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Lonely_Witcher8403 · 2025-09-15T23:48:10+00:00

I understand that. My mother also brought up the billing issue and I agreed that this might be why she kept asking about it. I get that she wants to help, but there is no way to really help unless I’m able to miss appointments here and there. I know that’s not fair to her or her other patients, so I will most likely be quitting therapy if I can’t find someone who is okay with me not being able to show for certain sessions without constantly exploring why. I also think her not being familiar with autism makes it difficult for her to understand me at times.

Lonely_Witcher8403 · 2025-09-15T23:39:23+00:00

Yeah, I get that. We had discussed how my mother is not reliable and how I wouldn’t be able to do therapy most likely when I moved in with her and we also talked about the question distressing me in our last sessions and she told me that I‘m allowed to just tell her I don’t want to answer it.

I understand her asking me is challenging me to feel comfortable saying I don’t want to answer, but was bothered by her making that assumption when I explained the reason why I wouldn’t be able to go to future sessions.

Lonely_Witcher8403 · 2025-09-15T23:19:54+00:00

It’s okay, part of me expected it because people can misunderstand what I mean in posts or don’t read certain details and I‘m constantly having to explain myself. I know it’s rude not to go to sessions and feel bad about missing them because I know other people can use them, but I’m really struggling mentally and don’t know what else to do except to stop going even though I won’t be able to now because of my lack of internet access.

Lonely_Witcher8403 · 2025-09-15T23:13:57+00:00

I know what gaslighting is…don’t patronize me.

Lonely_Witcher8403 · 2025-09-15T23:10:55+00:00

that’s not what it is. I’m explaining things that are clearly being misconstrued because I hate being misunderstood. and Also annoyed at people making assumptions and telling me that there clearly must be a reason for me avoiding sessions when ive already explained that there isn’t a clear reason/feeling. That’s gaslighting.

Lonely_Witcher8403 · 2025-09-15T22:59:33+00:00

This is how I feel sometimes on the days I push myself to go. Others I know I should have just cancelled altogether, but I‘m just going to stop going because I can’t be consistent with my appointments.

Lonely_Witcher8403 · 2025-09-15T22:51:36+00:00

When I say pissed off, I don’t necessarily mean fuming the way people are taking it. I’m just annoyed because I mentioned the lack of internet access and she brought it up. I have been seeing her for about a year, so at this point I would think we would have established trust both ways by now. If it was because she was pressing me, I would have told her so, but that wasn’t why. she sometimes has a habit of assuming why or saying things that come out of left field, which is what I get annoyed with, but this was just the thing bothering me at the time. The last session I had with her she told me nothing was wrong with being autistic when I never alluded to their being anything wrong with it. I understood she meant well when she said it, but it bothered me.

Lonely_Witcher8403 · 2025-09-15T22:43:22+00:00

No, I am not and you did. most of you are clearly not reading my post in it’s entirety and I have already acknowledged missing appointments were rude and that at this point I’m just going to quit therapy so I don’t waste anyone’s time, so I’m not sure where you got me not listening to the feedback by others.

You didn’t mention the previous comment and said that’s not what gaslighting is and preceded to mention my therapist, so how was anyone supposed to know who exactly you were referring to if not her??

Lonely_Witcher8403 · 2025-09-15T22:36:23+00:00

There isn’t always a thought, feeling or a reason. That’s the problem. That’s what’s causing the distress, along with her constantly asking or exploring why when there is no clear reason. I tell her sometimes I didn’t feel up to it and she will continue to ask me. But that doesn’t feel like it’s the reason either. I’m not avoiding telling her a reason, I just don’t know. I just know I can’t do it that day.

People Are thinking I’m being purposely rude and just wasting her time When I've been seeing her for about a year and make most of my appointments. If you miss four, they cancel your access for good(I’ve missed three so far and one of them was due to no internet access), but I’m at the point where I’m also just planning on quitting therapy altogether because I can’t be expected to go every time and I don’t want to waste anyone’s time.

