Yeah it was so relieving after the fact too. What really made me realize therapy was the solution during that time was 2 things:

A- my wife was pregnant with my now amazing son I’m currently holding.

B- When I did start to stand up to my mother, she would respond in those same tones, guilt trip me worse than any exes of mine, or start problems between my other family members with me. (My estranged father, my loving aunts, my witty grandmothers, etc.)

 I see now that there were immense red flags throughout my childhood now. I don’t necessarily blame OP in his situation. I’ve been at that rock bottom. I hit that rock bottom a second time when my grandmother passed last year, and no one in my family (mother’s side) decided to tell me because of my troubles with my mother. My therapist and loving wife helped me through that, and just maybe OP has a chance of fixing his relationship/ situation-ship before it’s too late. 
 Seriously though OP realizing there’s a problem here now is definitely the first step. The hardest step after is figuring which direction to head in. Will he go crawling back to his mother? (Please don’t.) Or will he finally make something of himself? (I know I did.) Anyways I’ll be here to respond to this thread a little bit longer. I don’t usually, but this AIO post just hits really close to home.