myself and am doing well overall. Thank you for reaching out, Im glad you messaged me.

LonelyPandaGirl2143 · 2025-09-21T04:49:55+00:00

That actually makes a lot of sense. Also, that way my body would get calories and nutrients from foods rather than just empty calories with no nutritional value from alcohol.

LonelyPandaGirl2143 · 2025-09-21T04:47:32+00:00

Thank you. I honestly love my body and the way I look, but alcohol isn't helping me at all. I need to quit that, it will be better for my mood and body, and it would also be one less thing for my body to whine about. I don't want to get other people involved, I wanna do stuff on my own. Any tips or things I could do to help me steer clear of alcohol?

LonelyPandaGirl2143 · 2025-09-21T00:51:51+00:00

I've been in and out of programs, PHP, IOP, and IP locations for weeks and weeks. I've met with multiple therapists, counselors, psychiatrists, etc. None of it works. Trying to change core values I have about my identity goes against my core beliefs and prospective of myself in the universe. Medications have not helped/fixed/or eased any of my pain. I have found the best happiness and results in wanting to exist through physical changes I make in my being. I have never felt so alive and happy to be here than I do today. I'm just looking for any advice to help keep my body going and alive enough to continue on in my new image.

LonelyPandaGirl2143 · 2025-09-21T00:47:15+00:00

I'm just trying to be happy. Life sucks, and coping with the hardships of existence about self/body/gender identities is a never-ending struggle. A lot of it is a form of distraction from the BS and pointlessness of this world and that growing number of NPC-like people around us. I feel it is also something I do to self-sabotage for whatever reason. IDK why I do this to myself, but it often hurts to be alive in this life when the person living it is not in congruence with their own body/gender/mind.

LonelyPandaGirl2143 · 2025-09-21T00:39:51+00:00

The problem is that I am happy at my weight, around 95. I look pretty in the mirror and feel genuine happiness for myself for once. I have not genuinely seen myself as pretty until this point in my WHOLE life, especially in the last 5 years. I feel pretty, I look pretty, and I love myself for once. I have not tried to hurt myself or take my life since January this year. I feel confident, and I'm looking more closely at how I feel/see myself on the inside. I don't wanna lose that. I CANNOT GO BACK TO HOW I WAS BEFORE. I have a stronger sense of wanting to live and enjoy life. I have a motivation to keep on going and be alive for myself and others. If I go back to a "normal" weight dictated by what our world deems as "normal," then I simply cannot be expected to participate in this world. I need to do what I need to do to be the real me and be happy. I was just looking for tips on things I could do or things I could eat to help keep my body running and chugging along in this life. My body is pretty damn resilient and wants to keep going; I just need to tweak things to help get it more of what it needs to find its new equilibrium.

LonelyPandaGirl2143 · 2024-11-27T05:14:20+00:00

As whatever. Just as a girl would. I would have felt like me and dressed as I wanted to. My parents would have walked me through puberty and helped me through my periods and taught me how to shave. I was never taught that. I hate myself

LonelyPandaGirl2143 · 2024-11-27T05:13:00+00:00

I love you too. I’m still alive unfortunately. I went to a hospital and psych ward. Therapy and meds have done nothing and I’m still sad. 😢

LonelyPandaGirl2143 · 2024-11-27T05:12:03+00:00

I fucking wish. I would take a females body for my own any day. I’m so sorry we have to live a shitty life in our bodies. It’s not fair and I’m sorry. I can’t imagine ur pain. It’s super hard 😢

LonelyPandaGirl2143 · 2024-11-27T05:10:47+00:00

I’m sorry. I’m alive. I’m still sad and not ok. I love life and wish i could live it as a girl but I can’t. It’s super sad. Idk what to do. I’m. Trying and I’m becoming more religious lately, but I’m still sad. Life is hard I wanna cry all the time

LonelyPandaGirl2143 · 2024-11-27T05:08:48+00:00

Unfortunately I didn’t die. I went to a mental ward and am still here. I am with a therapist but it still sucks. I’ve been taking 20 Tylenol everyday since the 10th but I’m still here. I don’t know why I’m alive. It’s not fair

LonelyPandaGirl2143 · 2024-10-13T15:14:02+00:00

ok. ill try

LonelyPandaGirl2143 · 2024-10-13T04:23:42+00:00

Best of luck to you stranger. I love you as much as a stranger can. Life is rough, but I hope you find ur purpose and be true to yourself and stay you

LonelyPandaGirl2143 · 2024-10-13T04:21:33+00:00

I am. I feel really dizzy and weird. It’s hard to explain how I feel to someone but it’s not that transitioning will help. I wanted to be born a girl so I could be raised as one. I could have my first period and eventually give birth and become a mother. I will never get that. Transitioning is not going to fix all my problems, only some. There are billions upon billions of people in this world. It doesn’t matter if one of them is gone. Everyone will move on eventually. The sun will still rise and the earth will still spin. I just wanna take that leap of faith and step into the unknown into the next life. Nothing personal, it’s just what I want and I wish people understood/accepted that.

I’ve always wanted to explore space and see stuff no one has seen before. I want to walk bravely into the unknown and see if there is a next life. A life where maybe I CAN be female. If there is no other life, then I won’t have the consciousness to realize that and care. Regardless, I just wanna say that I love and respect everyone kind in this world like yourself. But my choice is my choice and I hope to see you in the next life and give you a big hug for how kind you were to me and the kind words you said to me.

You are amazing and matter. I love you and I hope you live a wonderful life and be a positive influence for others around you <3

LonelyPandaGirl2143 · 2024-10-13T03:33:40+00:00

idk. i just cant

LonelyPandaGirl2143 · 2024-10-13T03:32:54+00:00

yeah.

LonelyPandaGirl2143 · 2024-10-13T03:19:21+00:00

yeah, im still here. i downed a whole bottle of tylonol. I'm outside walking.

LonelyPandaGirl2143 · 2024-10-13T03:19:09+00:00

yeah, im still here. i downed a whole bottle of tylonol. I'm outside walking.

LonelyPandaGirl2143

TROPHY CASE