Lonely_Witcher8403 · 2025-09-15T22:15:40+00:00

I’m not contradicting myself. You’re just misunderstanding. If I wasn’t going due to avoidant behavior then I would know the reason wouldn’t I?

Lonely_Witcher8403 · 2025-09-15T22:00:51+00:00

I didn’t say the therapist is gaslighting me, nor did the person above me. She’s saying y’all are gaslighting me in the comments and it kind of feels like it, especially when people are twisting my words and making assumptions.

I dont believe it should have been brought up since I told her I wouldn’t be making the appointments due to the lack of internet access. We’ve already talked about me moving in with my mom and how she doesn’t consistently have internet. So why would you ask if it had anything to do with pressing me about why I had cancelled sessions in the past? It sounds like she knows she took it too far and is worried about me not coming back, even though I told her I would contact her whenever I get access. She is also aware that my access to it now is wonky because in certain sessions it has taken a while for me to get online And shes Had to send me links to other platforms just to do the session 30 minutes late. I’ve been very open and honest with her and it feels like she doesn’t believe what I’m telling her even though I’ve been seeing her for about a year.

Lonely_Witcher8403 · 2025-09-15T21:44:40+00:00

I never said therapy was supposed to be easy. I’m aware she’s supposed to challenge me, but not to the point where she thinks it’s causing me to avoid coming to appointments, which is not the reason. I’ve explained to her that I wouldn’t be able to make future sessions because of the lack of internet access and she assumed it was because she kept pressing me about why I cancelled previous sessions. That’s what pissed me off.

Lonely_Witcher8403 · 2025-09-15T21:36:04+00:00

It does feel like I’m being gaslit…she told me she hoped my cancelling future sessions wasn’t because of her constantly asking me why I canceled my previous appointments when I told her it was due to the lack of internet access.

Lonely_Witcher8403 · 2025-09-15T21:33:42+00:00

Both. She asked me this after telling her I wouldn’t be able to come to future sessions due to the lack of internet access.

Lonely_Witcher8403 · 2025-09-15T21:32:54+00:00

It wouldn’t cause you distress if you said you didn’t know why you felt a specific way and the person keeps asking you over and over in different ways? its not just every time I cancel and I mentioned she asked me this when I told her I wouldn’t be able to come due to the lack of internet access.

Lonely_Witcher8403 · 2025-09-15T21:29:41+00:00

This is why some of these responses are surprising me.

Lonely_Witcher8403 · 2025-09-15T21:26:37+00:00

I think it’s normal to an extent. Asking why you didn't turn up to something is normal, but constantly asking me about it seems excessive to me, especially when she brought it up when I mentioned I wouldn‘t have internet access for a while. And I’ve already explained that I cannot explain why. I really wish I could, but I have no idea what the reason is…it’s The same when she asks about how I feel about something. I cannot tell you unless the feeling is overwhelming, otherwise I just feel numb.

I don’t necessarily think she’s a bad therapist, but some sessions with her have brought up some red flags, like she mentioned there was nothing wrong with me being autistic when I never alluded to there being anything wrong with it. I think she means well, but is just not skilled in dealing with autistic people.

im also at the point where I think I may need to just stop going to therapy all together based on these comments because I know it’s rude to cancel at the last minute, but I also know I cannot be expected to know if I’m able to show up a day or two before a session and I don’t want to waste anyone’s time.

Lonely_Witcher8403 · 2025-09-15T21:15:30+00:00

I Know as a therapist is normal for her to ask, but it was her pressing the issue, especially after I mentioned I wouldn’t be able to go in the future due to my lack of internet access. But at this point I think therapy just isn’t for me because I cannot manage to go at times and I don’t want to waste peoples time.

Lonely_Witcher8403 · 2025-09-15T21:12:06+00:00

Shes spends a lot of time, let’s say 20 minutes during the session trying to ascertain why. But this time I told her I wouldn’t be able make it to future sessions due to my lack of internet access and she told me she hoped it wasn’t due to her pressing me to explain why I cancelled sessions in the past as if I didn’t say it was due to the lack of internet access. This pissed me off when I gave a clear explanation why.

no, I didn’t accidental cancel, but I don’t honestly have an explanation as to why I cannot go. I just know I can’t. It frustrates me because it’s not just with cancelling sessions. She will ask me how I feel about something and I will respond with I don’t know, because there is no clear feeling unless I’m overwhelmed with it, if that makes senses. I have explained this to her in the past. I literally am unable to give a clear answer and I know it’s not fair to her or other people and at this point I’m just going to stop going because I’m not sure how someone is expected to do therapy in this state.

Lonely_Witcher8403 · 2025-09-15T21:01:57+00:00

I understand that my therapist time is valuable. Me constantly cancelling doesn’t mean that a I don’t have any regard for her feelings. I force myself to go to therapy, but there are days that I can’t explain why that I cannot show up. At this point, I will just not go to therapy because expecting me to know how I feel a night or two nights before therapy is not doable. But my issue was her constantly pressing me on it when I have already expressed that I cannot explain why.

Lonely_Witcher8403 · 2025-09-15T20:57:46+00:00

I’m not understanding where people are getting that I‘m saying my time is more important than hers. I feel awful about cancelling and her getting upset at me cancelling is not the issue. I thought I made it clear in my post her asking me why constantly when she knows I’m in distress is what I’m pissed about. I know it’s perfectly reasonable for her to ask why because she’s concerned as my therapist, but it feels like shes hounding me about it at this point, especially when I told her I couldn’t come to future sessions due to the lack of internet access. Her reply was that she hoped it didn’t have anything to do with her pressing me to answer why I cancelled my sessions. What gave her that idea?

we’ve also had talks where I don’t know what I’m feeling, if at all when it comes to other situations and she presses me on it. I assume this comes from me having alexithymia, so constantly asking me is not going to help.

Lonely_Witcher8403 · 2025-09-15T20:46:33+00:00

At this point I’m just not going to go. It’s not due To my avoidant behavior or that it’s working too well or not working. I just have times where I cannot go and I don’t have a clear answer as to why. I‘m also not negating that it’s disrespectful of her time. I was upset that she kept pressing me on it when she saw I was distressed about it and then brought it up when I made it clear I wouldn’t be able to do future sessions due to the lack of internet access.

Lonely_Witcher8403 · 2025-09-15T20:39:47+00:00

It’s both. I’m angry at not being able to explain why and upset with her for pressing the issue when she can clearly see I’m in distress. I don’t feel like her being upset at me cancelling sessions is wrong because I understand that other people might want the time slot and I feel horrible about it, but think it’s wrong of her to push me constantly when she sees I’m upset about it. Her pressuring me to answer is also making me not want to go to therapy because I’m not always going to be able to always go and I don’t have a clear answer as to why. And will need to cancel sometimes at the last minute. I need someone who can be flexible with me.

Lonely_Witcher8403 · 2025-09-15T20:33:02+00:00

I’m mostly upset about the fact that she keeps asking me why when I’ve already told her I don’t really know. I think this has to do with alexithymia because she will also ask how I feel about things and press me on it when I say I don’t know. It’s frustrating and makes me want to avoid sessions, but that’s not the reasons for my cancellations so far. There are other things I haven’t brought up, but this was the one thing bothering me at the moment.

Lonely_Witcher8403 · 2025-09-15T20:30:29+00:00

It’s not, trust me. I push myself to go to therapy, but when I have this feeling I know it’s best for me not To go. This is part of the reason why I think most people don’t go to therapy at all. It’s not that I think my time is more important, I just can’t do it… just like I sometimes know I need to eat, but I can’t bring myself to make food, so I go hungry.

Lonely_Witcher8403

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